Thursday, September 29, 2011

A Full And Blessed Dsy

Well tonight I am getting to go to bed this evening having lived life to the fullest one more day... I just feel so blessed that God has put so many amazing people in our lives and I am blessed enough to call them friends. 

My morning started with Bible study, you can't have a bad day when you get to start it in Bible study.  I love my Bible study ladies and I just love the fellowship they provide, the words of encouragement, the blessing it is to walk life with these ladies. 

After Bilbe study I met up with my good friend Jan.  She offered to choufer me around this aftermoon!!!  So after I grabbed Mackenzie then we were off to get Adam.  Adam just loved playing with Jan's granddaughter.  She was making him laugh, it was so cute.

Then we were invited by our really good friends the LaPiana's to go mini golfing.  It was so awesome!  Mackenzie and Bayden were having such a great time running all over the place and golfing in between.  Bill, Bev, and I helped Adam around the course.  He was unbeliveable and really didn't need too much assistance.  He made it 15 out of 18 holes.  SO AWESOME!!!  He lined the ball up just right, aimed and took so many great shots.  We didn't even have to teach him how to do it, he just knew what to do. 

The entire time I watched Adam golf I was in a trance watching him as he was walking around by himself, putting by himself and even laughing at himself when his ball didn't quite go where he wanted it to... I was in awe of how far God has brought Adam.  A year ago if I would have told Adam's doctors that he would be mini golfing for the most part of his own they would have laughed in my face and told me I needed to come back to the reality of my situation.  I never listened and will never  listen to any negative prognosis... because my man is a walking testimony that doctors don't know everything and our mighty God is the Great Physician who is all knowing, He sees from beginning to the end.  I am grateful for Adam's doctors and all that they did to help, but my God, my Mighty God is the one who has healed and is healing Adam.  He is slowly knitting Him back together one axon at a time.  He has and continues to be the Giver of my hope, the source of my hope and I continue to walk in faith and believe that He is restoring my man.

Psalm 30:11  You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy

Mackenzie, Adam, and Bayden

Bill showing Adam where to aim

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Blessings In The Gift of Today

Today I am giving praise that Adam was truly filled with the joy of the Lord.  He smiled and laughed all throughout the day, from morning therapy to evening guys Bible study.  His face sparkled with the joy of the Lord.  His smile means the world to me and when I get to see my kiddo and him laughing together, it's the greatest feeling in the world and there are no words to describe it.

This morning I had to go pick up Adam's medications from UPS and as I was standing there I overheard the clerk behind the counter bragging to one of her customers about how great of man her husband was.  My eyes just filled with tears and I couldn't stop them from rolling down my face.  I tried not to draw attention to myself, but it was hard not to notice the girl in the UPS store unable to control the tears.  My thoughts were all over the place.  I loved hearing another woman praise her husband and talk about what a great man he was even though he was no where around.  Then my thoughts raced back to my own man and what a great and wonderful man he is.  What a blessing it was that I was given more time with my man.  How thankful I am that God spared him so that I get to be with the love of my life every day.  With all these thoughts, the pain rose too.  The deep pain of missing my husband. 

By the time I reached the counter she just asked if I was okay, I said I was touched to hear her speak so fondly of her husband.  She went on to tell me that they had been married for 35 years and every day was a gift. 

Every day is a gift, and every day is filled with so many blessings.  Doesn't mean there isn't pain or that we won't feel pain... but I can't allow my pain to take over and be the focus of all that consumes me.  I want and try so hard to keep my eyes open to the grace that surrounds me each and every moment of every day.  God's grace is all around and that's what I want to consume me.

Philippians 1:20 I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted

Monday, September 26, 2011

Friends and Family

This weekend has been a busy weekend for us, but lots of fun.  We spent the weekend with friends and family.  Adam's parents flew in on Sunday and we've had an awesome time visiting with them.  His parents left this evening to go to a conference in Virginia for the next couple of days and then are coming back towards the end of the week for a few more days!  It's been fun getting out and about with them and Adam!  It's so nice being home and not having to ask a facility permission to go somewhere with my man.  I have to say I think he's enjoying his freedom too!  God is so good and to Him all glory is due!
Cookie, Adam, & Jack

Mackenzie, Cookie, Adam, Jack, & Me

Scott and Stacy

John and Courtnie

Mackenzie, Me, John, Courtnie, and Adam

Cookie and I

Adam goofing off in a Crakel Barrel

Adam and I

Jeremiah 32:17  Ah Lord God! It is you who made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.

