Monday, December 31, 2012

Faithful in Miracles... 2012 What A Year!

I was reminiscing tonight with friends about our journey, and I was giving thanks for creating memories as a family... I know that I have blogged about this before, but I want to share again... it is truly a miracle and a gift that we have been given to create the memories we have this year.  I remember laying in Adam's hospital bed with him in Boston crying because I so badly wanted to create memories as family outside of a hospital... this year 2012, Adam returned home and the memories we have cherished will never be taken for granted.

Psalm 57:10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

I have spent most of the last week reflecting on the 2012 and all that God has done for us.  But before I share with you the list of all the miracles we have seen... we have one more to share!!!!!

ADAM RODE A BICYCLE!!!!!  Yes!!!! A Bicycle!!!!  Unassisted!
This is Adam and I riding bikes in our neighborhood!  Adam has the biggest smile on his face!

This is me telling Adam how incredible he is and what a blessing it is to be his wife!
In 2012 we celebrated Adam's return to living at home!  We have watched as God has restored Adam's ability to speak in a normal tone of voice.  We watched not just Adam's walk improve, but we watched him run!  We stood in awe and wonder as Adam wrote and read for the first time in 2 years.  I was amazed as I watched Adam mow the yard, golf 9 holes, bowl a 112, typed his first email, cooked me dinner, ate sushi with chopsticks, traveled cross country, kayaked, casted his own vote... wow... wow, as I sit here and type I am wiping tears from my face, I am in awe and adoration of what a mighty God we serve and how far He has brought us.  THANK YOU JESUS, YOU ARE SO FAITHFUL!!!  Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God.
The video below is created using only pictures from this year... just look how much we have to rejoice and give thanks for!

I can't wait to see what God is going to do in 2013!  Healing is happening!  God is healing Adam EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY... keep praying and believing with us for Adam's FULL restoration.

Saturday, December 22, 2012


What a whirlwind of a month.  In a little over a week, we have had 60 hours of appointments, 700 miles of travels for appointments and 3 exhausted people!  This has been typical of this entire month.  I am so thankful for those who have reached out to encourage us whether by letter, texts, meals, errands, and even the sweet gifts that are under our tree because of you.  God's faithfulness through all of you lifts me up, encourages me, renews my faith, and teaches me that to daily trust Him at His word is worth every difficult moment we have faced in the last several weeks.

Adam this week, he was under going some tests and monitoring

I took this picture on the ways home from one of my days at UNC

The greatest gift I have receieved over the last year has been the richness God has given me in His word.  Teaching me and showing me that I can truly take Him at His word.  Whether I go before Him competely broken with what seems like nothing to offer except my broken heart or whether I go before Him with complete and utter adoration and humility filled with inexpressible joy or whether it's with tears of sorrow or tears of joy... God has faithfully met me and continues to meet me daily in His word.  I recently went through my journal over this last year and I was so humbled and blessed by the richness of God's word and the people He has placed in my path to share a story of encouragement, and those that He has called into our journey.

One of the most difficult lessons I am having to learn is that God brings people in and out of our lives for seasons.  Some stay for the long seasons, while others may serve a short season... some we are blessed with for life!  (This is not meant to offend anyone, this is just from my heart)  I have grieved many relationships over the last year... One day while I was crying out to God questioning why dear friends have walked away from our difficult season, God revealed this concept of seasons to me... that even our friends have seasons in our lives.  We ourselves even go through seasons, sometimes we are in seasons when we can give ourselves abundantly in friendships and there are seasons when God allows us to receive from our friendships. 

He has also showed me that He is removing those whose season has come to an end, or even those who no longer believe in or encourage us while we wait patiently and hopeful of Adam's FULL restoration.  BUT in God's faithfulness and in His way of being our Jehoviah Jirah, He has also faithfully provided and called people into our journey.  That while He might remove, He will always provide.  I am blessed by all who have shared a season of their life with us... and I am thankful for the those who are stepping into our lives to share a season together.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I just wanted to share some pictures from our month with you all... hope you enjoy!
Sunset in Fuquay Varina, NC a couple of weeks ago

We had the wonderful blessing to worship with The Katinas
Adam and his good friend Kelly
Adam and John playing basketball
Adam and Debbie making Christmas decorations

Apples to Apples!  Adam won, but I must say it was a close game!

Kenny teaching Adam guitar
Adam and our dear friend Jan
(Jan I don't know where I would be without you these last few weeks, I love you)

Adam strung the lights on our tree with no help!  Praise the Lord for this!  I am not very good at it.
Mackenzie placing the angel on the top of the tree
Adam with Mackenzie at her paino recital! 

