Tuesday, November 30, 2010

So Thankful For All Of You

I want to take a moment and thank all of you who have supported us in this journey, thank you for your letters, cards, emails, facebook messages, text messages, postcards, care packages, ect.  I apologize if I have not responded back, please know from the bottom of my heart that I am so appreciative and my heart is overflowing with thanksgiving.  Each blessing you have poured out to us has touched me deeply and I pray for each of you to be blessed back. I thank God for each and every blessing that has been sent our way, because He uses you all to speak to me.  As much as I would love to write back, and spend time catching up on emails and voicemails... I know it sounds so trite, but time just hasn't allowed for it.  My days with Adam are busy.  Once I get to the hospital in the morning, I hit the ground running and I don't stop till I am laying my head on the pillow to blog at night before I close my eyes. 

My days are busy, between Adam's care (the only thing I don't do is push medications because legally I can't), therapy sessions (where I play an active role), meetings between case managers, social workers, doctors, court issues... ect., keeping track of every medication alone is a full time job.  On top of all of this I try to balance my time with Mackenzie and making sure I am not lacking as her mother.  Any moment of time to myself I do get, if any... I indulge myself in the Word because it's my refuge.  This is 7 days a week, 24 hours a day... so please understand that I would love to respond to everyone who has graciously given a piece of your heart to us, I am just not capable to do so at this time.  Please know that it is your letters, care packages, and messages that get me through the darkest hours, the most painful tears, it's your encouragement that God seems to bring to me at the right moment, in His time, so thank you so much for being so obedient to His voice and His calling to reach out and send something to us... it is used in a mighty way to speak directly to my heart.  Not to mention your letters and packages to Mackenzie has made her to feel very blessed and encouraged at just the right moments.  Please don't take this message and not reach out to us, we need you and for a moment think you are burdening me by reaching out... please just be patient with me.  Your faithfulness in reaching out to us during this journey has been an inspiration to me, thank you so much.  1 Thessalonians 1:2 "We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers."

Adam had another sleepless night last night for no particular reason... so he was pretty sleepy most of the day today.  In speech therapy, Stacie started a new plan with him that is really cool.  She uses this switchboard that you can plug different things into and then has a large button that Adam can push to control the object plugged into the switchboard.  So today she plugged in Adam's fan and every time Adam would push the button, it would turn on and off his fan.  He did pretty good, but was pretty sleepy so I can't wait to see what Adam's response will be when he has had a little more sleep.  In physical therapy, Erin got Adam up in the walking equipment again today... Adam pretty good... it's hard to fall asleep when you're trying to learn to walk.  In occupational therapy with Becky, Adam slept through just about the entire session... it was difficult to even get him to open his eyes today. 

Please join me in praying for Adam to get some good rest in tonight so he is ready to work hard tomorrow.   Please also pray for his doctor's appointment tomorrow for his trach, I will be joining Adam on this field trip adventure tomorrow.  We go to find out if his granulated tissue has shrunk any, we are praying that it has shrunk enough to where it either won't be there or it's small enough they'll be able to laser it off... if not he'll have to have a surgery to have it removed which means going under again... please pray against this, I really don't want Adam to have to endure another surgery.  No matter the outcome, I have the peace of Christ and I continue to stand before God with a heart of gratitude giving Him thanks for all that He has done, to Him be the glory.  Praise God for His peace that truly does surpass ALL understanding.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Speech Is Just A Matter Of Time!!!!

Where do I begin... Adam's day was awesome!!!
Let me start from the beginning... Like I mentioned yesterday Adam has been a little sleepy, and yesterday he wasn't really responding to me... so when I got to the hospital this morning I was watching him closely while I bathed him and got him ready for the day.  Still he was sleepy and not quite himself.  So I spoke with Dr. Chae and shared my concerns.  After listening to my concerns, he wanted to make sure that that Adam's shunt is still draining at the right level.  So he ordered a CT scan just to be sure everything is good.  So Adam and I took a field trip across the street and down a couple blocks to Massachusetts General Hospital to get a CT scan.  We should hear the results of Adam's CT scan tomorrow.  (I think everything is fine, after how awesome his day unfolded).

Adam was pretty tired during speech therapy and right after speech Adam had physical therapy with Erin.  A few weeks ago I talked about a special bike that the gym has that Adam's wheelchair pulls right up to and we strap his feet into.  The bike has a motor as well as lets Adam manually pedal.   The bike's screen tells us when Adam is pedaling verses the motor pedaling.  It also tells us what percentage of each leg is pedaling.  Adam pedaled by himself for ten minutes!!!  He went 1/3 of a mile and each leg was pedaling 50/50!!!!  This is amazing!  He's so strong and getting better every day!  I was cheering him on with every pedal... I am so proud.

Stacie, Adam's speech therapist, mentioned to me last week that she and Adam's other therapists were talking and they all believe that Adam can do more than he is doing.  They all agree that Adam is doing awesome, but there is something holding him back and they wanted to figure out what it is that is holding him back so they asked Dr. Giacino Director of Rehabilitation Neuropyschology, to evaluate Adam.  He is head of Adam's team and helps come up with the plan for Adam's care. So Adam's whole team met as they discussed his case, this consisted of Adam's therapist, the nursing manager, the case manager, the social worker, Dr. Chae and his residents and  Dr. Giacino who performed his evaluation by asking Adam do follow commands.  Adam needed help staying awake because he came straight from physical therapy, he followed all commands, he did a thumbs up, he vocalized when he was asked, he nodded his head, he did all of this and quickly... he did everything!!!  He's amazing!!! 

Knowing that the speech/language center of Adam's brain has suffered damaged, yet seeing him respond so quickly, Dr. Chae discussed with Dr. Giacino what he thought Adam's prognosis was about understanding language, being able to speak... his response was that based off the way Adam responded today, he defiantly understands language and it will only be a matter of time before he starts talking!  Both Dr. Chae and Dr. Giacino agreed!!!  They confirmed what we already knew, God is at work in Adam's brain!!!  Keep praying for Adam's speech and processing, while this is awesome news, please never give up on praying for my man, God hears your prayers and is answering them!!!  After they were done and Adam and I were back in his room, I hit my knees in Adam's room, just praising God for what He has already done, what He is doing, and what is yet to come!  There are no words for my heart and how much it is overflowing with praise for our Healer!!!  God is so good!  Jeremiah 17:14 "Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."

Sunday, November 28, 2010

The Beginning of Advent

I love me some family time! I can tell so many of you have been praying for us because we have had some awesome family time this weekend, we have been all together and I haven't had to choose to be wife or mom, I have been able to be both at the same time! Praise the Lord, I am so thankful for this time! Mackenzie got Adam a Nerf basketball hoop and ball that light up, so today we set it up and Mackenzie, Adam, and I played basketball... it was a blast... Adam did great! He is still doing a great job playing catch with me every day as well. Technically Sundays he doesn't have therapies, but I don't really give him the day off. We still play, I still stretch him, and work on therapy techniques that the therapists have all taught me... so for Adam there really isn't any days off, however, when he is sleeping, I let him sleep without bothering him or making a noise... and believe it or not, Mackenzie is really good about this as well!

Today marks the beginning of Advent. The word Advent means "coming" or "arrival." The focus of the entire season is the celebration of the birth of Jesus the Christ in his First Advent, and the anticipation of the return of Christ the King in his Second Advent. Thus, Advent is far more than simply marking a 2,000 year old event in history. It is celebrating a truth about God, the revelation of God in Christ whereby all of creation might be reconciled to God.

I have been really praying that God would give me a all consuming love and focus for Him this season, after all, that is what this season is all about.  I don't want to sound like Scrooge, but I am just not in the "holiday spirit".  Don't mistake me, I am in the Christmas spirit, and try to remain there all year... being in the Christmas spirit, for me means keeping my life and attention focused on Christ, and His return.  As for the holiday spirit, I think of that as the worldly traditions... shopping, tree decorating, holiday parties... again please don't get upset with me, just hear me out... these traditions are fun and wonderful, but they are not what makes this season fun and wonderful. This season is fun and wonderful when I reflect on the beauty of Messiah being born and eventually tearing the veil so that I can have a personal relationship and eternal life with Him... how is this not wonderful?!!!

