Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Out Of The Mouth Of A Child

I love my kid... she consistently repeats my words back to me and the always convict me, yet she has no idea, she is just telling me to bring me comfort... I was worried about leaving Adam tonight and she says to me... "Mom, God is bigger than everyone here, and He is with Adam every night when we leave, you just have to trust Him."  So I had to go to the cross and leave my troubles there, because the burden is too heavy and it's not mine to carry, Praise the Lord for His strength, and that He takes the weight from my shoulders and carries me in His hands.  God is bigger, Amen?!!!  Isaiah 12:1 &2 I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song. 

Adam's week has been so up and down...  as soon as I think we are out of the woods with an infection, something else starts. Adam has a mysterious rash, the marked it with a Sharpie so we could watch how quickly it is spreading.  It is not from any medications, because he is not on anything new and no changes have been made, no soaps or detergents have been changed, so Dr. Chae ordered a consult from a dermatologist who came by this evening.  She took some cultures of his rash and we will hopefully hear the preliminary results in by Saturday and the full results by Tuesday.  His white blood cell count was up today too, so the doctors are working on finding what they believe is an infection brewing.  After talking with the infectious disease doctor tonight, they will most likely be removing Adam's mid-line.  This is to make sure it's not infected or causing infection.  Please pray for Adam's overall health, pray that he will feel better, and be able to continue upward and forward on the path of recovery.

My heart is heavy tonight, and I ask all of you to pray for Gene, he is one of the nurses aides that works with Adam just about every night.  (He's one of my favorites, because he works so hard and always takes good care of my man).  Tonight while on his shift, he found out his mother passed away, he was very close to his mother and even though she lived in Haiti, he supported her and took care of her.  You can imagine, how upset he was.  I went downstairs because I had to go to the reception desk for something and he was downstairs wailing, I went up to him, not knowing yet what had happened, and I just put my arms around him and held him, it's the only thing I could think of when I see this big guy in his 40's just wailing.  He was screaming, my momma, my momma, I just talked to her.  There was no words that could comfort so as I held him, I just cried with him. 

After someone came down to take care of Gene, I silently walked away, sobbing, not just for Gene's grief, but because I was reminded how close I was to loosing my man several months ago and how blessed I am that he is still here fighting every day to recover, grateful and praising God that I was given so many more days with my amazing man.  While I am so thankful that Adam is still here and still persevering... it doesn't mean I don't experience feelings of grief, sadness, and severe pain... oh how my heart physically hurts and aches every day.  Grief is so hard to go through and very difficult to watch someone experience it.  Watching Gene experience grief just made my heart hurt for his.  Please pray for him in the days to come, he leaves for Haiti in the morning.  Matthew 5:4 says Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

My Dear Girl, My heart is weeping with you, and with Gene. I don't know what to say, except that I leave you in the loving arms of our Father, who cares more for you, Adam, Mackenzie, and Gene than you can imagine. I love you, Marion

Wanda said...

I am proud of Mackenzie! What wonderful words of wisdom. It is nice to hear our children have not only heard us but they listened and are living it as well.

Praying for a wonderful Christmas for you all and that God will give Gene the strength, comfort and peace that he needs during this time.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Amy,
I continue to pray for Adam, and for you and Mackenzie and your families as well. I am also praying for you all to have a joyous Christmas and know the Lord is with you. I hope someday to meet you as I believe God is speaking to all of us through your journey and your words have brought me, and I am sure others comfort in ways you can only imagine.
Diane in Washington

Anonymous said...

Oh Amy...God has placed you where you can still comfort others,even in your grief. My prayers and heart go out to Gene. I felt his pain. :( I am so proud of you and I know how much your Heavenly Father adores you. That is amazing!

Love always,
Mom

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