Saturday, November 27, 2010

Love Languages

I am so in love with my man.  My favorite place has always been next to him, in fact when we would have our moments of intense fellowship (this is what most of you refer to as disagreements) they were mostly revolved around the fact that I needed and wanted more face to face time with my man.  Before his accident he was extremely busy, and the moments we spent were never taken for granted, praise the Lord.  Quality time is my love language and I cherish every moment I spent with my man.  Even if it means that we have all been couped up in a hospital room for the last 6 months, there is nowhere else I want to be.  Don't mistake me, I am getting plenty of face to face time, but I have informed Adam that this doesn't count as quality time... please know that when I am saying this it's with a smile and in a teasing manner...

There are lots of ways to show love, but Gary Chapman writes a book called The Five Love Languages.  If you haven't read it, this is a must read.  If you haven't read it recently, pick it up again... I think the way we feel love and express love changes as we change, so you might discover that you have a new love language.

The five love languages are:

Quality Time
Periods where you have complete attention. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel neglected without time spent specifically focused on each other, or doing something together that you love to do. You enjoy sharing things you love with others, and feel special when someone else includes you in something they are passionate about.

Words of Affirmation
Positive verbal reinforcement. If this is your love language, you feel wonderful when someone gives you a genuine compliment. You may feel insecure without encouragement or regular expressions of approval. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.

Receiving Gifts

Physical or visual symbols of affection. If receiving gifts makes you feel loved, that does not mean you are superficial. Some people simply respond to tangible illustrations of the love in a relationship. Different from being a "gold digger," someone who speaks this love language appreciates thoughtful, personal gifts, not necessarily dependent on price. A home-made card or tiny trinket can speak volumes, if well-chosen and suited to the recipient.

Acts of Service

Doing things for a loved one. If this is your dominant love language, you feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you. Examples include: doing chores, cooking dinner, taking care of something that would normally be your responsibility, chipping in without being asked. Most people can relate to this love language, though in very different ways, and it is extremely important to practice this love language out of genuine feeling, rather than duty, to avoid resentment.

Physical Touch

Bodily contact between people. Not restricted to sexual intercourse or intimacy, this love language encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling. Physical contact can be its own form of communication. If this is your love language, you need your partner to recognize what kinds of touch are pleasant and which are irritating, and focus on increasing the former and reducing the latter.

If you're still not sure what your love language is take the quiz here... Love Language Quiz

Colossians 3:14 "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity"

For those of you who are married, try to identify your spouse's love languages and try speaking it, go ahead I dare you... selflessly give your spouse what he or she is needing from you, not just what they need, but what they desire.  I know for me, when Adam would go out of his way to have quality time with me or let me know he was thinking about me throughout his day, I can't tell you in words how much this would speak to my heart in ways no one else can.  Over the last year my man become so intentional about speaking my love language, it made me want to speak his language back and to count my blessings that he chose me to be his wife.  The difficulty it is for Adam to show me that he loves me, and yet, every day he shows me in ways I never would have imagined, it's a love so deep, so sincere, so genuine, so tender, so kind... it's God's love shinning through Adam.  I am so blessed.

This morning I walked into Adam's room and said good morning, gave him a kiss and asked if he had a good night, which he promptly responded by shaking his head no, so I asked the nurse what the report was on Adam's night, she said he didn't sleep well at all... I was sad to hear Adam didn't sleep well, but ecstatic that he communicated it to me, because this required him to process and he did!  He's amazing.  Normally on Saturdays Adam has half sessions for occupational therapy and for physical therapy... but today since his therapists were covering the weekend, Adam had his normal hour with both... he was pretty sleepy since he didn't get much sleep last night, but he still participated and did great.  We are so lucky to have such an awesome team working with Adam, he's got a great team of nurses, therapists, and doctors.  I am going to ask that this week you all pray for Adam's team.  I love that you all have been so faithful to our family, but walking this journey with us.  By encouraging us, providing for us, meeting so many of our needs... I thank you that I can ask you all to pray and you so faithfully do.  I am so humbled by your generosity, kindness, faithfulness... and your love... thank you so much.

This is a recent picture of Adam's postcard wall.  It looks like it's less postcards than before, but the wall is much larger than before... keep em coming... we love the prayers and the reminder that you all are walking this with us!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for making the "Love Language Test" available. Thank you for sharing your heart. I love you. Marion Hansen The Postcard Wall looks great!!

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