Last year I had read and followed on facebook the Advent Conspiracy, which challenges us to worship fully, spend less, give more, love all.  I want to just focus in on the "worship fully".  Their website describes worshiping fully this way... "It starts with Jesus. It ends with Jesus. This is the holistic approach God had in mind for Christmas. It’s a season where we are called to put down our burdens and lift a song up to our God. It’s a season where love wins, peace reigns, and a king is celebrated with each breath. It’s the party of the year. Entering the story of advent means entering this season with an overwhelming passion to worship Jesus to the fullest."  I love this!  This gets me so excited to worship, it truly is a holistic approach, and I challenge you to take a holistic approach to this advent season.  This week, I am praying for God to consume me, to show me what it means to worship fully, to renew my mind... to keep my focus and attention on Him, and Him alone.  I challenge you to take a moment, ignore the hustle and bustle... sit down with a cup of coffee, open God's Word and hear what He has to say...  Beloved, He is telling you how much He loves you, it's all over His Word.  Worship does not just happen on Sundays in a church service, it is a life experience all day every day if you choose to make it that way, so dear friends... WORSHIP FULLY!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Love Languages

I am so in love with my man.  My favorite place has always been next to him, in fact when we would have our moments of intense fellowship (this is what most of you refer to as disagreements) they were mostly revolved around the fact that I needed and wanted more face to face time with my man.  Before his accident he was extremely busy, and the moments we spent were never taken for granted, praise the Lord.  Quality time is my love language and I cherish every moment I spent with my man.  Even if it means that we have all been couped up in a hospital room for the last 6 months, there is nowhere else I want to be.  Don't mistake me, I am getting plenty of face to face time, but I have informed Adam that this doesn't count as quality time... please know that when I am saying this it's with a smile and in a teasing manner...

There are lots of ways to show love, but Gary Chapman writes a book called The Five Love Languages.  If you haven't read it, this is a must read.  If you haven't read it recently, pick it up again... I think the way we feel love and express love changes as we change, so you might discover that you have a new love language.

The five love languages are:

Quality Time
Periods where you have complete attention. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel neglected without time spent specifically focused on each other, or doing something together that you love to do. You enjoy sharing things you love with others, and feel special when someone else includes you in something they are passionate about.

Words of Affirmation
Positive verbal reinforcement. If this is your love language, you feel wonderful when someone gives you a genuine compliment. You may feel insecure without encouragement or regular expressions of approval. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.

Receiving Gifts

Physical or visual symbols of affection. If receiving gifts makes you feel loved, that does not mean you are superficial. Some people simply respond to tangible illustrations of the love in a relationship. Different from being a "gold digger," someone who speaks this love language appreciates thoughtful, personal gifts, not necessarily dependent on price. A home-made card or tiny trinket can speak volumes, if well-chosen and suited to the recipient.

Acts of Service

Doing things for a loved one. If this is your dominant love language, you feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you. Examples include: doing chores, cooking dinner, taking care of something that would normally be your responsibility, chipping in without being asked. Most people can relate to this love language, though in very different ways, and it is extremely important to practice this love language out of genuine feeling, rather than duty, to avoid resentment.

Physical Touch

Bodily contact between people. Not restricted to sexual intercourse or intimacy, this love language encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling. Physical contact can be its own form of communication. If this is your love language, you need your partner to recognize what kinds of touch are pleasant and which are irritating, and focus on increasing the former and reducing the latter.

If you're still not sure what your love language is take the quiz here... Love Language Quiz

Colossians 3:14 "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity"

For those of you who are married, try to identify your spouse's love languages and try speaking it, go ahead I dare you... selflessly give your spouse what he or she is needing from you, not just what they need, but what they desire.  I know for me, when Adam would go out of his way to have quality time with me or let me know he was thinking about me throughout his day, I can't tell you in words how much this would speak to my heart in ways no one else can.  Over the last year my man become so intentional about speaking my love language, it made me want to speak his language back and to count my blessings that he chose me to be his wife.  The difficulty it is for Adam to show me that he loves me, and yet, every day he shows me in ways I never would have imagined, it's a love so deep, so sincere, so genuine, so tender, so kind... it's God's love shinning through Adam.  I am so blessed.

This morning I walked into Adam's room and said good morning, gave him a kiss and asked if he had a good night, which he promptly responded by shaking his head no, so I asked the nurse what the report was on Adam's night, she said he didn't sleep well at all... I was sad to hear Adam didn't sleep well, but ecstatic that he communicated it to me, because this required him to process and he did!  He's amazing.  Normally on Saturdays Adam has half sessions for occupational therapy and for physical therapy... but today since his therapists were covering the weekend, Adam had his normal hour with both... he was pretty sleepy since he didn't get much sleep last night, but he still participated and did great.  We are so lucky to have such an awesome team working with Adam, he's got a great team of nurses, therapists, and doctors.  I am going to ask that this week you all pray for Adam's team.  I love that you all have been so faithful to our family, but walking this journey with us.  By encouraging us, providing for us, meeting so many of our needs... I thank you that I can ask you all to pray and you so faithfully do.  I am so humbled by your generosity, kindness, faithfulness... and your love... thank you so much.

This is a recent picture of Adam's postcard wall.  It looks like it's less postcards than before, but the wall is much larger than before... keep em coming... we love the prayers and the reminder that you all are walking this with us!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Walking With The Lord

We had such an awesome family day today... I love when we are all together and I don't have to feel torn or feel like I have to choose between a wife or being a mother.  The days that we share at the hospital all together are the only days I don't have to choose roles, but I get to be both at the same time!  I love our family time and cherish every moment we are together. 

Adam had a great day in therapies!  He has started saying "uh huh" more frequently.  He said it to me yesterday when I was asking questions, but today he was really saying, there was no question.  In speech therapy, Stacie was able to get quite a few head nods... he's doing so awesome at communicating!  The best part of Adam's day was in physical therapy, Erin, got him into a special piece of equipment that suspends most of Adam's body weight, but allows him to have some weight bearing.  It also allows Adam to walk, or take steps without having to feel all his weight.  HE DID AWESOME!!!  He was bringing up his right foot and moving it and was sliding his left foot, he started with his right even before Erin asked him too... he did it out of instinct.  I am so proud of him, he is such a fighter and is so strong!  GO ADAM!!!!  It was so cute having Mackenzie there for his therapies today, she was able to participate and cheer him on with me.  She is such a great encourager and she is so proud of how hard her dad works everyday.  She was right there cheering him on every step of the way! 

My man walked today, it had to be by faith, because the way the equipment was laid out there is no way it was by sight. Praise the Lord, Adam is walking with the Lord!!!!  2 Corinthians 5:7 "For we live by faith, not by sight."  I pray that we both will continue to walk by faith and not by sight, for what is laid out in front of us is scary, but what we do not see is a blessing and a gift... I will continue to choose to walk by faith. I pray that God will give me the patience and strength to walk by faith, for I know I am not capable on my own to walk by faith, I pray that God will continue to rid me of myself so that I can continue to walk with Him and draw nearer to Him.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

Today I felt torn for most of the day.  Mackenzie didn't want to be at the hospital, she didn't want to spend Thanksgiving in a hospital, and I don't blame her... if ever I wished I could have been in 2 places at once, it would have been today.  Mackenzie stayed home with Sharon and Lester and had a wonderful Thanksgiving with their large family... she had a great time and I am so thankful for them and their generosity.  They have taken us into their home, but more than that, they invited us into their family and their hearts... we are so blessed by them.  I spent the entire day with Adam at the hospital and I am so thankful that I could.  I love my man and I needed to be with him today, thank you for all you who invited us to your Thanksgivings, but I needed to be right where I was today.  I love being with my man and we had a great day.  We did a little of everything today, we watched the parade, read, listened to Christmas music, talked for a bit (well I did most of the talking, but Adam would converse back with his vocalizations)... we had a tender and sweet day, I truly loved it.  This afternoon, I was sitting in the chair next to Adam's bed reading and he moved his arm up and pointed to his chest (I often lay my head on his chest), it took me a moment to figure out what he was trying to communicate, but when I asked him if he wanted me to lay my head on his chest he nodded yes.  Then he tenderly ran his fingers through my hair, with tears in my eyes I raised my head to look at him and he lifted his head and moved it towards me to kiss me... so amazing!  I am so thankful Adam is communicating with me... I love him so much and his tender, sweet heart..  I am thankful that Adam chose me to be his bride... what an honor and a blessing.

When I got home tonight, Mackenzie and I cuddled and watched a movie. then she filled me in on her day saying she had a great Thanksgiving too... I am looking forward to spending the day tomorrow with both Adam and Mackenzie!

1 Cronicles 29:11-13 "Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.  Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name."  I was challenged by this verse today to not just give thanks for what we have this Thanksgiving, but give thanks for who HE is, and HIS many attributes.  When I praise Him and give Him thanks for who He is, it is then, that I can praise Him for my sufferings... because He is omnipresent, omnipotent... He is omniscient.

Thanksgiving has been our favorite family holiday... for those of you who know Adam and I well, you know how much Adam and I love to cook and spending time together.  Last Thanksgiving was probably my favorite holiday ever.  We spent the day just the three of us, cooking, playing games, and just hanging out.  These are some pictures from our Thanksgiving last year...
 Mackenzie made this poster of all the things she was thankful for that year

 Adam is an amazing pie maker... He made 3 pies last year... and yes, just for the 3 of us.

