Monday, June 13, 2011

Seeking God's Face Not Just His Hands

10 Things Anyone On Adam's Team (medical teams) Needs To Know:
  1. I'M ADVOCATING, not being over reactive, or over protective.  There is a difference.
  2. I may not have gone through 7 years of medical school, but I have spent every day for the last 5 years with Adam and almost 1/3 of our marriage in a hospital... I do know a thing or two about Adam so listen please... I might be able to help.
  3. We are people not a room number.  I hate being referred to as "the wife of 61" or "the wife". 
  4. While a hospital may be a normal place for you to be, considering you get paid to be here, it's never a comfortable place for a patient or their families, be respectful that it's not comfortable for us.  Nor do we know the insides and outs of the workings, take a couple minutes and explain what the day might look like for us.
  5. You brush your teeth right?  So what makes you think that the patient wouldn't want theirs brushed.  Spend just as much time getting the patient ready for their day as you would getting yourself ready.
  6. DOUBLE CHECK MEDICATIONS ALWAYS.  I can't tell you how many medication mishaps we would have had if I weren't with Adam every day.  (Family members... always, always, know what medications your loved one is on and know how to identify them in pill form so you know what they are getting and should be getting)
  7. Please use gloves and wash your hands... it's disgusting to think that you would come into our room and touch my man with bare hands when you have been in so many other rooms, it's a SAFETY issue.  Please think about the patient not the convenience factor.
  8. Don't take away the only thing I have some days... and that is to help my husband.  If I say I want to do it, let me... I may look small, but I am one tough girl.
  9. Don't EVER tell me what Adam won't do again... you don't know, only God does... and my God is bigger than Adam's brain injury and knows more than you.
  10. I was apart of the team before you ever were and I will be the last one standing on this team, don't leave me out of the loop and let me be apart of any decisions that need to be made, after all I will be living with the results... not you.
I think my shirt says it all... I love my man!  (yes, my man took this picture!)

This was just my way of ranting today... with this said I am somewhat feeling validated.  I told the doctors here that when Adam has an infection his white blood cell count doesn't go up and he doesn't always run a fever with infections.  I thought they listened to me, but turns out... I think they thought I was full of it.  I had one doctor today tell me that I was over reacting and too protective, that I was noticing things that no one else would notice... so he didn't see anything wrong with Adam... this was before we got the results. 

Sure enough I was right... Adam had an infection.  Finally we have our answer, and it's a simple fix!  Praise the Lord.  Adam was diagnosed with a UTI.  You might be thinking, how does that effect his brain?  Because Adam is so vulnerable, any infection even a cold will alter Adam's mental status.  His body has to fight the infection that it can't work on healing the brain, every ounce of energy goes to fighting the infection.  You might also be asking why did it take 6 days to diagnose?  They ran 2 urinary anylasis' within the first 48 hours and one came up positive, and one came up negative, then third the took yesterday and they ran it microscopically to make sure they are not missing anything and sure enough it tested off the charts for infection.  Not that I would ever want Adam to have an infection, but if he has to go through it, I am thankful this is all that it is and not his shunt.  I am rejoicing and giving thanks that he has Adam in His hands.  Adam has already begun his antibiotics and it looks like we'll be discharged tomorrow.

Adam had a pretty full day today, he was able to get therapies in, speech and physical therapy.  He got up with the physical therapist and walked for a bit today.  I was able to get him up and in the chair again and faced the chair towards the window.  We sat together looking out the window for many hours today.  Well we didn't just stare out the window, we played games, and had many laughs today.  At one point we were playing a game and I messed up and we both laughed and I said "you love me?!" and he said "well you drive me crazy sometimes"... we both laughed.  I love him and his sense of humor.

