Listen here Pat, last time I checked my vows said, "Till death do us part", ONLY God determines when that moment is... and according to His Word until He determines that moment, then He is still completing a work in us. He is still at work. This advice wouldn't be surprising coming from anyone in the secular world, but from someone who has been the face of Christianity to so many who might not otherwise see it... come on. I am still heated up about this even a week later. LOVE is a verb, not a feeling. It's a action we have to choose every day to live it out. It's a choice... and as married people, we made that vow the day of our ceremony "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse".
Watching my husband suffer has been the most difficult, painful, heart breaking, challenging, sorrowful thing I have ever been through. I cannot begin to put into words the pain that I feel just about every day. Some days I feel it so much that without God and His grace, I'm sure it would have been the end of me by now. I have never known pain like I have in the last 17 months of my life, but with God in control of it all... I have never known so much joy. When I surrender to His perfect will and we die to myself and to my desires of what I wanted and dreamed of in this life, then and only then God will fill us with immeasurable joy, unspeakable joy... even in the midst of our pain and sorrow. His strength He renews in me daily... for it is not I who can make it through the demands of each day, but God's power and strength in me that allows me to keep pressing on. If this is what it takes for me to remain surrendered and completely dependent on God, not even being able to take my next step without His guidance... then I can't help but rejoice and be glad in it. There is no where else I would rather be than surrendered with my arms high and my heart abandoned.
It saddens me that Pat Robertson doesn't get this... that man that he was giving advice for... his wife's debilitating disease is all apart of God's perfect will for His life, it's part of his journey if he would embrace it rather than run from it... I can only imagine how the Lord can work this in his life for good and I am praying that his eyes will open to that. His wife needs him now more than ever, and my heart breaks for his wife. My heart breaks for the thousands of spouses that have been abandoned by their spouses in the shadow of disease or injuries. Tears are running down my face now thinking of the many faces I have met along this journey, each with a story to tell of how their spouse has walked away, leaving them in their most vulnerable state, when they need their spouse the most.
My advice to the man... be a man's man, fulfill your vow to your wife... allow God's strength to get you through each hour, knowing HIS grace is sufficient. Knowing that if you choose God, He will give you strength and renew it daily, He will never leave you nor forsake you, He will fill you with His peace and joy that is truly indescribable. Another relationship will take away from God's best for you. It might fill a selfish desire, but it will leave you feeling more empty than you have ever been before. God is enough, He is all you need and when you are having a difficult day catering to the exhausting needs and demands of taking care of your loved one... He is carrying you through and will delight in you when you do it unto Him. He has entrusted you to care for one of His beloved daughters, what an amazing privilege and gift that is.
I consider it an honor that God has entrusted me to take care of one of His sons. He chose my man and all that has happened in our journey as His best for both of us. Even in my sorrow, He has brought forth so much joy and laughter that I would have never experienced otherwise... I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. Here I am Lord, "with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all... I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am is Yours" Have your way in me.
I love being home and falling back into life again. Today I rejoined my ladies Bible Study that I had been apart of for a little more than a year before Adam's injury. I love these ladies... I have never been in a Bible study that has 3 generations of women all studying God's Word together. I am so blessed by these ladies who have been so faithful the entire year and a half I have been apart. Amazing women full of encouragement, awesome prayer warriors, and wonderful Titus 2 women. What a blessing it was to rejoin them for their fall study.
Even after another crazy day in the Root house we had some great time with friends...
Adam and Debby with her daughter's dog Einstein
Mark teaching Adam how to goof off
After Mackenzie was in bed and company had left, Adam was hard at work. I love seeing my man in front of a computer and he's typing so well, it's just amazing!