 Mackenzie made herself into a turkey with scraps of things around the house, she is so creative

 Mackenzie and Adam holding up their yuumy creation of peanut butter pie

Last year in North Carolina, it was 70 degrees so we sat on our front porch drinking sweet tea on Thanksgiving day... such a wonderful memory.

Our Thanksgiving may have looked a whole lot different this year, but the love that we share has only grown deeper and stronger, and that is what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving... the love that has grown between the 3 of us.  I love my family.

Happy Thanksgivng from my family to yours.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Quick Update... It's Late

My sweet husband greeted me this morning with a smile and when I asked if he missed me, he nodded his head yes.  What an awesome way to start the day, I am so blessed that Adam is communicating! God is so faithful in answering our prayers.  Thank you all so much for praying, you can see how God is answering them.  Adam did awesome today, today was the first day he was awake for all his therapies, he stayed awake and participated for the entire therapy sessions... he's getting stronger every day.  In physical therapy with Erin, Adam stood in the standing frame, it was by far the best he has done yet.  When he started to look tired she asked him if he was ready to sit and he shook his head yes.  GO ADAM!!!

I climbed into bed with Adam this afternoon and I was just talking with him and cuddling with him.  I laid my head on his chest and he brought up his arm and rubbed my face and brushed my hair out of my face.  I love how tenderly sweet he is, Adam has always been this way even before his accident, I am so thankful I can still see that his personality is still there.

Adam was exhausted this evening after such an awesome day in therapy.  He needed a good rest, so Mackenzie and I joined Adam's aunt, uncle, and cousins that are in town and we headed to Frog Pond.  It's an outdoor ice rink in downtown Boston.  Mackenzie and I had a great time ice skating.

I have just continued to reflect on how faithful God is, I am so blessed that I have been able to see so many miracles in the last 6 months.  I am praising Him tonight for this journey and thanking him for  choosing our family to be his vessels and for writing our names in the Lamb's book of life.  That is what I am most thankful for.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Jesus Heals

On my way into the hospital each morning I pass an old abandoned building that used to be a disco club in the 70's, it's old, brick, and has it's share of graffiti.  Last Friday someone painted on "Jesus Heals" on the side of this building in gigantic white letters.  This may sound strange but I rejoiced in the message on the building (not promoting the fact that someone defiled property that wasn't there's), I needed the reminder that Jesus heals and is healing Adam everyday.  I felt like that message was painted on that wall just for me.  By Monday when I drove past the building it was painted over with red paint to match the red brick the building was made out of and none of the other graffiti was painted over just the white letters that proclaimed "Jesus Heals".  Then today on my way in there it was again... I kid you not, in gigantic, white letters "Jesus Heals", I don't know how to describe the feeling that I got other than I just knew that message was sent there for Adam and I. God is so faithful at meeting our needs and desires, but also He is faithful in reminding me that there is nothing He can't do... there is no time frame that He is held to, His power and His power alone is capable of healing Adam and I believe and trust with all my heart that He will restore Adam.  Jesus does heal, praise God He heals... Amen!

Adam and I have our special way of communicating, I understand him when no one else can.  He will nod his head for me and no one else... the only way I can truly relate it, is like this... for you moms out there... remember when your babies were young and learning to talk and no one could understand them but you... that's how it is for Adam.  As he is becoming more alert and awake, he is also trying so very hard to communicate and no one can quite understand him, but about 90% of the time I know what it is he is trying to say.  He even looks for me to interpret for him when he's trying to communicate with someone else.  I love that he loves me so much to be so patient with me to communicate with me in a way that I can help him.  If I thought communicating with Adam before his accident was hard, I was mistaken... this has taken me 6 months to figure out, but I am finally getting it!  I could tell today as I was talking with Adam and working with him that he is glad too that I am figuring him out... I cherish how special our relationship is and how intimate it has become, no words are necessary and yet I know we read each other very well.  I love him and I can see how much he loves me.

After talking with Dr. Chae for a bit this morning, I was relieved to hear his explanation for Adam's muscle tone.  I hadn't seen Dr. Chae in a few days so I have been working with his resident regarding Adam's muscle tone... it was nice to hear his opinion... he said base off research and experience he said that as people like Adam emerge and become more aware of their surroundings and deficiency's, and as they are alert it can cause them to stress and and tense up which can cause excess muscle tone.  He is doing his best to balance Adam's muscle tone with medications so that it won't become a hindrance in therapies, so please keep praying for Adam's muscle tone to decrease so that he doesn't have to fight against it.

Please also pray for Dr.Chae, he has had an enormous patient load and has been very busy... just pray God's wisdom and discernment over him as he treats so many patients.  Pray that his time would allow him to put God first in his life and in his profession.

I just want to take a moment and thank so many of you for being so kind to send Adam, Mackenzie, and I cards, postcards, and gifts reminding us that you are beside us walking this journey with us... thank you so much.  I will never be able to describe in the right words how much your letters and notes mean... they truly carry us through the day.  Thank you for taking the time to send us your words of encouragement, they bless me beyond what I am able to communicate.  You all have played such an amazing role in showing me God's faithfulness... thank you, we are blessed beyond words.  He is forever faithful and great is His faithfulness... I am giving thanks for his faithfulness to all the details and desires... He is so good, it makes me want to shout it from the rooftops.  Psalm 89:1 "I will sing of the LORD's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations."

Monday, November 22, 2010

A Kiss Seals Two Souls For A Moment In Time. ~ Levende Waters

Sorry... Don't know why this didn't post last night.

I am going to ask all of you to please pray for Adam's muscle tone.  I have mentioned this for the last few days because Adam's muscles have increasingly been getting tighter and he has had to work even harder to do things in therapy.  We haven't been able to find any reason for his muscle to change the way it has this last week, so I ask you all to pray specifically for his muscle tone to decrease so that he doesn't have to fight it.

Adam had a pretty good day.  He has such a great team of therapists working with him, I am so thankful for Stacie (speech), Erin (physical therapy), and Becky (occupational therapy), they all do such an amazing job working with Adam and talking to him in a that challenges him and encourages him.  He was practicing standing with Erin today and he was engaging in a lot of movements with her today.  In speech, Adam was doing awesome with his thumbs up, he seems to be getting better and better with it every day.  In occupational therapy... we got a head nod!!!!  Becky asked him a question and he appropreiately responded shaking his head no!!!  GO ADAM!!!

I am praising God for the miracles He is doing in Adam's recovery every day... my miracle and special moment today... I always ask Adam for a kiss before I kiss him.  I do this so I don't startle him.  This morning I asked him for a kiss and I asked him both verbably and with a hand motion to come close to me and give me a kiss... he leaned toward me, closed his eyes, and was trying so hard to pucker his lips... he was kissing me back today!!!  I love my man and every day he tells me through his eyes, and actions!!!  He loves me.  My love for Adam grows with every passing moment, God  continues to give me a new love for my man every day, such a gift.  I pray for all you wives that God will give you a new love for your husband so you may experience a taste of how amazing this is.  1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth."  Adam challenges me in this verse everyday, he works so hard every day and does such an amazing job truly showing me with his actions, it challenges me to do the same.  There are no words needed or necessary to say I love you, actions speak for themsel

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Blessed By Head Nodding! Praise The Lord!!!!!

Adam had a busy day today... Mackenzie and I got to the hospital and we were busy right away.  For most of the day Mackenzie worked on a book report while I hung the postcards.  When Adam was transferred to Massachusetts General Hospital we weren't able to keep our private room and so all of Adam's things had to come down off the walls.  Today was the first chance I had to hang all his postcards in his new room (809).  We have had to rehang the postcards so many times, but I love it... it allows me to reread them all to Adam.  You all wrote such encouraging messages and words of wisdom that it's such a blessing to reread them.  I'm not sure how many postcards we have on the wall, I will have to count tomorrow, but I know it's over 100.  It truly serves as such a reminder to us that you all are walking this journey with us.

Just before I started hanging all the postcards I got Adam up in his wheelchair and turned his chair towards the wall so he could watch.  Also, cause he needed a hair cut and it's so much easier for me to cut his hair while he's in his chair.  After I finished his hair he was pretty tired and had been in his chair for awhile so we got him back to bed.  On and off throughout the day I was working with Adam on nodding his head yes and no.  I would ask him very factual yes and no questions and then I would respond for him with the proper nodding of the head.   After getting him all situated I was telling him that I was going to run downstairs and grab something to drink and I asked if he was okay and he nodded his head yes!!!!!!! It gets better... Adam's aunt and uncle just came to town today and I was letting Adam know that I was going to leave to meet up with them and he shook his head no, I said "you don't want me to go?" and he shook his head no again... this was so bittersweet for me because I am ecstatic that he responded, but felt awful that I was leaving when he didn't want me to go.  I explained that I would be back to tuck him in tonight and he seemed to be okay.  When I got back tonight, the nurse said he was waiting for me, usually he falls asleep but he didn't and she said he kept looking at the door and making noises.  As soon as I walked in his room he turned his head to find me and I came around to his bedside and he lifted his head off the pillow and I took that as he was trying to reach for a kiss so a leaned in and kissed him and he relaxed his head!  MY MAN LOVES ME!!!  He's so amazing and doing a wonderful job of letting me know it every day!  I love him! 

