Saturday, April 2, 2011

Find Me In The River

Find Me In The River (song lyrics by Delirious?)

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please

We've longed to see the roses
But never felt the thorns
And bought our pretty crowns
But never paid the price

Find me in the river
Find me there
Find me on my knees with my soul laid bare
Even though you're gone and I'm cracked and dry
Find me in the river, I'm waiting here

Find me in the river
Find me on my knees
I've walked against the water
Now I'm waiting if you please

We didn't count on suffering
We didn't count on pain
But if the blessing's in the valley
Then in the river I will wait


Tonight my heart is heavy... I miss my husband.  Before getting Adam into bed this evening, I laid my head on his lap and I was just talking to him as he ran his fingers through my hair, I told him how much I love him, he responded "I love you too", I asked why? and he said, "because you're beautiful"... I love my man.  I miss him terribly.  After tucking Adam in and coming back to the hotel, I spent some of the evening going through our family photos from a year ago.  I like to look at them to see my man, my husband, but it's bittersweet, while I like to think of the memories, it's so raw and painful. 

I started to ponder how quickly our lives can change, in a flash of a second they can be changed forever, never to go back to the "perfect" we once knew.  Then it made me appreciate that while everything around Adam, Mackenzie, and I changed in a moment... God has been faithful and has remained the same.  He is the same today as he was the day before Adam's accident, when I sat on our back deck talking with my husband as he grilled us dinner and Mackenzie chased fireflies with a mason jar, reflecting on how perfect my life was in that moment.  Praise God that even in that moment, He knew my life would forever change the next day, that He gave me such a sweet memory to hold on to... as tears role down my face this moment, I give Him thanks.  I give Him thanks that we are forever changed, not because I wanted things to change, but because I trust Him that it is all apart of His greater plan, and His plans are perfect.  We are to be forever changing to be more like Him, and He is never to change.  I pray that I will not wake up tomorrow being the same person I am today, how I want to be more like Him... Lord, please don't let me wake up and be the same tomorrow, grow me more in you.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, yes and forever.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

"There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss and no loss without pain."  Rick Warren

"You can endure change by pondering His permanence."  Max Lucado

I love my man



6 comments:

Rachel said...

Love you and trust that the Lord's love will surround you tonight.

Anonymous said...

Our rivers are flowing in different currents, BUT we have the same faithful Father. I am grateful for the reminder. May we both stand strong in our rivers, Marion

Anonymous said...

Amy, I've followed your blog since I found it via another acquaintance's blog last year. You and your family have been and continue to be in my prayers. I also have dealt with similar back issues as you currently have, and surgery was like a miracle for me! I pray that it will be for you as well. When I woke up, I knew I was better. May it be so for you. Rest in God's arms today and always. Blessings to you, my sister in Christ. Laura

Jevans said...

You and I have been allowed to taste of the utter perfection of this world's sublime and the keening wretchedness of its bitter. Our families have been washed in The River by the One who is able. I don't understand any more than you do ~ but I will be glad to kneel with you my Dear Sister Amy at the foot our Savior Jesus and declare that you were faithful and He will smile...

Anonymous said...

Love this posting Amy! God continues His faithfulness to you, Adam, and Mackenzie! Three more sleeps and I will be on the East Coast. May you sense His love and peace over you today.
I love you ALL!
Mom

Debbie said...

Standing firm on His promises...Filled to be emptied again...Continue to sow the seed~ You are an AMAZING child of God.

He loves you, and so do I!
Debbie

Desert Song
by: Hillsong United

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

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