Saturday, August 2, 2014

Casting My Cares and Laying Fears At God's Feet

I cast all my cares upon you
I lay all of my burdens
Down at your feet
And anytime
I don't know what to do
I just cast all my cares upon you

This was lyrics to a song that I sung in kids choir at my church growing up... when Mackenzie was younger I used to sing it to her as part of our bedtime routine.  And it's been years since I have thought about this song.  Today as I Adam and I were talking and he was processing life, the song came back to me.  After talking to Adam about his upcoming surgery, I asked if he was scared... and I told him it was okay, that I am scared too.  I sang this song to him and we prayed together.  Asking God to take our heavy hearts, our burdens, our fears and fill us with His peace, comfort, and remind us of His unending love in all that we are facing.

God is so faithful.

Oh how I want to walk with God steadfastly, seeking Him and faithfully submitting to His plans without fear, without doubt, without anxiety... Just complete trust that no matter the outcome of all of this, His will is being done.  In truth, I am trying really hard to lay my burdens down at His feet.  As I mentioned in my last post, it is an hourly practice for me.  Some days I lay my heavy heart at God's feet just to turn around and pick up burdens all over again.  These burdens I bare are not for me to carry, but for me to trust God in and through them, for me to hand over to Him and not to carry.

I love 1 Peter 5:7 in the Amplified version, it says... "Casting the whole of your care, all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately, and cares about you watchfully."  I just LOVE this!

I was sitting in church this weekend (down in Oregon).  Adam's uncle Roger was preaching and he was speaking on spiritual warfare and equipping yourself.  He gave an illustration about practicing and preparing for battles and brought it around to practicing and preparing ourselves for whatever life sends our way through being in God's word and recognizing God's presence all around us.  I am practicing now laying my burdens at His feet and come what may the day of Adam's surgery I will be prepared and ready.  God is preparing me now, meeting me every time I lay my fears down.  I know God is in this, all around this, and going before us every moment and even when I can't feel Him near, I am trusting He is there and giving thanks for His presence.

I wasn't sure if I was going to share this or not, but in full disclosure it gives a glimpse into how incredibly amazing our marriage is.  In the beginning of this journey I blogged about the last conversation I had with Adam before his injury... but for those who are new to the blog I will give you a quick "readers digest" version...  Driving out to the track the day of Adam's injury, Adam uncharacteristically professed his love for me, and his appreciation of me as his wife, best friend, and helpmate.  Neither one of us knew at the time, this was the last time I would hear him speak for nearly almost a year.  It was the last time he fully knew me as his wife.

I love this man with every breath, every fiber of my being, and with every heartbeat!  He is my gift!

As we have been preparing for surgery, Adam has once again taken up uncharacteristically professing his love for me.  He has woken me up in the middle of the night on multiple occasions, just to tell me that he thinks I am so special and that he loves me so much.  We'll be driving in the car and he'll all of sudden put his arm around me and tell me how much he loves me and that he wants me to be his best friend forever.  He has told me that I am his favorite gift.  I'm trying so hard to appreciate his sentiments for what they are and not let my fear take over.  My fear of "what if this is his way of saying goodbye" "what if he won't speak again"... fears and "what ifs" are a dangerous path.  I did a bible study just weeks before Adam's injury and one of the assignments was to say the "what ifs" and write them down like this IF this_________________, THEN GOD.  So I am reminding myself that if my fears happen... THEN GOD!  Equipping, practicing, and preparing for what is to come. Trusting, believing, and claiming that God's ways are higher and more vast than I could ever begin to understand and He is in control and guiding every step of Adam's recovery.  Adam is in God's hands, and He loves Adam more than my heart can begin to comprehend.  


I cast all my cares upon you
I lay all of my burdens
Down at your feet
And anytime
I don't know what to do
I just cast all my cares upon you.

Mackenzie participated in her first equine competition, taking home 1st Place for barrel racing and 4 2nd place ribbons for other events!  So proud of this kid and the hard work she puts in! 

Mackenzie doing what she loves the most!
Playing the game of life with my niece and nephews! So much fun playing with these kids!

Yes... this was my occupation during the game... so thankful it is not in real life!
Mackenzie and Adam having fun painting different projects.

This kid is amazing and I have been missing her as she has been with Adam's parents most of the summer.  I am so thankful to Jack and Cookie and to my brothers in law and sisters in law for their help, love, and encouragement they have given to Mackenzie.  Thankful for Adam's parents introducing Mackenzie to so many new passions and safe outlets... I love you all so much!  Mackenzie will remain in Oregon through Adam's surgery and recovery... letting her be a kid and have an enjoyable summer! 
(And she has Goldie too, I miss them both)

My mom treated me to a day of pampering!  It's not often we have time together just the 2 of us, it was so incredibly special.  (My toes are pretty now too, thanks mom!)
This might now mean much to anyone else, but we have been waiting and waiting for these to hit most cash registers at Starbucks!  A VISUAL MENU!!!  For those with disabilities with speech difficulties or sigh impairments this is HUGE help! 
I will be doing my best to post once a week as we walk through this season, thank you all for your prayer!
(An updated prayer list will be posted soon)



Anonymous said...

My Dear Amy, I will post more later. I just wanted you to know I love you and am trusting Father for you.

You are quite a mom. It is hard for my daughter to have her oldest gone for 4 or 5 days to our house....and it's just down the street.

I am proud of you. I KNOW Father will give you special gifts during this time.


Anonymous said...

Every time you post something God speaks to my heart about "trusting Him" and laying the burdens down. As I travel to see my parents in Florida this coming week I need to continue to trust and pray God's Will be done in my dad's life...I feel we are almost having a long goodbye as his health and mind decline steadily...we will leave it in God's hands...He knows what is best. Thank you for continuing to remind me of precious truths from God's word. Our family will continue to pray for each of you!! You are a blessing in my life even through this blog. Thank you for sharing.
In Christ,
Emily J.

Anonymous said...

"My Father, I don't understand why Amy should have such opportunities as you have given her. You do. I don't see the work that is being done in all their lives. You do. I do know You wrap our gifts in unusual packages. I do know they are gifts none the less. I do know You are with us/them each step of the way. I do know You know the plans You have for us, for our good and not for our destruction. I do know You love Amy, Adam, and Mackenzie more than they know. I do know You have a wondrous plan that is being executed by Your Master Hand. I do know You are with them every step of the way and are holding them close to Your heart. I love you and am grateful for Your care of all of our lives. Give Adam, Amy, and Mackenzie a special GREAT BIG HUG." Amen and Amen


Anonymous said...

Amen, Marion.

Amanda said...

Thanks for the recent updates, Amy! We will be praying for the upcoming surgery and recovery.


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