Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Cleaving

Mackenzie and I at Brookie's Wedding

My sister's wedding was beautiful, she looked absolutely amazing! 

So a couple of days before her wedding both my sisters and I were sitting around the kitchen table for our morning coffee... I had brought up a devotional and we were reading specifically about marriage (I know my die hard readers are shocked about this)... anyway, we were reading in Genesis 2.  Genesis 2:24 talks about a man leaving his mother and father and cleaving to his wife. 

Before I go any further I have to give some background... my sisters both love to cook and most everything revolves around being in the kitchen...  So when we were discussing the bible verse both of them looked at me and made this chopping gesture, I asked what it meant and they said "like meat cleaver".  So we discussed the meaning of cleaving.  Merriam Webster defines cleave "to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly"  We all shared a laugh in this, their first impression of the word cleave and it was so fun sharing with them the true meaning of the word and how God intended for our marriages to be.
So you can only imagine what happened when the pastor read the exact verse during the ceremony and talked about cleaving.  All three of us had to contain ourselves from bursting out with laughter and making a chopping gesture.  Just a funny moment and sweet memory made.

I loved that I was able to share in this experience, although not easy.  Seeing her wed the love of her life and watching them together, it stirred up a lot of emotions.  I just miss Adam so very much and there are so many times, I wish for one whole day of him knowing me, remembering that he loves me.  The physical pain I feel everyday from missing him is the worst pain I have ever experienced.  My heart longs and yearns for my man, my companion, our dreams we shared, a sense of normalcy, for him to know that he loves me and the significance of our love.  I have to believe there will be day that he will be restored.  I will never stop trusting in the Lord for Adam's FULL restoration.

With all my heart I will continue to believe that Adam will be restored and I will continue to battle the enemy against the unbelief that creeps in. I'm sharing this purely out of being transparent, sharing my heart, all my heart. This is not discouragement, just my heart crying out for how much I miss my husband, my best friend... my man.


7 comments:

Mary Strynar said...

Amen! Dear Lord, Restore Adam! We love You so much Lord and know You are doing an amazing work. In Jesus' name, amen!

Anonymous said...

Amy--
You and your precious daughter looked so beautiful for your sister's wedding!! Stunning! I also loved the photo with Adam. I know you miss what you had so much and it breaks my heart sometimes to think of how hard it must be. BUT...I believe that Adam does know how deeply he loves you and what you have...deep inside...it is still there. :o) Some of the memories might not be there right now but when I watched the WRAL interviews with you both...I could see the deep love you share together. He shares that with no other! It is there, dear one, and God used you, mostly you, to bring Adam to the place he is now. Adam knows how precious you are to him...I just know it.
Blessings,
Emily Jordan
Sanford, NC

Anonymous said...

we join you daily in that same prayer for Adam - and for the comfort you and Mackenzie need as well. By the way, you girls look gorgeous!! Thanks for sharing the picture... Adam looks gorgeous too!! love, Jan

Anonymous said...

Marriage......mentioned it...maybe, once or twice. :) Amy, I don't when, BUT, I do KNOW you and your Adam will have what you used to have and more. Kind of like Job's fortunes were restored twice of what they were before Satan had PERMISSION to take them from him. As far as the when, as fast as time is moving, I'd say not too long now. I love you, Marion

Anonymous said...

Amy,

You and Mackenzie looked so beautiful for your sisters wedding. I will never forget witnessing how much Adam loves you. He wasn't sure who you were, but he told me he needed to see you, he needed to talk to you, and he needed to be with you. This was at Neurorestorative when you left town for a few days. Amy if that is not love, then I don't know what is. He lights up when he sees you in such a special way. Your unconditional love for each other filled me with hope. I miss you so very much. Adam loves you so much. His soul knows exactly who you are.

Love,
Jenn in Florida

Anonymous said...

I don't know who "Jenn in Florida" is but I totally agree with her when she wrote that "his soul knows exactly who you are". Well said Jenn in Florida!
Emily Jordan

Anonymous said...

Amy, I have often thought about you and how it must be to miss Adam. Praying praying.

Love, Aunt Gretchen