Nothing is to difficult for the Mighty God we serve... I still believe with all my heart that Adam will be restored, that God will heal Him beyond what I could ever imagine.  I am watching God work daily miracles in my man and I continue to boldly approach the Throne of Grace with confidence asking God to continue to have His way in my man's recovery and in my heart.  Please don't ever give up praying for my man.  Please don't ever give up asking God for my man's FULL healing.  Your prayers are working and it's been amazing to see God at work in my man EVERY day.  Praise the Lord with me for all that He has done in my man's healing, all that He is doing this moment, and all that is still yet to come.  Just praise Him.  Praise for what He is doing in your life.  Being thankful truly will provide contentment no matter the circumstances.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Mackenzie's Song

My super talented daughter is a gifted song writer and has a beautiful voice... yesterday we were driving along in the car and she just started freely singing.  I knew it was just something she was singing, but it was so beautiful.  I said to her "Mackenzie I LOVE that song".  She seemed startled, so I could tell she was singing what was on her heart and wasn't even aware of all that she was singing.  I asked if she would write the song down before she forgot it.

As she wrote the song down she said to me... "mom, this place isn't really our 'home'", I responded "no honey, heaven will be our home, I just wish it didn't take so long to get there."  As we continued driving she finished writing... here's what she wrote...

Why am I here, oh Lord, why am I here?
What do you have me here to do?
Oh Lord

Oh Lord, take me home, take me home
After all I have seen
After all I've heard
After all that I have been through
Take me home

Let me come, let me come
To the presence of Him
Oh to Your presence

Sound the Drum, sound the drum
Why am I here
I don't belong
Oh Lord, I belong with You.

I just absolutely love this... and to hear her sing it yesterday was something from heaven.  I asked her to sing it tonight and she said she couldn't remember.  Truly the Lord's anointing is upon her.

Like she said, this isn't our home, our eyes should be fixed up.  For this is temporary.  Philippians 3:20 says "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ"  Ephesians 2:19 says "Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household"

My kid is amazing, very insightful and this just leaves me speechless.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Standing For The Covenant Vows

Last Thursday, Pat Robertson, Christian Broadcasting Network's Founder and CEO of the 700 Club...  responded to a viewer, that divorce from a spouse from a debilitating disease is okay.  Went on to say "I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again"  I can't even begin to tell you or explain to the gut wrenching feeling I had in my stomach from hearing such horrific advice.  Not only is it not right... IT'S NOT BIBLICAL.

Listen here Pat, last time I checked my vows said, "Till death do us part", ONLY God determines when that moment is... and according to His Word until He determines that moment, then He is still completing a work in us.  He is still at work.  This advice wouldn't be surprising coming from anyone in the secular world, but from someone who has been the face of Christianity to so many who might not otherwise see it... come on.  I am still heated up about this even a week later.  LOVE is a verb, not a feeling.  It's a action we have to choose every day to live it out.  It's a choice... and as married people, we made that vow the day of our ceremony "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse". 

Watching my husband suffer has been the most difficult, painful, heart breaking, challenging, sorrowful thing I have ever been through.  I cannot begin to put into words the pain that I feel just about every day. Some days I feel it so much that without God and His grace, I'm sure it would have been the end of me by now.  I have never known pain like I have in the last 17 months of my life, but with God in control of it all... I have never known so much joy.  When I surrender to His perfect will and we die to myself and to my desires of what I wanted and dreamed of in this life, then and only then God will fill us with immeasurable joy, unspeakable joy... even in the midst of our pain and sorrow.  His strength He renews in me daily... for it is not I who can make it through the demands of each day, but God's power and strength in me that allows me to keep pressing on.  If this is what it takes for me to remain surrendered and completely dependent on God, not even being able to take my next step without His guidance... then I can't help but rejoice and be glad in it.  There is no where else I would rather be than surrendered with my arms high and my heart abandoned.

It saddens me that Pat Robertson doesn't get this... that man that he was giving advice for... his wife's debilitating disease is all apart of God's perfect will for His life, it's part of his journey if he would embrace it rather than run from it...  I can only imagine how the Lord can work this in his life for good and I am praying that his eyes will open to that.  His wife needs him now more than ever, and my heart breaks for his wife.  My heart breaks for the thousands of spouses that have been abandoned by their spouses in the shadow of disease or injuries.  Tears are running down my face now thinking of the many faces I have met along this journey, each with a story to tell of how their spouse has walked away, leaving them in their most vulnerable state, when they need their spouse the most. 