I can't wait to get back to the hospital first thing in the morning and brag to the speech therapist how wonderful he is doing at communicating with me.  Please pray that he will continue to be able to communicate with us with his head nods, this was truly an amazing experience.  This all happened so fast this evening that I wasn't able to get my camera out and record it. so I am hoping that Stacie (his speech therapist) will get to see it tomorrow too.

There is this overwhelming sense of joy that just seems to be engulfing us.  I am so amazed by God's faithfulness and goodness to us.  I am praising him and worshiping him for all that He has done, and is doing.  His hands are doing a mighty work in Adam's brain and body.  He has filled me with so much joy and peace lately, I am so blessed, by His love for us.  He is consistently reminding me that He is here and there is SO MUCH HOPE, Amen?!!!!  The greatest blessing God gives us is an encounter with Him and He has lavished me with blessings.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

God's Word

Quick update tonight... I haven't be able to sleep well this week and I am pretty tired so I am going to make this quick...

The one positive about not being able to sleep and it being a weekend, Mackenzie can stay at home with Sharon and Lester and sleep in and I can go to the hospital whenever... so this morning around 4:30 I finally got up and made my way into the hospital.  I was told Adam didn't sleep well either, but as soon as I got there he looked at me, smiled, took a deep breath and closed his eyes and slept for almost 4 hours!  I think he needed me as much as I needed him.  I love him.  He was able to sleep all morning because he didn't begin therapy until this afternoon, he had occupational therapy, where they worked on stretching his arms... please keep praying for Adam's muscle tone, we need his muscles to relax so we can keep making progress.

Adam and I started reading Screwtape Letters by: C.S.Lewis yesterday, so when he finished with therapy today I curled up on his bed and read to him.  What an interesting book, I could tell Adam was interested because every time I paused he would make eye contact with me.  He did the same thing this morning when I was reading our devotion out of Psalms.  I love that I can see how aware he is, what a blessing, and a wonderful miracle this is!

I apologize that I forgot to update you all last night on Mackenzie... all her tests came back good and xrays looked good, so she either pinched a nerve or pulled a muscle.  She is suppose to take it easy, but is already back to running around normal again... Praise the Lord!  Thank you for praying for her.

Tonight I had a conversation with a very close friend of mine, and she and I were talking about how grateful we were for God's word, spoken and written.  It brings comfort, peace, guidance, joy, encouragement... and so much more.  Praise God that we have God's word available to us daily. "When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart’s delight" Jeremiah 15:16.  Meditate on the power of the Word and how blessed we are to have it so available to us.  I am so grateful for God's word.

Friday, November 19, 2010

There Is Always Joy

This might not be a profound thought for many of you, because I am sure you have already figured this out and practicing it but the though occurred to me today that when we are in a season of suffering, when you seek God, not seek him to fix your problems and take away the suffering, but seek him to know Him, embracing the suffering... there will always be joy.  No matter the pain of suffering, if we seek God to know him more, there will ALWAYS be joy.  Larry Crabb, a christian author that I really enjoy writes "Pain is a tragedy.  But it's never only a tragedy. It's a necessary mile on a long journey to joy." 

It's through difficult times that God doesn't just draw us closer to Him, but He holds us in the palm of His hand, which should make us truly want to embrace difficult times, because God is close to the brokenhearted.  Knowing that God is so close to us in these times, embrace suffering... for there is so much joy to come!  James 1:2-3  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."

Have I mentioned lately, how much I love my man!  I love my husband he works so hard every day and continues to persevere every day.  Today in speech therapy he gave Stacie, his speech therapist a thumbs up 3 every time she asked for it! Soon, as Adam continues to be consistent with the thumbs up, we will be able to try it for a form of communication.  The goal is to get Adam to be consistent which means doing it when he's asked and for multiple days in a row... then we will be able to use a thumbs up for as a way to communicate yes and no.  He's getting so close to communicating with us, it's coming, keep praying!  Adam and I had a great day spending the day together, he had a long break in between therapies and we were able to have some good time together. With every passing day I love him more.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Reminder, God Is Protecting The Ones We Love

Confession... what I write on this blog, is usually what God is teaching me and what I am going through and  I am not claiming to have figured it all out.  Last night, after writing about how God protects us, I left the hospital in the wee hours of the morning and I found myself feeling like I didn't want to go, and Adam wouldn't be taken care of the way I feel he should.  I was totally, stressing, and worrying... and then gently I was reminded that God's protection was not just for me, but Adam too... God is with Adam and has never left him, nor will he leave him.  I had so much peace when I was reminded that God is protecting Adam all the time.  Praise the Lord, that God is with him even when I cannot be.  Psalm 91:1 & 2 "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”"

Mackenzie and I were able to get in and out this morning at the children's hospital.  We are still awaiting results, and one thing I have learned... no news is good news.  She has still been taking it easy, but seems to be doing better today than yesterday.  She and I spent the day and evening with Adam, we had a great day and Mackenzie was even able to participate in Adam's physical therapy session.  Mackenzie also had her playdate with her friend on the pediatric floor.  The girls, along with Spaulding's child life specialist did all sorts of arts and crafts.  Both girls had a good time.

Please pray specifically for Adam's muscle tone, he seemed really tight to me today.  He goes through days when he feels more tight, and other days he is really loose.  I ask that you all pray for him specifically for his muscle tone to relax, and for Adam to be comfortable.  Adam did well in therapies today, he was pretty tired this morning during speech therapy, and yet we were able to see some great swallowing.  Dr. Chae increased Adam's neuro-stimulant so hopefully that will help him be more alert for therapies.  2 weeks ago when Adam had his seizure, he had to go on an increased medication dose of an anti seizure medication and most anti seizures cause drowsiness.  So we have been fighting all the medication changes.  As I mentioned before, Mackenzie was able to participate in his physical therapy session, they used a football and played catch.  It was so cool that Mackenzie got to participate, she loved it!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

God's Protection

When I got in this morning, Adam had a little while before therapy started so a grabbed an orange (Adam's favorite color) ball (light and plastic) and I asked him to play catch with me.  I gently threw the ball to him and he looked at me with a surprise look, I explained to him that we were going to play catch and then I showed him how we were going to play.  Next I threw the ball again and this time he moved his head to look for it and then he moved his arm and hand to pick it up.  I asked Adam to hand me the ball, and every time I have asked him to let go or hand something to me he squeezes harder because I think he is trying so hard and concentrating so hard that he ends up squeezing harder.  Anyway, I grabbed my camera and recorded video of Adam moving his arms and hands to get the ball.  About 20 minutes into playing with him, when I went to throw the ball to him, he opened his hand to catch it, and even better, when I asked him to had it to me, he reached his hand over to me and put the ball into my hand. I had so much fun playing with and I could tell he enjoyed it to. 

Adam's therapies went well today, Adam was very awake and alert today!  He was surprising me constantly today.  In physical therapy he stood again with Erin and was doing so great at balancing.  He was finally assigned a primary speech therapist, her name is Stacie, and I just love her.  She is a great addition to Adam's team... she wanted to see how strong Adam's swallow reflex is so she used a special dy and dyed ice chips blue, then she fed Adam about 4 or 5 ice chips, then she used a suction kit to suction his lungs to make sure no blue dy was found and to confirm Adam was swallowing down the right pipe... he passed!  He did great swallowing!  GO ADAM!!!  What a great day for him. 

I missed Adam's occupational therapy session with Becky today because I got a call from the school nurse that Mackenzie was complaining of severe back pain.  So I had to get her, we spent the next couple hours at the pediatrician's office trying to figure out what's going on.  The type of pain Mackenzie is complaining of isn't usual for someone her age.  So they are trying to figure out what's going on.  Tomorrow we head to Children's hospital for more tests.  She is having xrays and another test.  They eliminated any kidney problems which is good, the doctor wants to rule out any spinal problems... I am wondering if she might have pinched a nerve.  She seems to be getting around okay, so we shall see.  So please pray that it's an easy fix and nothing to serious.  I will keep you posted.

After getting Mackenzie tucked into bed this evening, I was able to get back to the hospital and be with Adam, I am laying next to him as I type, there is no place I'd rather be than right here where I belong with him.  Nights are always so hard not having him next to me, it's nice being curled up next to him.  There is something so right about being in his arms, I still feel like he is my protector, I feel so protected while in his arms.  I love how he makes me feel.  Having Adam is just a tangible way of being able to feel God's love and His protection for me.

Here's what the Bible has to say about God protecting us:

Psalm 18:2 God is our protector.

