Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Our Journey... 3 years of New Beginnings

Oh there are truly days I would love to disappear, this is one of them.  May 15th could forever be erased.  I think about how I would love to have one day to run away from my reality and have one day that I don't have to face all that has happened, one day to not face how quickly my life had changed... and then that small still voice speaks and reminds me of all the good of all the joy in the journey.  The small still voices speaks truth into my deep rooted sorrow, reminding me that God is still in control, that He has a perfect way, and that not one tear has gone unnoticed by Him.  And as I look up to the mountains and seek the joy of Lord... He is consistently renewing my strength, and giving me the strength to rest in His promises. 

Max Lacado writes "Catch God in a bad mood? Won't happen.  Fear exhausted grace? A sardine will swallow the Atlantic first.  Think he's given up on you? WRONG.  Did he not make a promise to you?  'God is not a human being, and he does not change his mind.  What he says he will do, he does.  What he promises, he makes come true.' Numbers 23:19(NCV)  He's never sullen or sour, sulking or stressed.  His strength, truth, ways, and love never change.  'He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.' Hebrews 13:8 And because he is the Lord 'will be the stability of your times' Isaiah 33:6 (NKJV)

Dear Adam,
Over the last three years, Adam you have inspired me through your perseverance, your endurance, your strength and your ability to overcome odds stacked against you. 
While I  would have never chosen a brain injury to change our lives, I can honestly say Adam and his injury has made me a better person.  Adam has taught me laugh, he has shown me it’s okay to cry, you have taught me to rejoice in ALL the little blessings along the way! You have made me more compassionate, patient, understanding, you taught me to be careful with my words, to live each moment as a gift, to love intentionally… to love with a depth of my soul that I didn’t know existed, at times to love without words, without expression, to love beyond myself, recognizing the supernatural love that makes this all possible. 
Adam you taught me to cling to my faith, to pray without ceasing, to be content despite the circumstances, to hope beyond reason; you taught me that there is no sweeter place to be than on my knees.  To my man, I say thank you!  I love you so much, and I AM SO PROUD TO BE YOUR WIFE!

Let me recap the last month for you all...

We travelled through, storms, rain, heat, hail, and snow and finally arrived from North Carolina to Oregon a couple of weeks ago... I still can't believe we are here.

In the last couple of weeks, Mackenzie started a new school, Adam started therapy... well, I just make sure everyone gets to where they need to be and do my best to stay on top of it all.  Let's start with Mackenzie, thank you to all who have been lifting her into the hands of Jesus, He's carrying her through this season victoriously!  Her transition into this new school has been the easiest and most exciting transitions we have experienced!  She LOVES her new school and is academically thriving.  She seems to be making friends and enjoying her days, but to be honest... I haven't seen much of her.  I compete now with horses for her attention.  She loves being on Adam's family's farm.  And when she has 100 horses surrounding her and lots of new babies from this foaling season, she is in her own little heaven.  She helped her Gramps with the delivery of a foal and she has told me that and riding Tennessee (Granny's pony horse) and helping Gramps is better than Disneyland!

As for Adam... just a few days after arriving here in Oregon, Adam had another seizure.  I believe it stemmed from over doing it, travelling, working on the farm, and being in familiar territory, yet still trying to make sense of his life.  He seems to have recovered from this last seizure without any complications which is truly a miraculous gift from God.  Adam needs to be covered in prayer as much as you can remember to pray for him... he is trying to so hard to make sense of his life and as he is coming to the realization of his age, he is aware of all the years he has lost and this is very, very hard for him.  It's good, but it is very hard. 

Please pray that as Adam starts to put the pieces of his life together, that he would remember and that we wouldn't have to start over every day.  Please pray for his memory to increase and for him to be able to build on memory.  Pray that God will comfort him during this difficult season, that Adam would see his purpose and know that his life has so much meaning.  Often when Adam is struggling with his memory loss, he tells me he has no purpose, and he feels like his life is meaningless.  I remind him of all that God has done, of all that God is doing, and that God has called Adam to be His mighty warrior from the very beginning.

Adam skyping with Dan in Boston!  Thank you Dan for encouraging Adam and congratulations on making your Honors at school! 

Mackenzie on the farm

Adam taking one of the mini horses and her baby for a walk

Uncle Brad teaching Mackenzie gun safety and having fun

Me and my sisters, a day on the deck at my mom's

Mackenzie riding Tennessee... I am pretty sure she was on Tennessee more yesterday than she was off of him.

Adam showing off his collection one day, he is doing an amazing job collecting all those eggs from the chickens here.
Okay, I had fun shooting too!

Adam painting one of the barns

I love sunsets!  This is the one God painted for me from my mom's deck!

Spring time at the farm means LOTS of flowers!!!

Adam, Mackenzie, and I watched as this baby made its way into the world on Monday!

We had the awesome privilege of having Pendleton Wools shoot their Fall catalog here this week!
As you can all see, there is so much to do and so much that is always going on here... one thing is for sure, a farm in the spring time doesn't lend to very much down time!  BUSY BUSY BUSY... But God is showing me new beginnings all over the farm, from baby horses, our chicks, baby sparrows all over the farm, our baby ducklings that have made their home on the pond and the many blossoming flowers and trees... new beginnings happen more than once... Praise the Lord for our many new beginnings in our journey of brain injury.  God is healing Adam daily and refining our new beginnings regularly.