My advice to the man... be a man's man, fulfill your vow to your wife... allow God's strength to get you through each hour, knowing HIS grace is sufficient.  Knowing that if you choose God, He will give you strength and renew it daily, He will never leave you nor forsake you, He will fill you with His peace and joy that is truly indescribable.  Another relationship will take away from God's best for you.  It might fill a selfish desire, but it will leave you feeling more empty than you have ever been before.  God is enough, He is all you need and when you are having a difficult day catering to the exhausting needs and demands of taking care of your loved one... He is carrying you through and will delight in you when you do it unto Him.  He has entrusted you to care for one of His beloved daughters, what an amazing privilege and gift that is.

I consider it an honor that God has entrusted me to take care of one of His sons.  He chose my man and all that has happened in our journey as His best for both of us.  Even in my sorrow, He has brought forth so much joy and laughter that I would have never experienced otherwise... I wouldn't trade this journey for anything.  Here I am Lord, "with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all... I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am is Yours" Have your way in me.

I love being home and falling back into life again.  Today I rejoined my ladies Bible Study that I had been apart of for a little more than a year before Adam's injury.  I love these ladies... I have never been in a Bible study that has 3 generations of women all studying God's Word together.  I am so blessed by these ladies who have been so faithful the entire year and a half I have been apart.  Amazing women full of encouragement, awesome prayer warriors, and wonderful Titus 2 women.  What a blessing it was to rejoin them for their fall study. 

Even after another crazy day in the Root house we had some great time with friends...
Adam and Debby with her daughter's dog Einstein

Mark teaching Adam how to goof off

After Mackenzie was in bed and company had left, Adam was hard at work.  I love seeing my man in front of a computer and he's typing so well, it's just amazing!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tears, Thank You

Thank you all so much for all your sweet comments... tears... tears.  As I read the comments to Adam I found myself having to pause several times from being choked up and teary.  You all are amazing and we are so blessed that you all have and continue to walk this journey with us.

Hopefully by tomorrow I can catch my breath a little to share the things on my mind... the last couple of days have been a little crazy (a good crazy, just busy) and now that things are settling down finally I will be able to share with you all an update, along with other things on my mind.

Again, I can't thank you all enough for all your support, we love you guys.

Monday, September 19, 2011


Revelation 21:5  He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."


I love the way my man makes me laugh

My beautiful, amazing kiddo
Our photographers, Scott & Stacy

Back together again!!!

Finally, we're back home and after much prayer, I have decided to use the blog for what it was intentionally used for before Adam's injury. We had always used this as our family blog, a place to post our family's adventures! This is a new beginning and a testimony to the miracle that my man is. God is restoring my man, one cell, one neuron, one axon at a time... what a mighty God we serve. TO HIM ALL GLORY!!!

Please continue to pray for my man's FULL restoration, FULL healing... it's only a matter of time!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Enjoying A Visit

We're getting to visit tonight and have a sleep over with Adam's cousing Hailey who happens to be in town visiting!  So we'll update again tomorrow.  Enjoying our company this evening.

Friday, September 16, 2011

My God IS Bigger

A couple of days ago, I mentioned an article that ran in our local paper.  This article just frustrated me as it illustrated the "benefits" of living together rather than a covenant vow, this particle was featuring a couple in their 80's. 

For the past 4 years I have been extremely passionate about one particular chapter of the Bible... Titus 2.  To paraphrase, it talks about the older, wiser ones of the church to mentor the younger generation.  Having mentors in marriage, in parenting, in spiritual growth... is crucial to our growth.

Titus 2:3-5  Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Shortly after Adam and I got married, I craved a Godly example of marriage.  I wanted to see a relationship that was Christ centered, thriving and growing more passionately about God and about their spouse.  I did not grow up in a house that set this as an example, in fact much of the opposite, my parents (before they divorced) really despised one another.  Like me, many of my friends grew up without a biblical example of marriage... I can speak for several of my close friends, we want the wiser women of the church to mentor us.  We want to see their marriages growing and thriving in God... we want to know how we can grow in that as well.  So I prayed that God would bring Titus 2 women into my life.  He is so faithful, God has blessed me with AMAZING Titus 2 women.  Women that I admire their walks with the Lord, their marriages, and I cherish their wisdom they share with me.