Monday, December 3, 2012

Sorrow, Seizure, & JOY

I was reminded this week of the gift the joy of the Lord is.  I was reflecting on how God's mercies are new every morning, His grace is new every morning... and so is His JOY for us, it is new every morning. Most every morning I pray for God's joy to fill Adam and I, because receiving the gift of God's joy is what separates us from the world.  When we give thanks, praise God, and are filled with unexplainable joy even in dark hours or circumstances that don't make any sense... we become testimonies of the LIVING God. 

This week has been a particularly difficult week, so many things hitting us from so many different directions... there was a day earlier this week that if it wasn't for a very close family friend I wasn't sure I was going to make it off my bedroom floor.  I was in sheer anguish, pain, deep sorrow, this pain I feel I cannot put words to.  Even as I type now, the tears won't stop.  I laid on my bedroom floor crying out to God continuing to cry out to him for Adam's full restoration, for a deliverance from all these things that are hitting us... as I laid there I pictured myself with my arms wrapping tightly around the feet of Jesus and my head resting on the top of His feet... when I heard His soft sweet voice.  "Look up... This is where you are" as I looked up He was holding His fist tightly closed, I was in the palm of His hands.  I was reminded that nothing could touch me without first going through Him.  Out of desperation I was at His feet, but out of His grace, out of His love, I was being held tightly in the palm of His hands to remain untouched and safe... HE IS MY REFUGE.  Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

The next morning as I prayed for the joy of the Lord to be ever so present and near, I was reminded of the scripture verse in Lamentations about His mercies and grace being new every morning... I realized so is His joy for me and given to me... it is new every morning.  So through my tears even the next morning, again I had the choice to choose joy, to accept this amazing gift I was given.  I am not saying we choose joy and ignore our grief, we walk both.  We walk through our pain, our difficult circumstances, our grief, our sorrow... we allow these feelings, but we walk through them with joy... I choose joy in the midst of these circumstances that make no sense, I choose joy in the midst of my sorrow, I choose joy in the midst of my pain... I accept the gift of God's joy.  I take delight in knowing His joy for me is new every morning.

I cannot dwell on the uncertainty of my circumstances, this creates feelings of anxiousness, of worry... I place my burdens at the cross, I LOOK UP and I trust.  I do what I need to do just that day and don't think to the next, this allows me to stay in the moment, to rejoice in the moment I have been given, I take all my worries, my circumstances, my pain, and give them to God through praying without ceasing.  And this is where I am today... praying without ceasing.  I ask you to please join me in praying for Adam once again without ceasing.  PLEASE.

This weekend Adam and I made the trek up to DC to see Cale and Kathleen, Cale is in an inpatient program at Walter Reed Hospital and we thought it would be nice to see them before they are discharged home and back to Washington state.
Cale and Adam
Kathleen, Cale, Adam, & I
Friday night after dinner on our way back to Walter Reed, Adam suffered a severe Grand Mal Seizure in the car.  This might not seem like the ideal place for a seizure, but for us, it was... we were only one in half miles from Suburban Hospital a John Hopkins Medical center (God provided a great hospital)... we called 911 and decided it was faster for us just to drive than to wait for an ambulance.  At this point Adam wasn't breathing so I know I made the right decision.  We were able to get a medical team out to our car pretty quickly, Adam seized for 22 minutes.  This might sound completely strange, but I felt so prepared for this and I had peace that Adam was okay and would be okay.

My whole drive to DC, I was reflecting on the healing that has taken place this year.  I was reminded that last Christmas day we spent it in the ER of a hospital because Adam had a seizure and how much progress came from that.  When Adam seized Friday I know God was reminding me that He can work this for His good... and I am trusting and believing that.  As I drove home, I know there were other reasons we were there... Kathleen and I spent quite a bit of time in prayer while we were there.  Specifically I prayed for the doctor that was treating Adam, I even let him know I was praying for him.  The next morning when we were getting ready to leave I went to pick up Adam's CT scan and the doctor said to me, "I may not share your faith, but I do recognize that I needed prayer, thank you."  I am trusting God will continue to grow the seed that was planted and I will continue to pray for this doctor.  Often I feel like Adam and I are on a missions field, our missions field are the doctors, nurses, and therapists we come in contact with... every single one of them are being prayed for.

We made it home and we now have a week FULL of appointments and follow up exams and tests to figure out the cause and make sure Adam is okay.  I am praying specifically that this will be a breakthrough seizure specifically for his memory.  PLEASE pray for Adam's memory, pray specifically that Adam will be able to start retaining memory.  Prayer is our greatest need and I beg you all to join me in praying specifically for his memory.

Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

Psalm 31:2 Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me.

Psalm 33:20 We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.

Proverbs 30:5 Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.