Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Joy In Looking Up

I am convinced that restoration in Adam is happening at all times... sometimes it's not always visible and other times it blows me away!  Our family has embarked on a different kind of journey starting this last Friday... we hit the road!  We are making the cross country trek from North Carolina to Seattle, WA where we will spend the summer with family!  We have titled our journey, Miracle in Motion!  As we started this journey on Friday, I found myself giddy... a little over a year ago, I begged God for more family memories to be made outside of a hospital or facility.  As I began the drive I was filled with unspeakable joy, joy that manifested itself in tears running down my face as the car filled with laughter because I hit a bump and the hard boiled egg Adam was eating went straight into his glasses rather than his mouth.  Memories were being made! 

My heart is filled with overflowing joy at the faithfulness of God.  He is restoring Adam... I don't understand why God heals some miraculously and instantaneously, and other times why He chooses to miraculously heal but instead of it being instant it is moment by moment.  BUT I do trust in God's sovereignty.  AND I rejoice in this day for all that He has done, is doing, and is still yet to come.

We are still begging God for Adam's FULL restoration, even just yesterday Mackenzie and I together cried out to God for Adam's FULL healing.  Adam has days where he doesn't seem to be present, days where he won't respond, he just stares straight ahead... they happen every so often... and yesterday was one of those days.  We have learned to try not to make eye contact, because this will cause frustration and irritation, and we try not to ask questions... we just let him work through it.  For Mackenzie and I these days are very difficult.  We love the days when Adam is so present, attentive to our needs and feelings, and laughs with us at all that we encounter. 

It's hard to watch Adam go through days like this, but it's harder to live it out with him too.  He has the added blessing of forgetting all about it (due to his memory loss, sometimes this is a blessing to him) but Mackenzie and I feel each and every moment... we feel the moments of joy, laughter, excitement, hurt, pain, sorrow...LOVE, we feel it all.  I take heart knowing that in it all, God is with me.  Near me, He has never left me and He catches every tear shed both from the joy and the sorrow of this journey.  Isaiah 43:1-4 (NKJV)  And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, You are Mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you.  For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Since you were precious in My sight,You have been honored, And I have loved you;

The bible verses above do not say "if" you walk through the waters, "if" you walk through the fire... it says WHEN.  We all trails and journeys of different kinds... we all at some point will walk through waters that we feel will drown us, or fires that seem like they will overtake us... but God... but GOD will not let them over come us.  Because HE LOVES US, we are precious in His sight.  My challenge has been to not look at all that is going on, all my circumstances of life that seem overwhelming with pain and sorrow.  But to look UP.  Look to the one that is there right beside me, carrying me through it all.  When my focus is where it should be, on JESUS, on the end goal of seeing JESUS face to face, then and only then is when I experience the unspeakable joy!  There is so much joy, even in the midst of pain and sorrow.  I am learning that the only way that I can see and joy is when I am looking at JESUS.

I was hoping to share some photos with you all from our Miracle in Motion journey today, but I am actually blogging from a bathroom in hopes not to wake my family.  So I will sacrifice the camera and cord so that I don't disturb them from digging for what I need.  I promise pictures in the next few days!