This morning I was driving to the hospital, praying for our day and I found myself praying for Adam's healing and really keeping that as my end goal, my focus.  I was gently reminded that God wants me to seek His face not just His hand.  Sometimes we seek the Lord only for what he has to offer—for what he can give us. In other words, we seek his hand rather than his face. After all His face is the end goal, the end prize... it's not just Adam's restoration, it's beyond that, it's so much more. Seeking God's face is about knowing God, knowing who He is, knowing Him very closely. To walk with Him and to have a relationship with Him. When we look at someone's face we see their eyes. If the 'light' is right, we can see our reflection in their eyes. What a thought to seek Him and to look at Him and see our reflection in HIS eyes!!  We need to seek Him seek His face not what He can do by His hands. He longs for us to come to Him for all our needs. He longs for us to have a relationship with Him, He longs for us to intentionally seek His face.  Psalm 105:4  Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

Mackenzie wrote this on the white board here in Adam's hospital room before she left... it says "Remember you are God's mighty warrior" then she drew a picture of a sword and a cross and signed it kiddo (this is what Adam calls Mackenzie) and then she wrote her name under that.  So sweet.

8 comments:

Temarie said...

You are doing a great job being an amazing wife and advocate for Adam! I have been reading Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss (which I am loving!) and found this quote and wanted to share it with you, "To give thanks to Him, is indeed, a very difficult duty; for it includes giving thanks for trials of all kinds; for suffering and pain; for reproaches; for loneliness. Yet those who have learned submissions will not find it a hard duty." - Priscilla Maurice
I love it that you still find joy - even in the small (and big) things that are happening during a difficult time. Keep choosing gratitude in the midst of times such as these.

Vicky Scott said...

Amy,
You have joined the team of parents and spouses of TBI's who have gone before you stating the same ten items you listed. That is to say this happens everywhere and unfortunately we all have our horrific stories. (Jonathan got MRSA and his skull prothesis had to be removed, and I looked at his IV antibiotics dripping into his arm only to find the name of the guy next door on them for starters). I hope you said it and not just wrote it because the most important words you wrote was that you are the wife/caregiver/last team member standing and you get the product they deliver to you after they have made so many mistakes. You are the client, the caregiver, the wife, the advocate and they should be answering to you. Stand your ground. You are in charge of precious cargo. I am proud of you! I will have to say I am so thrilled it is a UTI rather than the shunts! Having spent 9 years as a medical technologist, they should have known the first day that he had a UTI. Praying.

Anonymous said...

You go girl! I still think you need to go to school to be a nurse after all this is over! : )

Anonymous said...

Yeah Amy...the top 10 prevail! Well thought out and clearly stated. You do have the insight on that one which none of us can say otherwise. Adam took a great picture of you and it shows how much you love your man! It's been evident in the walk and journey you have taken to show that kind of love. I know that you are truly an example of the reflection you see in your Heavenly Father. I am so proud of you Amy! You are the best advocate for Adam and one day you will "see" and hear all those who will thank you for honoring God and your marriage vows! Love you all lots!

Mom

Mary Strynar said...

Post the list in bold print on the front door of his room! You are right on sister! I am so thankful that you are so articulate.

Anonymous said...

I am grateful for Doctor's, BUT wjen they start thinking they know it all or are some sort of god, I don't have much use for them. Sometimes I tremble for when they will stand before the "Great Physician", they are going to realize just what they didn't know. They are to be pitied. I once saw a cartoon that fits this pretty good. There were three doctors sitting in the waiting room, waiting to be chosen by the patient. Who could be seen, out the window, playing golf. I many times think the doctors forget if we didn't choose them they wouldn't have a practise. I will trust Father to intervine on your behalf, and to give you ultimate trust in Him. I love you, Marion

Anonymous said...

Amy, I just love your rantings! That is a godly love and protectiveness and wisdom that is straight from heaven. You too are a mighty warrior and your man and your friends and your family admire your love, faith, steadfastness! You are standing by your man and bringing great glory to your first love, Jesus!
SO THANKFUL it's a UTI !! Love,Jan

Anonymous said...

I was just trying to tell someone the importance of being an advocate for our families when they are hurt. It is a difficult balance. You said it with such grace but confidence. I have seen to many sad outcomes because family didn't feel they could challenge or ask questions. Keep standing where God asks you one day at a time and he will continue to guide you.
Still reading, still praying
DeAnna Richmond (Sherwood, Oregon)

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