2 Timothy 4:17-18 God strengthens us and rescues us.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 God protects us from evil.
1 Corinthians 10:13 God protects us while we are being tempted.
Psalm 56:9 God protects us from our enemies.
Psalm 91:3-7 God protects us from danger.
Psalm 57:1 God protects us until disaster has passed.
Psalm 121:3-8 God is always protecting us.
Joshua 1:5 God's protection never leaves.
Isaiah 41:10 God's protection is reassuring.
John 10:28-30 God's protection is powerful.
Psalm 124:1-5 God's protection is necessary.
God is our strength and protector. In Him we will find peace and rest. Please put your faith in God today and be reassured that He will never leave or forsake you. I pray that these Bible Verses about God's protection helps you to see that God is always around you, protecting you, becuase He loves you and because He cares for you.  You are His beloved, don't think for a moment He won't protect you... after all He created you and all the more reason He wants to protect you.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Standing Firm

Thank you all so much for your encouraging words through out the day today, your encouragement carries us through our days.  Thank you for your prayers, letters, comments, phone calls, text messages, emails, and I am sure I am missing other forms as well... thank you all so much.

Psalm 20:7-8 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm."

1 Corinthians 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong."

Psalm 40:2 "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."

In both physical therapy with Erin and occupational therapy with Becky, Adam practiced standing with assistance.  He did great!  He stood twice in physical therapy for about 5 minutes each time.  During his second I stood in front of him, it felt so good standing next to him and seeing how tall he is.  I asked him for a kiss and he leaned over and moved his head to me, I took that as a sign that he truly wanted a kiss, and I was happy to oblige!!!  I love my man, and everyday he shows me how much he loves me.  In occupational therapy he stood in a standing frame where he can assist in holding himself up.  He did great and was able to focus on Becky, at one point I walked to his side and he turned his head and looked up at me, and gave me another smile!!!  I love him!  He makes me such a blessed wife! Seriously, I can't believe I got a smile, and a kiss in one day!  God knew how much I needed that kiss and smile, I am so in love with my Lord, who truly takes care of all our needs. 

I am praying that Adam and I will stand firm both physically and spiritually.  I am so proud of him for working so hard on the physical part of standing, he's incredible!  I love my man!!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

6 Months of Time Standing Still

Our (Adam, Mackenzie, and myself) lives turned upside down and sideways in an instant 6 months ago today.  It's odd to see the fallen leaves on the ground, it just can't be November, isn't it still May?  There is a scene from the movie Notting Hill when Hugh Grant is walking through the open air market shortly after getting his heart broken and as he walks seasons change and months pass abut he's still in the same outfit and it ends in the same season he started his walk in... for him it's like time stood still while changed happened all around him... that is how I feel.  I feel as though I am walking through life everything around me is changing, but I feel as though time has stood still even though I can see it rapidly moving around me. 

Today has been a very emotional day and a day of reflection on our journey.  One thing I have come to understand, is that I am not made to understand, but one thing, God's undying, everlasting, love.  I don't understand all that has happened in the last six months, and I don't believe I will understand it any time soon, if ever.  If God wanted me to understand it all He would have made it clear for me to understand.  But I do trust Him, I do believe in Him and His word.

While my soul is filled with sorrow, my heart is rejoicing with thanksgiving.  In the midst of the hardest most difficult season of my life there has been so much joy, which stems from how much we have to be thankful for and leads to so much hope.  I spent a good portion of today reflecting on how thankful I am for this journey, while I would never choose it and few of you have lent your shoulder as I cried out how much I hate this... even so, I am so very thankful for how much God has used our journey to touch lives, for His blessings along the way, for His love and faithfulness everyday as He walks before us.  It is with such a heart of gratitude that I write tonight. 

I am thankful for God's healing hand, I have seen so much healing take place, not just physically, but so much deeper and more intimate than physical.  God has the power to have healed Adam yesterday, or even today... even though He hasn't yet restored Adam to health just yet, we will continue to trust in His plans, we will continue to believe in His promises, and we will continue to give thanks in every day for what has taken place in that day, because there are blessings to be grateful for everyday, Amen?!!!  I am thankful for all of you who continue to walk and share this journey with us, your prayers have meant more to my family than we will ever be able to express in words.  I am thankful for those that God has placed in our pathway and for new friendships that have come from this journey.  I am thankful for those who have studied so hard to take care of my man, all the doctors, nurses, therapists, social workers, case managers, ect.  I am so thankful for a growing faith, and for how much God has and continues to teach me through this journey.  I am thankful for being able to learn new skills to be able to take care of Adam and do as much for him as possible.  I am thankful for His provision of our needs and truly meeting them all in ways I could never have imagined. 

I am so thankful for Adam's hug, his hands holding mine, his thumbs up, the wiggling of his toes, the word "uh huh", the opening of his eyes, movement on both sides of his body, I am thankful that he is defying the odds stacked up against him.  I am thankful for how hard Adam works everyday to overcome and persevere through this trial.  I am thankful for the man of integrity that God chose me to marry, how blessed I am that I was chosen to be Adam's wife.  I am thankful for the father Adam is, especially when he didn't have to be.  I am thankful that I get to be at Adam's side, cheering him on every step of the way.  I love my man.

I have spent the day reading many Psalms...  I can find a Psalm for just about any emotion I am feeling, I am so grateful for the writers of the Psalms. 

Psalm 147:1-18
Praise the Lord.

How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

The Lord builds up Jerusalem;
he gathers the exiles of Israel.
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.
The Lord sustains the humble
but casts the wicked to the ground.

Sing to the Lord with grateful praise;
make music to our God on the harp.

He covers the sky with clouds;
he supplies the earth with rain
and makes grass grow on the hills.
He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call.

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;
the Lord delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Extol the Lord, Jerusalem;
praise your God, Zion.

He strengthens the bars of your gates
and blesses your people within you.
He grants peace to your borders
and satisfies you with the finest of wheat.

He sends his command to the earth;
his word runs swiftly.
He spreads the snow like wool
and scatters the frost like ashes.
He hurls down his hail like pebbles.
Who can withstand his icy blast?
He sends his word and melts them;
he stirs up his breezes, and the waters flow.

Adam had a pretty good day considering his dose of the neuro-stimulant is still so low.  He started his day with me bathing him, shaving him, dressing him, and getting him all ready for therapies.  He even assisted in holding the edge of the bed when we was laying on his side so that I could wash his back.  The more he assists with holding on, or helping to roll from side to side, theses movements help change his status.  Right now he is total dependant, total care, but he sometimes is a maximum assist which is the next level down.  We are getting close to being a maximum assist with times of being a moderate assist.    He is getting strong again!  I am so proud of him.  In Speech today he was able to consistently move his eyes to the right... he has troubles moving his eyes and head to the right, and he did both today!  When I walked in he turned his head to the right to find the sound of my voice!  In physical therapy with Erin, Adam did a lot of movement in his hands, arms, toes, and legs when she asked him.  In occupational therapy with Becky, Adam did great, he played tug-a-war and did awesome pulling his end of the sheet.  He also did great sitting up today, he was able to hold himself up for a bit, when he would start to fall he would try to correct himself from falling over, this is awesome!    This goes to show he had appropriate responses to stimulus.  God is performing miracles in Adam's recovery every day, and we will continue to trust in Him.

I am missing Adam so much these days that the pain seems unbearable.  I miss our conversations, I miss sharing a bed, I miss his touch as he walks past me.  I miss him getting so passionate about something that when he shares it with me, he can hardly contain himself.  I miss him walking through the front door after work greeting me with a hug and a kiss, I miss our morning devotions over a cup of coffee, I miss riding in the car with him, I miss serving with him, I miss being in the kitchen preparing meals together, I miss his competitve nature, I miss his laugh,  I miss hearing him tell me he loves me... I miss him so much that as I am typing I can no longer see the screen because the tears won't stop. I miss him.

Please, I beg you, please don't stop praying for Adam's FULL restoration.  Please pray for him.  We need your prayers daily, please, please keep praying for my man.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Sundays Have Always Been Family Days

Hebrews 13:15 "therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name."  There is so much that I am praising God for and my heart and prayer is that my lips will continually profess His name, and praise Him for being the King of kings, and Lord of lords.

I love Sundays, I look forward to Sunday all week.  It has always been our family day, and for the most part it still is.  It's usually the only day of the week all 3 of us are together all day.  Mackenzie and I packed our bags, and set up camp in Adam's room today. We had such a great day, Adam was pretty sleepy today.  Mackenzie set up her arts and crafts, and she and I played games, and hung out.  I know I have said this before but I love it when all 3 of us are together, there is something so normal about it, even in the midst of our lives in a not so normal state right now.

I was able to get Adam to give me thumbs up when I asked, and to hold my hand when I asked him to reach for my hand!  Which I believe shows he understands and can process, so please keep praying for Adam's ability to process and speak.  He continues to make gains and I know it's because so many of you are praying for him, thank you... keep 'em coming!