I can't remember if I mentioned this before, but about 3 months after Adam and I were married I stated what I call my "Love Notebook", Adam would always refer to it as my diary.  I personally never saw it as a diary, and those who know me, I have shared my notebook with you. I would print off articles, cut out articles, any little stories I could find that I knew help me in growing and becoming a Godly wife.  I would categorize them and file them in my notebook, often rereading them.  Every letter or note my man wrote me is found in my love notebook.  Many of my written prayers for my marriage are in this book.  And anything special that God has revealed to me and shared with me about marriage is kept in it as well.  This has really helped me to grow and keep my thoughts focused on God's view of marriage. 

About a year before Adam's injury, my best friend Debbie (who by the way also has a love notebook) and I decided to interview women we saw to be Titus 2 women.  We sat down with many ladies married 25 years or more and asked them questions regarding their faith, their marriages, and life.  I cherish my notes from each of these ladies and reread our interviews through many times.  The wisdom that I have gleaned through these interviews is one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me.

I do encourage you, whether male or female... seek out a Titus 2 mentor.  There is so much that God will reveal to you through their wisdom.


I'm sorry I haven't been good about blogging this week, it's been one CRAZY week!  Let me start with Wednesday... Adam's team at work (his real job prior to his injury) asked if he would be up for stopping in for a visit.  We scheduled it for Wednesday since Adam was going to miss therapy due to a doctor's appointment.  We were so blessed that so many of them have been keeping up on our blog and following Adam's amazing road to recovery!  His lead also presented him with Adam's 5 year award, so that was really special.  Adam also sat in and had lunch with his coworkers just like he had always done before.  Thanks everyone, we had a great time!

Next it was off to UNC to see Dr. Ewend, Adam's neurosurgeon.  I think he was pretty surprised to see how far Adam has come.  He followed every command he was asked to do and answered all of their questions.  It was neat to see such a joyful expression on Dr. Ewend's face.  Adam also was cleared by Dr. Ewend to only have to go on an as needed basis.  Adam is stable and doing so amazing, there is no need for ongoing visits.

After his appointment it was time for a walk down memory lane... we headed towards the ICU where Adam spent a little more than 4 months.  Since he is walking so well, I asked if he wanted to walk to meet his doctors and nurses or be pushed in his chair... he said walk and I could not have agreed more.  In we went, Adam walked into the ICU to be greated with disbelieving looks, tears of joy, and unforgettable reactions.  It was emotional and amazing!  Adam shook hands with his doctors, hugged his nurses and blew everyone away!  TO GOD BE THE GLORY, MY GOD IS BIGGER... SEE!!!!

And today, we ended our week with an appointment Adam's neurophsycolgist who was astonished the amount of progress Adam has made in 4 weeks since our last visit.  Adam had to complete a test and 4 weeks ago he scored 32 out of 100 and today he scored 67... he doubled his score which the doctor said and I quote "unbeliveable".  AMAZING, my man is amazing!!!

I am rejoicing in the week and thanking the good Lord for all that He has done this week.  To Him all the glory and honor is due.  He is so worthy.

Must Have Been Tired

So I woke up this morning laptop next to me... I fell asleep blogging last night, which is why it never got posted.  Thought you would all enjoy that.  After I take Mackenzie and Adam, I will finish the post and post.

Still laughing.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Stay Tuned

We had such a full and amazing day... I can't wait to share it with you all!!!  Unfortuatunely it will have to wait till tomorrow, because our day was so full, we are all exhausted tired and in bed.  Stay tuned.

For now I have a kiddo who I need to go cuddle with and call it a night.

Can't wait to share!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Commitment, Trust, and God's Best

For my Raleigh (and near by area) friend, did anyone else see the article on the first page of the Life, ect. column today... it was titled "Unwed and Unworried"?  I was appalled reading it, the article features an 85 year old man and an 82 year old woman living together and the "benefits" of cohabitating rather than making a covenant vow.  For those who don't know me, but have been following the blog and those I do know... ya'll know that I am passionate about marriage, God's view of marriage, and what the Bible has to say about marriage.  This article went on to state statistics of both senior citzens as well as facts about those living together according to the 2010 census.

First I want to address the living together factor...  (I will address the other factors in the article tomorrow and if necessary another day as well)

•More than eight out of ten couples who live together will break up either before the wedding or afterwards in divorce.

•About 45 percent of those who begin cohabiting, do not marry. Another 5-10 percent continue living together and do not marry.

•Couples who do marry after living together are 50% more likely to divorce than those who did not.

•Only 12 percent of couples who have begun their relationship with cohabitation end up with a marriage lasting 10 years or more.

