This has been a very difficult day, like I have mentioned before in other blog posts, this journey is so multifaceted. There are so many components and balls to juggle, every day this journey is more than I can handle on my own. I am so thankful that when I am weak, HE is strong. Where would I be without the strength of Christ? I don't really want to know the answer to that question, I hope I never find out. I can't walk this weary journey without Him holding me and carrying me in the palm of His hands every day.
Today has been an extremely tearful day, it started out in the social security office just trying to manage Adam's care... it ended with a letter of termination from Adam's employer. With a termination date set for later this month, we loose all of our medical benefits... this doesn't give me much time to process and try to come up with a plan. You can imagine how difficult this was to receive, I knew eventually it would probably happen, but I didn't expect it now. No matter if you are expecting it, it doesn't make it any easier.
I have been stripped of everything that I would have considered my security, this was the last piece, Adam's job. I know God is teaching me that true security comes from walking with Him every day, true security comes from trusting in Him. My only security comes from my faith in Jesus Christ, He truly is ALL I need, He is so faithful.
After lots of tears today and my heart completely broken, my prayer is just to know God is all I need, He is enough. He has faithfully cared for us and provided for us this far, I will continue to trust in Him for ALL our needs. There is nothing about this journey that has been easy or gets easier, but with God's grace being sufficient for each moment we will continue to make it one moment at a time.
Often my prayer requests are for Adam and for his physical and cognitive needs, please continue to pray for his FULL restoration, but tonight I also ask that you pray for me. Pray that I will know the presence of God with me in each and every moment, pray that I will not loose sight of how amazing and wonderful it is to trust in the Lord with all my heart. Pray that I do look at my circumstances, but keep my gaze fixed on the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the author of my faith. I know I am weak, but I know the power of God's strength and I am thankful HE is strong.
Isaiah 40:28-31 "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
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