A decision I made early on when I decided to live my life for Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, was that I was all in. In good times and bad, in difficulties and celebrations... I don't want to wake up in the morning being the same person I am today. I want to consistently be in the hands of my maker, shaping me and molding me to be more like Him. I don't want to go one day without His hands working in and through my life. This has been my prayer and my heart since that day in 2005 when I asked God to forgive me of my sins and to allow me to live for Him all the days of my life. This hasn't been an easy prayer to keep praying, especially when God has chosen very challenging circumstances, or even challenging relationships to grow me. The growing pains are rough sometimes.
Everything that Adam and I have gone through prior to his injury and even since his injury has taught me a great deal about the importance of growing to be holy and making that my focus rather than my focus of just "being happy". A long time ago, I remember saying frequently that "life's too short not to be happy", in reality life's too short to not focus on allowing God to refine me and make me more holy. We learn a lot about God through our relationships with others. God often uses our spouse to be the vessel to build in us Christ likeness. This evening I was reminded how much I have changed and how much God is growing me through my marriage to Adam and even other relationships in my life.
We learn a lot about the character of God and who is when we follow the examples He has set before us. God forgives; we learn forgiveness by refusing to give up on those who’ve disappointed us. God loves; we learn to love by enduring in friendship with those who are at times unlovely. God is gracious; we learn grace by blessing others when they haven’t earned our blessing.
I loved this example from a devotion I read earlier today as I was seeking wisdom and guidance from the Lord… “The Bible borrows an image from the world of architecture and construction to describe God’s plan for relationships: “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Romans 14:19 – NASB). Relationships among Christians are like construction sites; each person is being built up spiritually, made more and more like Jesus. God is doing this work, and the tools he uses include our interactions with one another.”
When we disengage from difficult relationships (and or difficult circumstances), it’s like leaving the construction site. We miss out on the opportunity to grow in our likeness to Christ through the very difficulties we so desperately want to avoid. The notion of pursuing peace is critical. It suggests that harmony is something we ought to crave so much we’ll chase it down at great expense to ourselves. Obviously, a primary obstacle to growing in our relationships is complacency – simply not caring enough to do the hard work of forgiving, accepting, forbearing. It is, after all, so much easier to disengage, ignore, marginalize.
Marriage is the perfect platform for us to learn such great tools, to grow closer to Christ, and to become more like Him as we allow Him to use us to accomplish His will and for Him to have His way in our life. Marriage also offers the perfect platform to put into practice what the Bible teaches. Forging through the storms so that we might grow and become more like Jesus. Not easy by any means but critical to our walk with God. It might seem easier just to walk away from our difficulties, whether people or circumstances, but in the long it would be me who would be missing out on all that God has planned to be good through these storms of life. Because I believe in God I believe this to be true, that no matter the difficulties God is still good and still working all things together for good.
I can see Him working things together for good as I watch Him knit Adam back together. How thankful I am that Adam is still here and persevering through it all. It might have been a day of challenges and Adam was extremely agitated on and off throughout the day but, I sure can see God working all things together for good just by allowing Adam to be getting the help he needs at this time. God’s provisions are amazing. My man is amazing all that he is persevering and fighting through.
Adam had another full day of therapy nearly 6 hours of therapy plus a team meeting and a meeting with the vocational counselor. I am so proud of my man! He truly is the strongest man I know for all that he fights through daily and all that he has come through in the last 4 and a half years. During our team meeting today as we were discussing goals and plans for Adam’s few weeks here as inpatient, my heart was heavy. I explained to the team what baseline looked for Adam and even discussed some of the things he was capable of with his right hand only a couple of weeks ago. His doctor told me that he believed some further damage may have been caused whether form the surgeries or the complications its unsure… but he believes it will take 6 months to a year to get Adam back to where he once was.
It’s incredibly hard to not be discouraged or sad when I think about it. But just like I have been saying, God has a plan for all of this and there are no steps backwards. He is still a miracle working God so please pray for Adam’s miracle. Pray that this will be just another statistic he will defy and overcome. I am so thankful God is in the miracle business, I am still hoping, praying, and believing for the miracle of Adam’s full restoration. Not a sign of his injury left behind. I truly believe this will happen. When Jesus healed, he ALWAYS miraculously and instantaneously did so. He never healing part way. While He has allowed Adam to make it this far, I am still believing He will heal Adam completely.
Please continue to pray for Adam and our time here. Pray against discouragement and frustration, pray for continued perseverance and strength. Pray also for Mackenzie. She is going through rough transition as she is preparing for high school to start on Wednesday. She had her orientation today and it was a struggle for her, she felt so alone. Please pray that God will provide her with good girlfriends and a positive 4 years at high school. Thank you all for your continued prayers and encouragement, it really helps us get through our days.
If you would like to send something Adam can put on his walls in his room the address is:Inpatient Traumatic Rehab
Room 465-2 Root
325 9th Ave
Seattle, WA 98104