•A Penn State study reports that even a month’s cohabitation decreases the quality of the couple’s relationship.

When we are committed and follow God's way, we get to experience His best.  His plan for marriage is amazing, when we uphold our vows, knowing that we didn't just make the vow to our spouse, but before the Lord and to Him as well.  After all my spouse was made in the image of God and has Christ residing in him as well.  We need to pray that God will give us the eyes to see our spouse they way God sees them.

Part of this below comes from another article I found on commitment and trust, mixed with my thoughts and what my Bible says about commitment, trust, and marriage.

One of the traditional marriage ceremonies includes the expression, "till death do us part." Although many young people today disdain this notion, it is absolutely vital that every marriage be built on this understanding. As we have seen, it is God who ordained marriage. It is Jesus Christ who said, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Matthew 19:6, KJV). Although modern psychologists, counselors and even many professing Christian ministers seem anxious to provide married people with all kinds of "escape hatches," God does not! Yes, "sexual immorality" (porneia in the Greek) is a God-acknowledged ground for divorce. But it is God's expressed will that marriage be a life-long commitment! Notice this key passage in God's revelation to mankind: "And this is the second thing you do; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. 'For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence,' says the Lord of hosts. 'Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously'" (Malachi 2:13–16).

In the above verses, God speaks of marriage being a "covenant" relationship. He shows that one of the purposes of marriage is to produce "godly offspring." Obviously, a stable and loving relationship is necessary in order to provide this. Three times in this passage, God speaks of one behaving "treacherously" and breaking up a marriage.

For, among other things, marriage is a "test." It is a test to see how loyal you will be to God's instruction regarding marriage and to your mate with whom you share this sanctified relationship. How much will you "give" of yourself to this other human being? How much will you be patient, kind and humble in order to make it work? Additionally, God says that He "hates" divorce (v. 16). God does not hate divorced people, but He despises the selfishness, the lust, the vanity, the self-centeredness and the "treachery" that is nearly always present when marriage is ruptured by divorce.

The powerful, God-inspired teaching of the Apostle Paul must be taken into account in every marriage: "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Ephesians 5:22–25). These verses clearly show that marriage is a type of the relationship between Christ and the Church. The relationship is one of total submission to one another and to the will of God. It is to be a lasting relationship—lasting "till death do us part." It is to picture the love, the total out-flowing concern and the resulting trust and stability that exists between Christ and His true Church.

I just love how the Bible CLEARLY lays out God's design and purpose of marriage... when we follow God's ways, we WILL experience God's best.

I just love my man... He continues to grow stronger and stronger everyday.  His left ankle is starting to come down some and he's not just walking on his tippy toes.  Please continue to pray for his muscles in his legs so that he can come down on his heals without having to under go surgery.  Adam seems to really like his "job" and his endurance is amazing.  He continues to fight with everything he has to overcome his injury and perservere no matter the odds.  Adam has docotors appointments with doctors at UNC who haven't seen him in over a year, won't they just fall over when they see my man and what a mighty God we serve, to Him be the glory for where we are today!  He is so worthy of ALL our praise and honor.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Power In Giving Thanks

As I continue to work on my list of all the things I am thankful (there is so much to be thankful for), one thing that made my list for sure, was weekends and getting a few more hours of sleep! 

Giving thanks in my difficult moments helps me to keep my focus on the amazing miracles and the many ways God has provided for our family.  It takes my focus from what's missing to the many blessings.  I was talking with a close friend today who mentioned to me that there were moments over the last few days where she felt annoyed and frustrated with her husband and she said she shifted her focus to the many qualities she is so grateful for.  She said once she shifted her focus, it's amazing how much contentment she has felt and the love she feels for her man.  There is so much power in keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus and what we have to be thankful for.  Philippians 4:8 says "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

I am giving thanks for how for God has brought my man!  This week Adam started transferring himself to and from the car to his wheelchair!  Every day Adam is getting stronger and more independent.  I am so proud of him.  I love that God is so faithful and so amazing that He continues to have His hand upon Adam's healing so that we can see new things all the time.  Praise the Lord for all that He has done!  My man was told he would never speak again, or understand language... he's talking and able to process and understand, my man was told that he most likely wouldn't walk again... he's walking, my man was told that he would always need 24 hour nursing and most likely never be able to live at home... my man needs no regular nursing care and is living at home!  My man was told that he would always need maximum assistance of 2 people for his transfers... today he transferred himself in and out of the car multiple times!  We serve a mighty God, who is doing mighty things in my man's healing!  There is so much to be thankful for.

