Tuesday, May 15, 2012

In An Instant... Two Years

Two years ago today life changed in a matter of an instant. Often I still can't wrap my mind around how quickly our life went from being near perfection to actually walking through a hell on earth.

I have always tried to be transparent on this blog, I have bared my heart and soul, I have shared my deepest wounds and today will be no different...

Two years ago we started this uphill battle of recovery.  Adam and I have fought this battle together, but in very different ways.  He has fought to live with every breath he takes, not once giving up… I have fought for his right to take a breath and for his quality of life.  He has had hope to live, and I live because of hope.  The last two years have taught me more lessons than I feel a lifetime should.  I wouldn’t want to start this journey over or go through it again EVER, but I am so thankful for this journey and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Knowing the depths of God’s love for me and for my family has been the greatest gift I have received and try so hard every day to live it out loud so that others can see Christ’s love through me.

In full disclosure, the last week and half have been very difficult and very hard.  Over the last week, often I have found myself curled up in fetal position on the floor in tears over my man’s recovery.  I know God could have healed Adam yesterday, He could heal him this minute… and I have been praying for the strength to keep trusting in His Sovereignty. There are so many days I cry out to Jesus saying I can’t do this, I can’t go another step in this journey, and He so gently whispers… you can’t, but I CAN.  I am standing today by the sheer strength of God alone.  He has never left me, His promises are so real and His presence is indescribable.  His love is so tangible, so intense… so amazing.  Jesus loves me this I KNOW!

With this last week being so hard, remembering how much our lives changed so fast and fighting to hold on to the memories that seem to be fading… God took brought me to His Word and reminded me of the power of giving thanks.  I have shared this before, and forgive me as I share it again… the day of Adam’s injury as Bob, Connie, and myself paced the ICU waiting room at UNC waiting for some news, any news… Connie and I sat and I began to write down all that I was thankful for.  Yesterday I picked up a piece of paper and I began again… there is so much joy in the midst of our sorrow.  So much to be thankful for.  Adam is here, healthy, alive, walking, talking, here to hold my hand… he is here!  I love my man and I am thankful for how far the Lord has brought him.  I am thankful that I see Adam becoming more independent each and every day.  I am thankful that he is home.  I am most thankful that Adam knows His Savior. 

I am thankful for hope… Romans 8:24 & 25 “But hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has?  Be if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.  In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.”  My footnote adds "Rather than acting like impatient children as we wait for God's will to unfold, we should place our confidence in God's goodness and wisdom".  I am placing my confidence in God and God alone as I continue to hope and believe in Adam’s FULL restoration.  I am thankful that my hope is in the Lord, that my hope is not a feeling… my hope is alive… my hope is Jesus.

We need prayers today as much, if not more, than this day 2 years ago.  Please continue to pray for my man’s FULL restoration.  For those interested in praying deeply for Adam’s recovery and taking it to another level please check out Fasting For Adam


Anonymous said...

Amen and Amen, my friend. I am so glad to know that Fahter loves me. I too am learning the gift of thankfulness. I love you, Marion

Kathleen said...

I know so well the emotion you feel. Still praying for you two. Cale and Adam come back to us everyday! THis last week has also been a difficult week for us but as always, God is faithful and He's enough to sustain us!

Debbie said...

You both have "crazy love" for the Lord and for each other! I think it is awesome and wonderful.

I love you all!

Be encouraged my friend! (So thankful to live during a time when the Word is in print; and in a country where we can own several copies, read it and speak it in public, and openly give God all the glory!)

"The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace." ~Psalm 29:11

"Lord, you make him the man you want him to be, and I'll be satisfied." ~Elvira Finch

"May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace." ~Numbers 6:24-26

"Never give up! In your lowest moment, God may be preparing you for the biggest thing you'll ever do." ~Chuck Colson

The world says, "If I see it, I'll believe it." The Lord says, "If you believe it, you'll see it." ~Jon Courson

"Think less. Thank more." ~Joyce Meyer

"Believe the promise of the Lord even before you see it worked out because faith is essential to seeing the fullness of God's blessings released." (Rejoice in the Lord always. Phil. 4:4) ~Jon Courson

"Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel." ~Philippians 1:12

"So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." ~1 Peter 4:19

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." ~Joshua 1:9

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." ~Psalm 23:4

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you, Amy. You could have given up ... but you didn't. You could be mad at God ... but you aren't. You could be bitter ... but instead you are filled with Jesus' love overflowing. What a walking testimony you are for us all. Prayers continue always ~ for Adam and you and Mackenzie.

Love you, my sister ~ Sheri