Tuesday, May 15, 2012

In An Instant... Two Years

Two years ago today life changed in a matter of an instant. Often I still can't wrap my mind around how quickly our life went from being near perfection to actually walking through a hell on earth.

I have always tried to be transparent on this blog, I have bared my heart and soul, I have shared my deepest wounds and today will be no different...

Two years ago we started this uphill battle of recovery.  Adam and I have fought this battle together, but in very different ways.  He has fought to live with every breath he takes, not once giving up… I have fought for his right to take a breath and for his quality of life.  He has had hope to live, and I live because of hope.  The last two years have taught me more lessons than I feel a lifetime should.  I wouldn’t want to start this journey over or go through it again EVER, but I am so thankful for this journey and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Knowing the depths of God’s love for me and for my family has been the greatest gift I have received and try so hard every day to live it out loud so that others can see Christ’s love through me.

In full disclosure, the last week and half have been very difficult and very hard.  Over the last week, often I have found myself curled up in fetal position on the floor in tears over my man’s recovery.  I know God could have healed Adam yesterday, He could heal him this minute… and I have been praying for the strength to keep trusting in His Sovereignty. There are so many days I cry out to Jesus saying I can’t do this, I can’t go another step in this journey, and He so gently whispers… you can’t, but I CAN.  I am standing today by the sheer strength of God alone.  He has never left me, His promises are so real and His presence is indescribable.  His love is so tangible, so intense… so amazing.  Jesus loves me this I KNOW!

With this last week being so hard, remembering how much our lives changed so fast and fighting to hold on to the memories that seem to be fading… God took brought me to His Word and reminded me of the power of giving thanks.  I have shared this before, and forgive me as I share it again… the day of Adam’s injury as Bob, Connie, and myself paced the ICU waiting room at UNC waiting for some news, any news… Connie and I sat and I began to write down all that I was thankful for.  Yesterday I picked up a piece of paper and I began again… there is so much joy in the midst of our sorrow.  So much to be thankful for.  Adam is here, healthy, alive, walking, talking, here to hold my hand… he is here!  I love my man and I am thankful for how far the Lord has brought him.  I am thankful that I see Adam becoming more independent each and every day.  I am thankful that he is home.  I am most thankful that Adam knows His Savior. 

I am thankful for hope… Romans 8:24 & 25 “But hope that is seen is no hope at all.  Who hopes for what he already has?  Be if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.  In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.”  My footnote adds "Rather than acting like impatient children as we wait for God's will to unfold, we should place our confidence in God's goodness and wisdom".  I am placing my confidence in God and God alone as I continue to hope and believe in Adam’s FULL restoration.  I am thankful that my hope is in the Lord, that my hope is not a feeling… my hope is alive… my hope is Jesus.

We need prayers today as much, if not more, than this day 2 years ago.  Please continue to pray for my man’s FULL restoration.  For those interested in praying deeply for Adam’s recovery and taking it to another level please check out Fasting For Adam

Friday, May 4, 2012

Marriage, Farm Tours, and Progress

Marriage is severely under attack in our country.  Having to stand up and for what we believe in and defend what we believe is right, however, God's word does not need defending.  Charles Spurgeon writes "The Word of God is like a lion. You don’t have to defend a lion. All you have to do is let the lion loose, and the lion will defend itself.”  We have to know scripture and what it says and all we have to do is allow God to use His words through us.  Matthew 19:4-6 Look to Christ's example who responded to a question about marriage by saying, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator created them male and female and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and unite with his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So it is that they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Marriage is rooted in the natural order of man and woman as well as in their identity as human persons as they were created.  We as believers need to be living it out loud.  Ladies, I challenge you to start by telling your man the things in the video.  Tell your man you're proud of him, you are thankful for him, tell him that you love him... I let Adam know these things every day, I let him know what a blessing it is to be married to a man of integrity, to a man who is sold out for Jesus, what an inspiration he is to me by the way he abundantly loves God.
It is our American right, please get out and vote, take a stand for what is right.  Vote for marriage to remain as one man and one woman.  As of yesterday, I have even given up Starbucks... yes, I myself can hardly believe that I am writing these words.  But I am challenged to be a good steward of what we have and I can't support what I don't think is right.  www.DumpStarbucks.com informs that Starbucks issued a memorandum declaring that same-sex marriage 'is core to who we are and what we value as a company.Starbucks also used its resources to participate in a legal case seeking to overturn a federal law declaring marriage as the union of one man and one woman.  I just can't see financially contributing to this cause.  I'm not saying I am full on boycotting them, but I am just taking a personal stance to not support how they use their resouces.
Thank you all for your responses and encouragement to last week's blog post.  I know many of you are anxious to see what the test results were, but unfortunately we still do not have the results ourselves.  We spent most of our week last week at University of North Carolina undergoing many tests.  The first one was the EEG, for 2 days Adam had to where this fancy contraption (see pictures below), although was less than thrilled about it.  When the technician was applying the EEG I had asked her if there was any way that she could cover the leads on his head because I was worried in a moment of agitation that he wouldn't understand and then pull his leads off... I underestimated my man once again... half way through the test Adam and I were working on something and he said he had to get up and go to the bathroom.  He was taking a few minutes so I just went to check on him... he had figured out that the leads were attached to the machine on his back, so he opened it up and unplugged them one at a time.  So off to UNC we went, instead of being monitored outside the hospital we were now stuck inside for a bit. 