P.S.  Congratulations to our good friend Matt Ciancarelli for completing the Iron Man race today!  We are so proud of you!!! 

Friday, September 9, 2011

From Sorrow To Contentment

Mackenzie and I with the Barr family while they visited us in Florida

A couple of weeks ago I called one of  Adam's coworker's also named Adam (for the sake of keeping them straight I am going to put AdamB for him)...  AdamB came to Boston and he and his family also visited us while we were in Orlando, Fl.  Not having known AdamB prior to Adam's injury, I know God gave us our visits with him and his family in Boston and Florida as a way to build a relationship so that I could ask AdamB for help in my Adam's recovery in ways no one else could help my Adam.  Anyway, back to our phone conversation... I called AdamB to see if he would be willing to program with my Adam.  (For those who don't know us personally, my Adam has been a computer programmer for quite some time, he eats, sleeps, and breaths programming prior to his injury).  No one else could really tap into that area of Adam's life like AdamB could.  AdamB blessed us by agreeing to spend time with Adam tapping into that part of my Adam's world.

So tonight, we headed over to spend the evening with the Barr family.  Isn't it amazing how the Lord provides brothers and sisters in Christ... you don't have to know them for very long, yet you feel like you're old friends right away.  I just love that!  We had such a great time, Adam programmed with AdamB, Mackenzie played outside with the kiddos riding bikes and scooters, and Margaret (AdamB's wife) and I sat outside watching the kids talking about what a mighty God we serve and how amazing and steadfast His love is.

AdamB and Margaret asked me a question that made me realize I might not have come off as transparent as I would have liked.  They asked me if now that we're home if we're able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I don't believe I am ever looking for the end of the tunnel, I'm still trying so hard to stay in the moment and keep my eyes focused on all the miracles God has already performed.  The transparency comes now... I eluded earlier this week to having some tearful, sorrowful moments.  Being home with my man is amazing and I am so blessed.  It has also given me the first chance to reflect on our journey and with that I am experiencing feelings I haven't had time to process until now. 

Until now, we have been from one crisis to the next... but now having him home, I am feeling every emotion of the last 16 months.  It has been very difficult and I have experienced some deep pain from the sorrow my heart feels... I have also rejoiced and have had joy from truly knowing we're home which is such a miracle in and of itself.  I love the promise that Revelation 7:17 says For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."  Isaiah 25:8 says he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The Lord has spoken.

This journey has been and will continue to be a whirlwind of emotions and feelings, but the one constant that I know and even puts a smile on my face now as I type... God loves me, He loves me, He loves, He loves me... He loves me enough to call me His beloved.  He loves me enough to wipe away my tears, He loves me enough to provide all that I need, He loves me enough to show me each and every day how much I mean to Him.  The Lord's love is unchanging, the only thing that changes, is our ability to receive His love.  I pray all the time that He will increase my faith so that I may experience His love in new ways.  He has been so faithful to answer these cries of my heart regularly.  He truly is worthy of all my praise.  I would endure all this suffering from the beginning again to experience Christ's love the way that I experience it and encounter it daily... it truly is worth it all.   

On days when I am just down and out, missing my man so much, missing my best friend, my husband, my lover... I need to shift my focus from what I'm missing to all that I am thankful for.  Because God is enough, His grace is enough... and when I keep my eyes fixed on Him, the blessings He has poured out on us, and give thanks to Him for all that He has done, all that He is doing and all that is still yet to come... there is so much contentment.  Contentment even in the midst of sorrow and pain.  Having had this conversation with AdamB and a similar one with Dr. Patrick (my chiropractor) I feel challenged to write a new list of all that I am thankful for.  I was doing this regularly for awhile to remain content, but haven't done it in awhile... so this weekend I am going to take some time to reflect, and sit in the presence of my sweet Jesus and just give thanks. 

Keep staying tuned for that surprise I was telling you about... hopefully it will be shared in the next few days.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

My Man Is Amazing, My God is Even More So

Do you ever feel like, if one more thing falls onto your already seemingly impossible load, it might break you?  I have felt this way on more than one occasion, today just feeling so overwhelmed by all that my life's journey was demanding.  Being teary eyed most of the day and just having a day where nothing seems to be what it should be.  I just wanted to wallow in my sorrow and not talk to anyone... but then my sweet husband could tell I was not myself last night and prayed "Jesus please help, please Jesus, help our love and my lady"  Don't you love that!!!  This was the first time I have heard Adam pray for us and for me!  I just love how incredible my man is!  He's amazing!

