Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Choosing Friends Wisely

Well today was our last day of summer vacation... I love summer vacation and I am sad to see it go.  We celebrated one of my dear sisters birthdays today... Christina, Bob and Connie's daughter was in town from Virginia and today was her birthday!  So along with her two young daughters we all celebrated.  It was a great day.  Christina's youngest daughter is just under 1 years old and was so sweet to let Adam hold her and play with her.  Adam just lights up and is so animated around young kids.  I love watching him enjoy their company and talk with them.  Mackenzie loves being around family and around her two cousins... she just loves helping Christina and playing with the girls.  Adam, Mackenzie, and I had a very relaxing last day of summer vacation.

Please keep Mackenzie in your prayers tomorrow as she embarks on her new journey of middle school.  Please pray for friends for her to connect with and that she will choose her friends wisely, please pray that she will find favor in her teachers eyes.  Please pray that the homework will be manageable.  Mackenzie is so nervous. Thank you for praying for my kiddo.

Tonight, I want to speak to the wives... how many times have you listened to a friend complain about her husband and you chimed in or agreed with her? How many times have you gone to a friend a complained to them about your husband and didn't want advice, but sympathy?  As women we need to be the nurtures that God created us to be.  We need to nurture our marriages.  How many times have you challenged your close friends to step up and be the wife that God designed them to be?

If you and your husband are having some "intense fellowship" (for those of you who don't know me, this is my term for arguments or disagreements) take it to the Lord and lay at his feet, talk to Him first before you even think about picking up the phone to vent to a girlfriend.  When I have taken my "intense fellowship" topics to God, more times than not He has revealed sin in my own heart that has caused the disagreement.  He has shown me where I need to repent.

Ladies, take a stand... make an effort to not say anything negative about husband.  When you are in a conversation where one might be talking about their husband in a negative manner, if you feel led to say something, encourage your sister to find the positive, to focus on Jesus and His passion for their marriage.  If you don't feel comfortable to say something... try this... WALK AWAY.  I'm not saying don't have compassion of course have compassion, I'm just encouraging you to take a stand.  When a friend will come and seek advice on a marriage issue, I will listen and then take it to prayer with them. 
The Bible says that "A friend loves at all times" Proverbs 17:17 Are you showing love to your friends and respecting and being supportive in their marriage relationships? Maybe your friends don’t have good marriages. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t be a supportive and prayerful friend who pokes holes in the darkness, by the way you talk and live out Christ in your interactions with them. 

True story... several years ago I was involved in a bible study where when several ladies wanted a venting session on how immature their husbands were, they brought it up at prayer time as a prayer request and then that would spur a toxic discussion on men and their "incompentence" (their words not mine)... this would infuriate me.  I ended up leaving the study, but one thing it taught me was to watch how I talked about Adam.  I am by no means telling you to fake it and pretend things are okay if they are not... I have one close friend, and a mentor who I have asked to for accountability in this area.  If I needed prayer for my marriage or if there was intense fellowship that I felt I needed advice on, I first and foremost go to God and ask Him to search my heart.  If I still feel like I need guidance or counsel, I go to my accountability partners who will kindly and wisely point out where I need to approve or even tell me how silly I am being.  This is what works for me.  "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses" Proverbs 27:5-6 That means that a friend won’t be false and pretend things are all right when they aren’t. They will openly and respectfully love their friend enough to risk their friendship and help their friend.

My prayer for you ladies tonight is to take a stand for your man and your marriage, encourage and build up your man do not tear him down.  My prayer is that you too will choose your friends wisely.  My prayer is that you will be wise woman... the Bible says The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. (Proverbs 14:1)  My prayer is that you will seek God first all the time no matter the circumstance.


Anonymous said...

AMEN. Amy, AMEN!!!!! My sweetie and I celebrate 33rd anniversary this coming Friday. I by no means, have this "Don't talk about my husband" down pat, BUT I will say,when I do, I am giving arrows to the enemy to shoot him down. I have asked Father to put His arm around me and His hand over my mouth MANY TIMES. I love you, and continue to trust Father for you, Adam, and Mackenzie. By the way, Father has some stellar friends picked out for Mackenzie. It will be exciting to hear once she meets them. Marion

Adam & Amy Root said...

Marion... we share your anniversary!!! Adam and I will be celebrating 4 years this Friday the 26th!!!

waytojo said...

Sing it Sistah!!! Your Marriage is a garden. You need to tend to it at all times. It requires mending all the fences around it. You need to keep the deers out and heal the blight within.

I am so thankful for your Marriage with Adam. To this day I can picture your passion for him in the hallways of Spaulding. Your face spoke volumes of love. Your garden is in full bloom and is so very fragrant and lovely.

Yesterday the Holy Spirit nudged me to "one more thing" with Wes and so I went to the closet and pulled out the styrofoam swords you gave us. My friend Katherine worked with him to "bring your sword downward to touch mine." Wes comprehended and did it three times in front of his nurses. It was a good day!!

The north shore of Boston misses you and your family. Of coarse we will be praying for Mackenzie and her entry into Middle School. Some new bands she might like are: City Harmonic, Big Kettle Drum, Tenth Avenue North and Caleb.

Love you!! jo evans

Anonymous said...

How much fun is that!!!!I will always remember your anniversary!!:) hugs, Marion

Anonymous said...

Happy ANniversary AMy and Adam and Marion and your sweetie!! August is a great month for marriages! Wayne and I celebrated our 35th on the beach Sunday night..Aug. 14th with our 4 kids and their spouses. We renewed our vows under God's beautiful sky looking out on the glistening ocean....and it was a night to remember. I needed lots of tissues :) as I tried to say my vows to Wayne. I do treasure this wonderful man God gave me AND the sweet words of blessing from each of our kids concering our marriage was an amazing gift from God! The faithfulness and goodness of the LORD is beyond words. He is our husband and we His church are his cherished bride. Amy thanks again for your Holy Spirit lead encouragement for the wives who read this blog. I've sent your post occassionally to help a hurting and discouraged wife. A thankful heart is your precious gift to those of us who pray and follow your family's journey daily!
Again, may God make your next 4 years of marriage exceeding and abundantly fruitful beyond anything you could ever imagine!! Love,Jan

Anonymous said...

Dear Amy, AMEN! Your words of encouragement to women were wonderful and biblical! Press on, dear sister--I love the wisdom God gives to all His sheep as we stay in the Word! Thank you, sister!

Unknown said...

I AGREE!!! I love reading and learning from you! We've never even met, but I'm so glad Adam found a wonderful wife in you!!! Today's blog reminded me of something I read once that "Love is knowing that your name is safe in someone elses mouth."... :)

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