This afternoon, while Adam was napping, Mackenzie and I went exploring near the hospital... we had a really good time.  I am so thankful that I was given such an amazing gift.  She is truly an amazing kid with an enormous heart. I pray often that God would bless Mackenzie with a heart like His and I love it when I can see that.  Thank you for praying for her too, God hears your prayer, thank you!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Finding God's Strenth Every Moment

Tonight is going to be a quick update...

2 Thessalonians 3:3 "But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen and protect you"  I believe God is strengthening Adam with every passing moment in this journey, he is strengthening his, mind, body, and spirit.  Adam had a busy day today, I got to Spaulding early this morning to get Adam bathed and dressed for his first day of therapies in a week.  I am so proud of Adam, he worked so hard today.  He started with occupational therapy with Becky, Adam did a good job, he definitely tried to engage, when she asked him to sit and hold himself up... but he was pretty sleepy this morning and struggled through the session.  No time for rest because he had physical therapy right after, where he seemed to wake up a little, Erin will be his primary physical therapist again, but she was off today and Kim filled in for her.  Adam did great, Kim worked on stretching Adam and he didn't mind (usually this is not his favorite therapy).  Then we got Adam up in his wheelchair, it was so great to have Adam up and around for a bit.  Next he had speech, Adam tracked and followed some pictures as she asked him to.  He was trying to say something and vocalized quite a bit. 

This evening, Adam was trying so hard to talk to me... it will only be a matter of time before he will talk.  He wasn't in pain, or in any discomfort and at one point I was trying so hard to figure out what he saying,... he reached for my hand and squeezed it continuing to try to communicate.  We did figure it out and he fell asleep right afterwards, from trying so hard to tell me that his toes were scrunched funny.  I asked the nurse to order a bed extender and that seemed to help.  Adam is so patient with me as I learn new ways to communicate and help him.

I am so proud of him, I love him so much and I am so blessed and honored to be this man's wife.  He deserves every ounce of honor and respect I can give and more... he's an amazing man, and I thank God every day for the gifts in my life... Adam and Mackenzie.  James 1:17 "Every good and perfect gift is from above" 

Friday, November 12, 2010

Back To Spaulding We Go!

Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.  Psalm 33:22  Dear Lord, There are so many things for which we hope, Lord: for restoration, health, for success, for safety, for peace. We hope that things will be better next year than they were this year. Yet, as noble as our hopes might be, You are the only certain hope. You alone are truly faithful. You alone deserve our full confidence. So even as we hope for many good things, we remember to put our hope most of all in You.  Lord, Your love satisfies us. Your love, given in Christ and renewed within us through the Spirit, keeps us centered in You, O God our hope.  Amen.

Today has been a victory once again!  Thank you all so much for praying for Adam to make gains and return back to where he was... the minute I walked into Adam's room today he was so alert and awake!  He followed me as I walked around his room.  He looks awesome today, so much better than he has in the last couple of days.  And for still not being on any neuro-stimulants, he's doing even more amazing!  This afternoon I took advantage of his alertness and asked him to give me a thumbs up, he gave me the most exaggerated thumbs up I have seen yet!  Not only that be he did it 4 times in a row with rests in between, finally on the 4th time I asked him I got my camera out and took a video of it!!!  He again gave me such an exaggerated thumbs up it was awesome!  The goal is to have Adam continue to work on a thumbs up and preform it every time he's asked.  Without trying to get an answer from him, just to preform the request of the thumbs up.  Once he is consistent with that, then we will work with him on establishing communication with a thumbs up (like yes's and no's), but we have to establish a consistent thumbs up first, and we are getting there!!!!  Again this is all on Adam's own doing and without the help of any medication!!!  This is amazing!

It's official, we made it back to Spaulding Rehab Hospital early this evening.  Riding with Adam back and forth to so many hospitals, I've ridden in more ambulances then I could ever have imagined.  Adam starts all his therapies tomorrow, I can't wait to get back into routine of therapies again... a week without seems like such a long time.  The doctor is also going to restart his neuro-stimulant tomorrow, so this should help Adam return quickly doing the things he was before.We did receive the mail that was sent there, so if you sent us something, thank you!  Getting care packages, letters, and postcards truly mean more than I could say in words.  It's such a tangible way for us to see that so many of you are in this with us and praying every step of the way.  Thank you so much, we are so blessed, God will repay what I cannot.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Thank You Military and Families

I just want to take a moment and thank all those who have served, currently serving and their families for their service to our great nation.  I am forever grateful for what you all have done and continue to do on a daily basis.  Thank you for fighting for my freedom and for my family.  I want to especially thank our good friend Matt for his service and his families sacrifice this last year as he served in Afghanistan, thank you Matt, Lisa, and kids, you all have blessed us so much with your service.

We have an answer... finally!  So Adam had his MRI last night and we ended up getting the results late this afternoon.  I had to get patient relations involved so that we can speed along our process at MGH, thankfully they jumped on board and are looking into how they can make their system run more effiectly.  Anyway, the MRI showed that Adam's shunt may be draining too much CSF, this is referred to as overshunting.  Thankfully this has such a quick and painless fix.  The neurosurgeon comes in and uses a magnet againist the placement of the shunt and they twist it to the next level with a special magnet that reads the shunts level at the same time.  It's awesome that Adam has a programmable shunt otherwise this would have required a surgery... thank God that his shunt is programmable!  So they wanted to keep Adam overnight for observation and looks like if all goes well, we get to go back to Spaulding tomorrow!  I can't wait to return, we have lost some ground while being at MGH and I am eager to gain it back.

Since it was Veterans Day, Mackenzie didn't have school today and we had a great day together.  We spent most of it with Adam, but we did walk across the street and down 2 blocks to Spaulding.  Last week Mackenzie met a little girl on the pediatric floor who is a year younger than she is, they are becoming friends.  Last week while Mackenzie had an appointment with the Child Life Specialist at Spaulding  she saw this little girl in physical therapy relearning how to walk.  Mackenzie, with her own money, bought her a special pair of socks that have the grippers on the bottom to keep your feet from sliding.  They were purple and had butterflies on they because this little girl loves the color purple and butterflies... how sweet is that.  It was so cute watching the 2 girls together this afternoon, I think it brought healing for both of them.  They scheduled another play date for next week.

Please pray specifically for Adam as we are getting ready to transfer back to Spaulding.  Pray that we will be able to gain back quickly the ground that has been lost.  Pray again, please, for Adam to make huge leaps ahead in his recovery.  Please pray for continued progress in his therapies.  Pray that this latest adjustment of his shunt will help propel him forward.  Pray for Adam, Mackenzie, and I to be healthy as we head into cold and flu season.  Above all pray for Adam's FULL restoration, FULL recovery.  1 John 5:14 and 15 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Not My Day

I probably should have taken a clue and went back to bed this morning... I was feeling really lonely this morning as I was riding the train into the hospital, I thought I would cheer myself up by walking 3 blocks out of the way just to go to Starbucks (which happens to be a luxury treat for me), anyway I get all the way there in the bitter cold and rain, just to find out that it was closed due to a remodel... are you kidding me, couldn't they at least set up a curb side stand (oh wait that would be Seattle).

The day didn't look any better by the time I got to the hospital and found out that Adam wasn't on the schedule anytime soon for his MRI, he was suppose to have in the wee hours of the morning and since he didn't, during the daytime MGH gives priority to the outpatients for MRI's... I thought this was a little backwards.  I was beyond frustrated because they are waisting our time.  If Adam has an infection they waisted over 24 hours that they could be treating it and if he doesn't then they waisted another day that Adam isn't getting therapy.  ARGH.

Then shortly after that, I got into with the respiratory therapist (RT) who decided that he knew what was best for Adam even though this was his first day treating him.  So the RT wanted to cap Adam's trach considering he looks good and his oxygen levels have been perfect.  I tried explaining to the RT that Adam has a granulated tissue (this blocks Adam's airway from him being able to take in air through his mouth, the tissue is sitting above the trach in his airway) that has to be removed, and because of this he cannot tolerate the cap.  He preceded to tell me that he was the RT and has been doing this much longer than me, at which point I silently gave it to God and trusted that He was in control.  So he capped Adam and within 30 minutes Adam was tachycardic (high heart rate), and was working so hard to breath that he even increased his temperature.  I didn't even ask permission, I instantly removed the cap and had the nurse page respiratory to let him that Adam will no longer where the cap until his granulated tissue has been resolved, but thank you RT for making my husband your experiment for your ego, I greatly appreciate it.