We have been so busy the last few days that my head feels like it's spinning trying to keep up.  And I am really sorry, but tonight is a short update because it's nearing 11pm and my alarm is going off in a few hours.

Adam's days at Learning Services are going amazing!!!  I stopped by the Brain Injury Association of NC today and Shawn who has always been an amazing support and a HUGE help to our family, couldn't believe that Adam got into Learning Services, he was in shock, I took it as, another sign that God is in total control of Adam's journey.  He seems to open impossible doors, because our God is a God of the impossible.  What a blessing and an incredible reminder that He is so sovereign.

Well, I'm sorry this was so brief, I feel like I have so much more to say, but I'm too tired to think clearly.  I'll try again tomorrow.  Be on the look out for something amazing to be hitting the blog soon!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Happy Pumpkin Spice Day!!!

I count down every year for the return of pumpkin spice!  Today was the day!!!  Happy Pumpkin Spice Day!!! Definently worth giving thanks for, I am so thankful for this simple pleasure.  I am so thankful for the solace a cup of coffee can provide.

My days are a little crazy, here's an idea of my day, wake up at 4am, get myself ready, Adam ready, Mackenzie ready, cook breakfast, make lunches, prep dinner, dirve Mackenzie to school, take Adam to work.. on days I don't stay with him in therapies, that leaves me with 3 and half hours to pay bills, run errands, clean house, squeeze in a chiroprator appointment, house hunt (we are looking for a home).  Then it's off to pick up Mackenzie, get Adam, do homework, carry over any therapies, make dinner, and start our bedtime routine.  This is just a genaric day... then you add on a tired husband and a kiddo who came down with a cold and it's a recipe for exhaustion.  Thankfully my day started in the Word and often ends in the Word... and today it had a pumpkin spice latte inbetween..., I must say, I am quite content!

Adam had a great day today, when I got there to pick him up, he was in the middle of playing UNO, which has become one of our favorite games at home to play since Adam does so well.  I asked if he was ready to go and he said "no"!!! Such a good sign!!!  He said he wanted to finish his game.  He had a great day in therapies, he is such a hard worker and perserveres through so much.  I love that this is a quality that everyone who works with Adam can see.  He has amazing work ethic and even now it still proves to be embeded within him.  Such an admirable quality.  I just love my man!

Please pray for our household, Mackenzie has a cold, pray that it passes quickly and that she will keep it to herself and not share with Adam.  Thank you for your prayers, we see them being answered every day.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

The Lord Provides All That We Need... All We Need Is HIM

This weekend has been a little bit of a gift to Adam and I... Mackenzie was invited to go to Virginia for the weekend with Bob and Connie to visit Christina and her family... Mackenzie couldn't wait to see the girls.  Abigail turned one this week and Mackenzie made her the sweetest coloring book for her birthday. 

While Mackenzie has been enjoying herself and having a ball spending time with family and even squeezing in a trip to Busch Gardens, Adam and I have had some awesome time together.  Last night we went over to Scott and Stacy's for dinner and games which was so much fun... and today after running some errands we met up with 2 people from UNC that had a tremendous impact in Adam's journey.  It was so awesome to get out and have fun and to introduce Adam to those who have had an incredible impact on his recovery.  We also ran into one of Adam's ICU nurses while we were out and about running errands.  It has been such a blessing and an incredible testimony of God's mighty hand when I see their reactions to how well Adam is doing and how amazing he looks!

Isn't it amazing how God works... today started with me just being sad., missing Adam so much.  Just an hour before heading out to run errands, I was in tears on my knees still boldly approaching the throne begging for my man's healing to continue.   In this time I just poured my heart out to the Lord about  of how much this journey feels like too much, how much I miss my husband, how much I miss my best friend,... the tears just flowed.  I was under a time crunch to run my errands so I had to pull myself together and head out the door. 

Within 2 hours God brought Adam's ICU nurse and the other two from UNC... it helped switch my focus to see how far Adam has come and how miraculous God is in all that He has already done in Adam's recovery.  He sweetly and gently reminded me that He is the reason Adam is still here, He is the reason Adam is speaking and understanding language, that He is the reason Adam is walking, that He is the reason Adam is able to do so much for himself... that HE IS.  He is the King of kings and the Lord of lords, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, He is all knowing, all present, He is sovereign, He is the I Am.  He is worthy of all my praise and to Him ALL glory is due... God is in control and He still is holding Adam in the palm of His mighty and capable hands.

