Today I am giving praise that Adam was truly filled with the joy of the Lord. He smiled and laughed all throughout the day, from morning therapy to evening guys Bible study. His face sparkled with the joy of the Lord. His smile means the world to me and when I get to see my kiddo and him laughing together, it's the greatest feeling in the world and there are no words to describe it.
This morning I had to go pick up Adam's medications from UPS and as I was standing there I overheard the clerk behind the counter bragging to one of her customers about how great of man her husband was. My eyes just filled with tears and I couldn't stop them from rolling down my face. I tried not to draw attention to myself, but it was hard not to notice the girl in the UPS store unable to control the tears. My thoughts were all over the place. I loved hearing another woman praise her husband and talk about what a great man he was even though he was no where around. Then my thoughts raced back to my own man and what a great and wonderful man he is. What a blessing it was that I was given more time with my man. How thankful I am that God spared him so that I get to be with the love of my life every day. With all these thoughts, the pain rose too. The deep pain of missing my husband.
By the time I reached the counter she just asked if I was okay, I said I was touched to hear her speak so fondly of her husband. She went on to tell me that they had been married for 35 years and every day was a gift.
Every day is a gift, and every day is filled with so many blessings. Doesn't mean there isn't pain or that we won't feel pain... but I can't allow my pain to take over and be the focus of all that consumes me. I want and try so hard to keep my eyes open to the grace that surrounds me each and every moment of every day. God's grace is all around and that's what I want to consume me.
Philippians 1:20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted
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