By now you can see that I let my flesh get the better of me this morning.  So this afternoon I closed the door to Adam's room and sat in quiet for over an hour, then I started talking with Adam and praying.  I meditated on Galations 5 today, verses 16-18, 22, and 23... "But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."  I was allowing my flesh to overtake my emotions instead of walking in the Spirit.  I had to do something about that so I prayed and asked that God would soften my heart today, that He would renew my mind, ridding me of any frustrations, anger, and the bad attitude I was holding onto to.  I asked that He would allow the fruits of the spirits to manifest themselves through me.  I had to make a conscience effort today to not let my flesh get the better of me, but instead ask for forgiveness for my attitude, thoughts, and my flesh.  I am so thankful that God removes our transgressions as far as the east is from the west.  I am so thankful for His undeserving grace and mercy.

As I made the effort to focus on God and walk in the spirit my day started to look up.  Mackenzie and I spent some awesome time together this evening and Adam was able to get up and into a wheelchair with one of the hospitals physical therapists.  Tonight finally around 9:15pm he was taken for his MRI, so we should hear the results hopefully by lunch time tomorrow.  Praise God that He is in control.  I am so thankful that He is such a patient teacher, because I definitely got a lesson in walking in the Spirit today and the lesson learned was this... just like most things we have a choice, I had the choice to walk in my flesh and be in a grouchy mood and I had the choice to walk in the Spirit and trust that His promises are true, He never leaves us, He can work all things together for good, He has plans for hope and healing.  I am truly praising Him for being so merciful in forgiving me.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Another Day At MGH

Psalm 91:9-10 "If you say, 'The Lord is my refuge,' and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent" Tonight I am declaring that the Lord is my refuge and I am so grateful and thankful to have a refuge. 

Today has been a long day.  Adam is still at Mass. General Hospital.  Adam has 4 teams of doctors rounding on him, general medicine, neurology, infectious disease, and neurosurgery... it seems like they are all having difficulties communicating, because once one team signs off on Adam another one decides to try another test.  So far all Adam's tests have been negative, he has not had another fever, but they don't seem to be convinced that he's not fighting an infection.  The only thing that changed today is one of his final CSF samples that they took on Friday, today showed that it had elevated protein levels in his CSF.  This does not mean he has an infection, it just means they need to figure out why.  So that's what we are waiting for, we are waiting for the "why" to show up in some other test.  The neurologists ordered an MRI for Adam and he is scheduled for it first thing in the morning, so hopefully by tomorrow afternoon we should have some results.  Please keep praying that Adam is infection free and that he will make continued progress forward.

Please also pray for Mackenzie tonight, she has been home sick today with some cold, flu bug.  She spent most of her day sleeping it off and hopefully by tomorrow she will feel much better.

This afternoon while in Adam's room, I remade my list of all the things I am grateful for in this journey, doing this periodically throughout the journey really helps me to keep my focus on Christ and to continue to praise him for all the miracles He has already preformed, and for taking care of every single need and every single detail.  I worship a mighty God who has shown no bounds in His love for me and my family.  Amazing is His love.  If any of you are struggling I encourage you to make a list of what you are thankful for in your current circumstance, you are bound to find joy.  Also, Ask God to make His desires your desires. Pray for God to replace your self-centered desires with His own desires for your life, which will result in greater good. As a result, you'll experience peace even when you're suffering. This is something that I too am praying, I am praying that God make His desires, my desires, because I would not choose this, but I can see that He has purpose for our current circumstances and He will and has used it for good, I am continuing to trust in Him.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Foundation In Prayer

I am so grateful and thankful for all of you.  I have really felt all your prayers the last several days.  We were hoping to be transferred back to Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital today, but it looks like it will take place tomorrow morning.  Adam and I enjoyed a peaceful day today, we read, listened to music, and cuddled up for a nice nap together, I told Adam it was going to be back to work tomorrow.  Adam seems so much better to me, and all his doctors here at Massachusetts General Hospital agree, that he looks so much better than he did on Friday and Saturday.

Mackenzie is still really enjoying school and her life out here.  She continues to be adjusting well, I attribute it to all your prayers. 

As I was having my quiet time this morning and then again when Adam and I had our devotion time this morning, "foundations" were apart of both devotions.  I know how important it to build a foundation on the Lord Jesus Christ, but one thing I have been learning through this journey is the importance of building our foundation on Jesus Christ, requires building it with a foundation of prayer.  Through prayer we create the most intimate relationship we will ever experience. I believe that prayer is a huge component to building a foundation on the Jesus Christ.  Prayer is simply cconversing with God, talking to Him, listening to Him, and being still in His presence. We have the freedom to share our thoughts and hopes...our feelings,  doubts, problems, and joys. Prayer brings life to our relationship with God.  Through having a steady foundation in Him and through prayer, I know I can ask Him for what seems to be the impossible and believe and know He has heard and His will, will be done.

Mark 10:27 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

Mark 11:22-24 "Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Remaining In Him

I am marveling at how well God takes care of every need and desire.  Last night when I posted how much I needed sleep, God provided an extra hour through daylight savings ending.  I woke up ridiculously early, but it was so great to get to the hospital so early... and I have felt rested all day.  So thank you for praying for me, and my family.

Adam had a good day today.  He was awake and alert, and had periods of very restful sleep.  So far every test result has come back negative and whatever was going on with him seems to be resolving. We are still waiting his vascular ultrasound (this will check for any blood clots), but we should know the results by morning, and usually no news right aways means good news.  There has been talk of Adam being discharged from MGH tomorrow and sent back to Spaulding in the morning, so this is good!

Mackenzie and I enjoyed our day with Adam, we hung out and made his room home for the day.  I know Adam enjoys when we are there around him and fighting over who gets to be in the bed with him.  Tonight before we left I read to both Adam and Mackenzie, it was so nice to spend time as a family, may not be how we used to spend time together, but none the less, anytime we are together is so wonderful and such a gift, something I will never take for granted.

Each moment is a gift we are given, I am so thankful that God has given me so many wonderful moments with Adam and Mackenzie.  That I was chosen to be Adam's wife and Mackenzie's mom, what a blessing and a gift I will forever treasure.  I love Jim and Elizabeth Elliot, their story is amazing and how God used both of them amazes me.  I have read many of Elizabeth's writings and she often quotes from Jim's journal.  In one of her writings she wrote this quote from Jim's journal, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." She goes onto write, "The stillness in which we find God is not superficial, a mere absence of fidgeting or talking. It is a deliberate and quiet attentiveness--receptive, alert, ready." 

This quietness in the presence of God, this being "all there" for Him, though I treasure it and long for it, is not easy to maintain.  When I stay in the moment, it's so much easier for me to remain in God's presence because I am remaining in Him when I keep my focus on the moment He has given me.  In John 15:4 Jesus says "Remain in me, as I also remain in you."  I encourage you, at the same time I am challenging myself to, as Jim Elliot wrote, "wherever you are, be all there", be all in the moment that God has given you.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Angels Watching Over Us

Thank you so much for all your prayers, and words of encouragement, they have meant so much to us.  I have only had about 3 hours of sleep in the last 2 days and I am exhausted so I am going to make this a very quick update. 

So far all of Adam's tests have not located the source of infection.  Adam had a long day today, he has been neurologically storming today, he hasn't stormed since middle to end of August.  This alerted me and has been a red flag all day.  I was told that his storming could be a result of seizure, but I am not so convinced just yet... I have asked that every test be done to locate the infection.  In the morning Adam will have a vascular ultrasound done to check for blood clots, tomorrow we should find out his blood culture results as well.  I spoke with Dr. Chae today and asked that he help figure out what's wrong with Adam.  He suggested that they stop the neuro-stimulant for now until they locate the infection. Please pray for all those who are taking care of my man, pray for wisdom and decernment when they make decisions for Adam's care.  Pray that the doctors will be able to locate the infection and that Adam will be able to get back to Spaulding quickly.

As I prayed over Adam today he was looking up and around so much, I asked him if he sees angels and he looked at me and then up again.  When he made eye contact with me, I asked him to look at an angel if he sees one, he looked right up.  I truly believe that angels are standing guard over Adam. I know God is with Adam in moments when I am not.  I am so thankful that God is always watching over us.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Change Of Scenery

It's been a wild day today.  Adam woke up with a fever of 102 this morning, I mentioned yesterday I thought he might not be feeling good since his stomach has been so upset... anyway, he did awesome today in therapy.  In OT with Becky they have a special bicycle that you peddle with your arms, Adam did awesome and today he showed us that his right side was quite strong!  In PT with Erin he stood with her for quite some time!  He's getting stronger every day!

Adam had a rough afternoon, he suffered another grand mal seizure and ended up at Massachusetts General Hospital for a full work up of tests and observation.  Actually, I am currently at Adam's side in the emergency room waiting for Adam's bed to be ready on the floor.  He is being admitted for a minimum of 2 days for observation and until his blood results come back.  So far all his other tests, labs, and exams have come back normal!  He had a CT that actually shows improvement since the last one, his labs all look good, his xrays are normal!  We have to wait 48-72 hours for blood cultures before we know if he is fighting another blood infection, which is why they are keeping us here.  The already started him on a strong course of antibiotics, and he is finally resting now.  I am praying that Adam will continue to check out fine and that we will be admitted back to Spaulding in time for therapies on Monday.

