Sunday, March 22, 2015

Road Bump In The Journey But Progress Is Being Made!

In this journey I have often felt like we are finally gaining ground, just enough to pass where we once were but then only to be pushed back... once we gain, it feels like we get shoved back, having to work even harder to get back to where we just were.  In the last week, we have been pushed back.  It is hard not to get discouraged but I am reminding myself that with God, there are no steps backwards, no time lost, just necessary steps to fulfill His purposes and in His timing.  And that we have so much to rejoice in all that God has already done for us.
Adam has had 3 seizures in the last 24 hours.  We believe we have narrowed it down to the increase of his antidepressant we did a few days ago.  We're unsure why his seizure medication effectiveness is decreasing as we have increased his antidepressant.  This is not a typical side effect of this particular medication.  The real bummer is, with this antidepressant, Adam has been able to get out of bed the last 4 weeks he has been on this medication.  We were just starting to see some positive changes... and now we are heading back to the drawing board to try to figure how Adam's severe depression can be treated effectively without causing anymore seizures.  

This seems to be a tricky balancing act and we could use prayer for wisdom as we proceed.  Please pray for NO MORE seizures... this is enough.  Pray too for rest for both of us.  I have struggled with falling asleep, I have wrestled with fear of Adam's breathing pattern changing, or a seizure beginning again.  Every breath he takes I am tuned into.  Every noticeable change, triggers my flight or fight reaction.  I am working at giving my fear to God, resisting the enemy, and standing firm in faith. 
Mackenzie's spring break is this week and I was counting the moments before we were once again reunited, with the recent turn of event however, it doesn't look like we will be together.  I am devastated and she is too.  Please pray for us as we cope with our separation.  She loves being with her grandparents and her horses, and I am incredibly grateful for the life Mackenzie has been able to have with them and apart from this journey. 
As I have been wrestling with God’s timing and purposes over the last day or so, my devotion this morning couldn’t have been more perfect.  I just have to share it…
The Bible has a great deal to say about waiting for God, and the teaching cannot be too strongly emphasized. We so easily become impatient with God’s delays. Yet much of our trouble in life is the result of our restless, and sometimes reckless, haste. We cannot wait for the fruit to ripen, but insist on picking it while it is still green. We cannot wait for the answers to our prayers, although it may take many years for the things we pray for to be prepared for us. We are encouraged to walk with God, but often God walks very slowly. Yet there is also another side to this teaching: God often waits for us.
Quite often we fail to receive the blessing he has ready for us because we are not moving forward with him. While it is true we miss many blessings by not waiting for God, we also lose numerous blessings by overwaiting. There are times when it takes strength simply to sit still, but there are also times when we are to move forward with a confident step.
Many of God’s promises are conditional, requiring some initial action on our part. Once we begin to obey, he will begin to bless us. Great things were promised to Abraham, but not one of them could have been obtained had he waited in Ur of the Chaldeans. The ten lepers Jesus healed were told to show themselves to the priest, and “as they went, they were cleansed” (Luke 17:14 [emphasis added]). God was waiting to heal them, and the moment their faith began to work, the blessing came.” ~ Streams of the Desert Bible Devotion

God's timing was so perfect in this devotion.  My hope is anchored in God and in his timing.  I pray that I will be obedient what he has in store for this journey and for our lives.  Psalm 57: 8-13 "Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll are they not in your record? By this I will know that God is for me.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.  I am under vows to you O God; I will present my thank offerings to you.  For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I many walk before God in the light of life."

 ADAM PROGRAMMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Adam's ability to program is still in his brain!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh how I have prayed, cried, and begged God that Adam could still have the ability to do what he loves, what he has always been so passionate about.  For those who knew Adam before his injury knew how much programming was something he loved, it was more than a job, more than a hobby, it has always been something he has been passionate about.  Over the last couple of years, I will often find Adam sitting in front of the computer at home, frustrated because he can't remember what to do.  He will often tell me that he knows he has a job on the computer but can't figure out how to do it. 
I am no programmer so I haven't been able to help Adam with this at all, we have tried for the last couple of years to find someone who would be willing to spend time with Adam tapping into the programmer aspect of his brain.  I have prayed, and so many of you have prayed for God to bring someone into our journey that could remind Adam of the basics of programming.  To show Adam basic programming and for us to see if Adam could still do it.  HE CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!  GOD DID!!!!!!!!  God has brought someone into our lives that has stepped into this roll and is amazing at it!  I watched in amazement this week as Adam solved a computer programming question.  Tears in my eyes as I watched Adam one step ahead at one point!  This is one incredible gift!
Programming isn’t the only thing we are giving thanks for… Adam was also given an opportunity to have a “job” at church.  He is able to provide help by volunteering administratively once a week!  Having this two opportunities is providing Adam with much needed purpose!  What answers to prayer!!!!  Keep it up prayer warriors, we need continued prayer for healing!
Adam "working" at church
We are incredibly blessed by these opportunities that God has provided and by those who are newly stepping into our journey.  God really has provided an army for Adam and we are seeing so many people being obedient to Christ by saying "yes" to the opportunity to walk with us on this remarkable journey.  It is going to continue to take an army as we would love to transition into life being "therapy" instead of so many appointments in our schedule.  We are believing God is working to make this happen!
Mackenzie at a completion, Adam and I were able to make it to Oregon and cheer her on!

My sister Renae also made it to the completion, this is us with Chuey, Mackenzie's horse

Adam and his brothers were able to hit a bucket of balls at a driving range while we were in Oregon

My boys

My man and I celebrating a successful day of therapies completed

Adam mowing our yard, every time he does, I know I am watching a miracle in action

Adam and I on a date night, Ranger came too.  I can't get over how handsome my man is!

Saturdays with Abby!  I love this girl!