What I realized through this... is that He has not let go of me... that I too am still resting in the palm of His hand.  That is where I need to be, because HE is ALL I need.  1 John 3:1  See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Made From A Rib

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve.

The story above was just to be a little light and funny story...

As a mom, there is no greater joy for me than to hear my little girl share her faith and knowledge of the Word.  I love listening to her speak with passion about the sacred Word of God.  This evening I had the great joy of listening to my daughter share with her friends that God made woman out of man's rib.  She then went on to share the biblical story about Adam and Eve and the importance of the helpmate and that it wasn't good for man to be alone.  It was so sweet to hear her as she shared the Word of God and was so accurate while sharing the light!    All the while, she had no idea that I was listening or could hear her... I have one amazing kiddo! 

Mackenzie was sharing the biblical reference to Genesis 2:21-24 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Matthew Henry's commentary has some amazing comments regarding this passage... "The man was dust refined, but the woman was dust double-refined, one remove further from the earth. 2. That Adam slept while his wife was in making, that no room might be left to imagine that he had herein directed the Spirit of the Lord, or been his counsellor. He had been made sensible of his want of a meet help; but, God having undertaken to provide him one, he does not afflict himself with any care about it, but lies down and sleeps sweetly, as one that had cast all his care on God, with a cheerful resignation of himself and all his affairs to his Maker’s will and wisdom. Jehovah-jireh, let the Lord provide when and whom he pleases. If we graciously rest in God, God will graciously work for us and work all for good. "

Matthew Henry also goes on to write "That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved."  Don't you just love this!  I love this picture.

I take so much pleasure in my role as my man's wife!  I love being his helpmate, I love being loved by my man!  I love that my man has always taken this passage so serious, he is an amazing protector, and has loved me so much to keep our marriage number 2 on his priority list.  Second only to his relationship with his Savior.  I do have an amazing man!  I love him so much and every day I am blessed to hear him say those words to me... what a miracle it is!!!

Well, we survived!!! Our first full week of school and Adam's first full week of work, we might be tired and a little worn out, but we survived a whole week of a schedule and routine that seemed impossible, even if you were jolted by caffeine... but we made it, and on very little caffeine (only consumed by me, and on a good day I would be able to get my only cup of coffee in before 2pm).  Thanks for your prayers regarding our insane and busy schedule, we have needed it!  We are all looking forward to the long weekend and some R&R!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Glory To The Mighty God We Serve!

Psalm 86:9  All nations whom thou hast made shall come and worship before thee, O Lord; And they shall glorify thy name.

I don't even know where to begin today's post... all I can say is GLORY TO GOD!!!  Adam has had an amazing day!!!  It's not that he preformed well in therapies (he did amazing!!!), but it's that he's initiate so many conversations and has been so alert and bright today.  He joked around with me, teased me... he made me laugh all day.  He's even said my name so many times today!  Glory to God for the miracles today.  It's been an amazing day with my man.  Funny story... This afternoon we were getting ready to leave Learning Services and on the way to the car I told Adam how awesome it was that he had such a good day and that I thought he should celebrate with a Blizzard from Dairy Queen (one of Adam's favorite treats), he quickly agreed.  As we were in the car , pulling out of the driveway of Learning Services he said "Why are we leaving without my blizzard?!!!"  It was so funny!  I let him know we had to go to Dairy Queen and get it.

Adam continued therapies with several tests and evaluations... at one point he was working with the speech therapist in the therapy office and I was sitting in the living room on a couch when I over heard Adam's physical therapist and occupational therapist talking about Adam, the PT said she was amazed, and really surprised that Adam was doing all the things he was doing.  She couldn't believe how different he was in person than what she had read about him in his therapy notes.  She was just astonished that he was able to do so much for himself and complete every task she had asked.  It was so cool, to hear such positive remarks and excitement in their voices as they discussed the things they want to try with Adam.  My man is amazing, but Glory to God for how far He has brought my man!!!

When I asked Adam if he could wake up tomorrow and have another amazing day he said, "I sure hope so!"  I'm not just hoping so, I'm praying so... I am praying that this is the beginning of another breakthrough in Adam's recovery, I'm praying that EVERY DAY Adam will make the medical minds wonder about the amazing and mighty God we serve.  Please continue to pray for my man's FULL recovery, God is hearing your faithful cries, and He sees your faith and is touching my man through your prayers and faith... thank you!

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