I am so thankful for the family that Mackenzie and I are living with.  She has been able to stay at home with them while I have been here with Adam today.  Mackenzie and I are living with a couple named Lester and Sharon... Sharon and her husband Lester opened their home to Mackenzie and I and we have been so blessed by their generosity. 

God is so faithful at continuing to provide all that is needed every moment of this journey. I am so thankful that today He has prepared the path and all that has been needed. We are trusting in Him tonight for rest, and in His plans for Adam's recovery, we are trusting that He will use all of this for His glory.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Faith That Only God Provides

Today has been a long day.  Mackenzie had a great time in her meeting with the child life specialist, Kim, at Spaulding today, thank you for keeping her in your prayers.  Spaulding has a pediatric floor where kids are admitted for rehab, Kim's office is on the pediatric floor so Mackenzie was able to meet a girl her age who has similar interests, Anna is her name.  Anna has been a patient at Spaulding for awhile, and she and Mackenzie made a play date for next week. They are getting together for arts and crafts, I thought this was awesome!  She seems to be adjusting well up here not just to life in a hospital, but outside the hospital as well, she is really enjoying school and our home!  Praise the Lord!

Adam had an okay day today, I will start with the good part... in PT today with Erin he helped put on his tennis shoes, he lifted his foot up and stuck his foot into the shoe, GO ADAM!!!!  I will ask that you please pray for 2 specific health needs for Adam 1. he has had an upset stomach the last couple of days, so please pray that the doctors will be able to figure that out and fix it. 2. His cold he had last week is still present, he has had a stuffy nose and has been breathing out of his mouth, his mouth and tongue are really dry, so please pray that his nose will clear up. 

I did have our first family meeting at Spaulding.  It went okay.  I know so many of you want to help, and I am asking you to help us by not giving up on praying for my man.  Please continue to pray for his healing, his FULL restoration.  I know all things are possible through Christ.  I will not loose hope or faith that God will restore Adam.  I am so grateful that God supplies all my needs, including my faith to continue each day in this journey.  1 Timothy 6:12 "Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called "  Remembering that suffering is for such a short period of time when compared to enterity in heaven.   When keeping this in mind, it's easier to ask God to help us fight a good fight of faith... I will continue to ask God for the faith needed for each day.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Postcards, A Football, and Moments

I am so excited to hear that so many people are following our blog and some of you are new and have asked about the significance of the postcards... We are so blessed to have so many people praying for Adam and for us, and so many of you have been so kind to let us know.  I felt like there were times I needed a visual reminder that there are so many of you out there partnering with us in this journey and in the difficult moments and hard days I really needed the visual.  So the end of July I posted asking you all to send in postcards from the cities that you have been praying for Adam.  This has been amazing, we have received postcards from all over the world!  Every postcard that has come in has been read to Adam and I remind him that there are so many people praying for him, it reminds me that we are not alone, and it has served as an awesome witness to the nurses and staff at the hospital as I share the purpose behind the postcards. 

If you have not sent it a postcard yet, it's never too late, we have consistently been adding to the wall for the last several months.  All you have to do is send Adam a postcard of the city that you are living in, please include your name, and if you have a special verse to share with him include that on the postcard (if you city doesn't have a postcard then please get one from the state you are in and write the city on the back). I will be putting this all round Adam's wall in his room. I would love to fill his room with the postcards, so please do this for him... you don't even have to write anything if you don't want to.

Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital
Attn: Adam Root   Room: 817
125 Nashua St.
Boston, MA 02421

This last Sunday Mackenzie and I rehung the postcards along with the new additions we have received, Adam was so curious about what we were doing I had to put him in his wheelchair so he could watch.  I reread him the postcards as we hung them, it was so awesome and great for both of us!  God is so good!  Below is a current picture of Adam's postcard wall and as in continues to grow, I will update with pictures.

Adam had an okay day today, he amazes me what he goes through day after day and how hard he continues to work.  I see him gaining strength back every day!  Today during physical therapy Erin through a football at him and he opened his arms to catch it!  Before you know it, he's going to be back to throwing a Frisbee!  (For those of you who might know Adam, he LOVES to play ultimate Frisbee) 

Please pray for all 3 of us tomorrow.  Mackenzie has her first meeting with the Child Life Specialist here at Spaulding and tomorrow afternoon I have Adam's first team meeting tomorrow, where they discuss our plans at Spaulding and usually want to talk about our next step and where we're going from here.  God has been so good at reminding me the importance of staying in the moment and truly has allowed me to stay in the moment.  I don't like to think about the future when there is so much uncertainity on our parts, only God knows where Adam will be in the weeks to come and I just want to enjoy every victory along the way.  If I worry about what tomorrow may bring I miss out on the blessings God has given me for this moment.  I love the scripture verses Isaiah 26: 3 & 4 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal"  I know for me if I am trusting in God, my Rock, my fortress, my salvation, I am staying in the moment, because that is all He has given me right now, is this very moment.  Please don't misinterpret me, I am researching and doing everything that needs to get done for Adam's care, but I am not making any decisions now, when that time comes, God will bring to fruition where He would like us to go, just like He did with Boston.  I pray that we will be obedient to walk in His steps every moment He gives us.

Thank you all so much for praying for my back, today has been the best it has felt!  Praise the Lord!  I have been going to physical therapy, and a chiropractor and it all seems to be working well.  Today I actually got back to changing Adam by myself again!  This is a huge praise!

Today Mackenzie had a half day at school so she came and joined us at the hospital for the afternoon, I couldn't help but snap this photo of her on the subway as we were heading back to Spaulding.  She is loving the city life of Boston!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

UH HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our faith isn't based solely on the good times. If you remember when Jesus called the disciples he said simply "Come, follow me." He didn't mention to them to get their backpacks, or check on there affairs. He simply stated "come, follow me." He never promised that it would be easy and He didn't try to explain it. He wanted the disciples and He wants us to follow after Him. If you are hurting or suffering today I ask that you simply read James 1:1-4 and embrace the promise that we are being tested so that our joy may be made complete. May our joy be made complete today!

I am once again rejoicing in the joy that God has given me today!!!!  Adam has had another great day making HUGE gains!!! During occupational therapy with Becky, Adam sat on the edge of the therapy bench all by himself for over 10 minutes (the whole time he was sitting he was moving his head back and forth to and from noises), but can you believe that... 10 minutes!!!!  He's amazing!!!  Oh, it just gets better... during physical therapy with Erin,  Adam was on a special machine that suspends him in the air, allowing him to stand and Erin can control how much Adam is standing on his own.  At one point she had Adam holding all his own body weight and he was starting to get tired and was vocalizing that he was done.  Erin asked Adam several times if he needed to sit down and take a break and the fourth time she asked him he said UH HUH!!!!!!  My man is incredible!!!!  I AM SO PROUD OF YOU ADAM!!!!  Thank you Jesus for hearing the cries of my heart, please continue to heal Adam and please allow the ability to speak and process to continue to progress and allow Adam to miraculously be healed in these areas, it's in your powerful and mighty name I pray, Amen!!!!

Please keep praying for my man, he is amazing and has come such a long ways, and it's because you all have been so faithful to pray for him and to faithfully walk this journey with us.  Please continue to pray every day for Adam's speech and processing capabilities.  Never give up on praying for Adam's FULL recovery.

Adam's appointment with the ENT went okay.  Adam has a granulated tissue sitting on top of his trach that is causing some difficulty when inhaling.  This was most likely caused by Adam's acid reflux or GERD.  The doctor that he saw at Massachusetts General Dr. Song, prescribed Adam a double dose of this medication he is already on for his acid reflux, if in a month when we go back for his recheck, the tissue is still there, Adam will have to go through another surgery to get this removed.  It will be an operation because of the highly vascular area it's in.  I am praying and believing that in a month on Dec 1st when we go back for his appointment that they will not see a thing, that the tissue will have healed.  Please join me in praying for this as well, my man has already been through 12 surgeries, let's pray that he doesn't have to go through one more.  My God is bigger and He is mighty to heal... Amen?!!!!

When I was at Dr. Song's office today the nurse Kim and I got to talking and she shared with my that she is a believer and getting ready to share her testimony this weekend at a woman's retreat, please pray for her as she is sharing her testimony of hope, and God's goodness in her life. Pray that she will be able to have the spirit of boldness and not of timidity.  Pray for hearts to be open and prepared for what she has prepared to share.  Join me in keeping her in prayer all week.

I got so caught up in Adam's day today and spent the day rejoicing and praising God for all that He as done, that I forgot to take a picture of the postcard wall today, but I will make another attempt tomorrow. 

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