I am curious to see what the tests will reveal, but I am not anxious, worried, or even fretting... just curious.  No test will change our day to day reality nor will it change our love for each other. 

Adam making the best of it!

So... what did you do this weekend?!!!  The Root family had the coolest weekend!!!  We participated in the Piedmont Farm Tours.  It's an annual event in the Triangle area and it's a great way to meet the farmers that have been providing our foods!  40 farms participated in the tour, but in the 2 days of the tour we were able to see about 12 of the farms!  Since bringing Adam home we eat differently than we ever have before.  We eat mainly organic and only grass fed, antibiotic free animals... over the last several weeks we had been price comparing to see what's the best economic way to eat this way without going broke... the answer... buy directly from the farmer and eat what's in season!  Our grocery bill has not budged much from following these principals. 

A local farmers market is the best way to buy local and usually the farmer is there to answer any questions you might have.  I will say eating this way has truly made a difference in all 3 of us, not to mention it's been fun to build a relation with the farmer taking such good care of our food.  I have been conducting my own study of asking Adam the same three questions every day, questions that I know he has been able to answer even in spite of his aphasia, and then I time his processing speed... he has already made improvements!  I know I am not just feeding my family, I am feeding an injured brain that needs every opportunity to heal!  I believe how we eat will and is having an impact on Adam's healing process.  Farms worth getting to know: Walters Unlimited, Timberwood Organics, Fickle Creek, and Maple View Diary.

How can you resisit a food truck, especialy one that follows our choice of eating.  This local farm focuses mainly on catering and using what they have on their farm.

Mackenzie and I enjoyed the Frito Misto (tempura vegetables)...yummy!

Mackenzie on a tire swing at one of the farms we visited

Baby chicks at Walters Unlimited farm where we will continue to purchase our eggs, beef, and pork.

Cows at Walters Unlimited, happy cows!

We ended our day at Maple View Creamery, which was not actually participating in the tour, but since we were in the area and this is the farm that provides our family all it's dairy needs we stopped in for some ice cream!

Adam and I loving the memories we created!

Day 2 of farm tour we started at an herb garden and the farmer of the herbs is an herbalist, she was a wealth of information about how herbs can and were designed to help our bodies.

At Fickle Creek, all the animals we saw were as happy as these dogs.  The dogs were in every pasture where there were animals to protect the animals from predators.  I just loved these dogs.

Farm Fresh Eggs. and YES there is a difference, don't believe try a taste test for yourself.

Having Adam home has been busy!!!  I thought I was busy before... now I get to be just as busy as Adam!  I love that we get to do everything together, although, he is not as excited about this as I am.  This week, we have participated in swimming classes, yard work, TAP, exercising, scrap booking, and HALO.... okay, I told him if he helped with the scrap book I would try to play one round of HALO.

Before: our yard was covered with pine needles, which actually is a fire risk.

Adam working on getting all he pine straw up so that we can lay down mulch in it's place.  Too bad I forgot to take an after picture... I will add it to my list, coming soon... the after picture!

It's been so nice out that we have been taking advantage of our porch and doing therapy exercises outside!

When Adam was at Learning Services he had the opportunity to bowl every week and loved it!  Mackenzie received a card from school allowing her to bowl one free game every day from now until November.  I don't think we'll bowl that much, but we are going to try to make it once a week if not once every couple of weeks.  Adam came so close to a couple of strikes, and did manage a few spares!!!  GO ADAM!!!!

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers.  Adam is becoming more and more aware of who he is and his circumstances every day... with this also comes increased confusion and agitation.  I will continue to love my man through it, but I'm not going to say it's easy.  It is so hard when he screams at me all day and gets so mad at me when I am trying to help or explain things to him.  Please be praying for clarity and for his memory to return.  Adam will also be undergoing a sleep study as a result from his injury he is showing signs of sleep apnea.  This could also be playing into his agitation, because of the apnea he is unable to fall into a restful sleep.  Thank you for your continued prayers for our family.  Seeing Adam everyday make progress and begin to comprehend life is evidence of all your prayers!  Thank you so much!