Thursday, September 30, 2010


MARK YOUR CALENDARS... OCTOBER 10th 6:30-8:00pm  Night of prayer for Adam's recovery and a time to worship God for all that He has done, is doing and what is yet to come.  This will be held at our church Triangle Community Church 4216 Kildaire Farm Rd, Apex, NC 27539 (click the link for directions).  If you are not in the area please consider joining us by setting this time aside and praying for Adam's recovery from wherever you are.

Adam had a great day today!  This morning in speech therapy he was being fed by the spoon thickened orange juice and for the first time ever we saw him bring his tongue out and lick the side of his mouth!  He also opened and closed his mouth to the spoon for the first time!  If he keeps this up and continues to swallow well he will get to try oatmeal on Monday!!!!  Real food!!!!  I am so incredibly touched by how hard I see Adam work every day, and day after day he keeps pushing himself and making strides to recover... he's amazing!

In physical therapy and occupational therapy this morning they had Adam sitting on the edge of the table in the gym. He was sitting while leaning over and he was uncomfortable, me moved his hand over to try to push up... he's doing it!!!  He's making intentional movements!  He's so strong!

Today was a day that I am rejoicing in.  God's mighty right hand is working in Adam's physical body to restore him and bring healing to Adam's brain.  Psalm 103: 3&4 "who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion" I am believing that God will touch and heal Adam's brain and his physical body much like he healed Adam's spiritual soul when Adam committed his life to Christ.  God washed us clean and forgave us of our sins, he redeems us from the pit (no matter how deep), and he heals disease, I believe God will heal Adam and I am continuing to pray full restoration, full recovery of Adam's physical body. 

I haven't heard yet the results from the culture done on his PICC line.  For now the plan of action is treating this infection that Adam is fighting with a 2 week course of antibiotics.  Please pray that when the antibiotics are completed there is no sign or trace of infection because then Adam will be given medical clearance to be medically airlifted to Boston!  We will find out October 12th if the antibiotics cleared the infection and if they did he will be medically stable to be airlifted by the 14th.  So that's the tentative plan.  I will keep you all posted for the exact date but we won't know until Oct. 12th when that will be.  My really good friend Stacy and I are going to Boston on Sunday and coming back Monday... she is coming with me to help me find an apartment and touring Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital.  So please pray for safe travels and that I will be able to find a place to live.

After lasts night's blog I have continued thinking of all the people that have blessed us and please know we are so incredibly grateful for all of you.  We are so blessed by the body of Christ, and it just continues... this morning several of our closest friends gathered at the hospital and helped come up with and process my "to-do"list.  It was so great to see so many people willing to take a task and run with it and also be able to pull in others... again we are so incredibly blessed by the body of Christ.  My "to-do" is made and I am not overwhelmed one bit... the body of Christ is holding us up and each of you are being used by God as vessels to take care of the details of this move that seem as though they could be overwhelming, but they aren't because is so faithful and He is taking care of the details and continues to provide for us... thank you.  There is so much peace in my heart.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

How Great Is Our God

I am continually amazed by God's faithfulness... He is so good.  I think back to a little over a week ago and I had a different facility picked out for Adam... I had been praying for several months that if God didn't want Adam to go to that facility to please open the door to another option.  God didn't just open the door, He opened the floodgates!  We have received so much confirmation that Spaulding is the best place for Adam to recover.  God is so great and so mighty, and I am honored to worship Him.  The lyrics keep running through my head... "How Great Is Our God".  So sing with me, how great is our God!

I haven't heard any more yet on the course of action the doctors will be taking as far as Adam's infection goes.  I am continuing to pray for complete healing, I am praying against sickness, and praying for complete restoration... please pray for healing from the infection.  We are awaiting the PICC line culture results, which should be in by Friday morning as to whether or not the PICC line was the source of infection.  Once the source is identified then the course of action will be planned.  Pray for wisdom and discernment for the doctors as they decide what course of action to take is best.  Right now the game plan is to have Adam on antibiotics for this bacterial infection for 2 weeks unless other symptoms come up or Adam declines (which I am believing he won't).  So the physician assistant today told me that the earliest they would most likely clear Adam to be medically airlifted would be two weeks. (This is good in the sense that it gives me two weeks to get everything sorted out and figured out)

I humbly ask each of you to please pray for mine and Mackenzie's health... Mackenzie has been feeling pretty crumby the last couple of days, I took her to her pediatrician today and she has croup.  Please pray for restoration of her health.  Please pray that God will continue to keep me healthy so I can take care of my family.

We have been so blessed by so many of you and I just want to say thank you.  I am not sure how I will ever truly be able to say thank you to all of you who have blessed us, my heart is filled with so my gratitude.  Leaving this area even for a short while is going to be so tough, you all have been amazing and such a wonderful support.  Our community and the church body here is like nothing I have ever experienced, I am overwhelmed with joy and thanksgiving for each of you.  Thank you.

A special thank you to Economy Exterminators of Apex, NC, thank you so much.  Thank you to our small group and home church Triangle Community Church (In the words of Mary, we have the best small group ever! You guys rock!), thank you Salem Baptist church... so many of you we have never had the privilege to meet and yet your church has been a tremendous support, thank you to our friends and family for your support and prayers, thank you to the NSICU nursing staff... you all continue to amaze me and encourage me, thank you to WakeMed nursing staff and therapy staff.  Thank you Samantha for driving so far just about every day to bring your dog Qui for Adam's pet therapy.  Thank you to Microsoft who has been amazing.  Thank you to all who have sent music, care packages, letters, and postcards our way, this has blessed us so much.   Thank you to Sharon Mackenzie at Spaulding who sees potential in my man and started fighting for him right away!  There are so many people that I want to thank and so many more that I want to include but then this blog post would never end so for now... thank you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  We love you all and we are praying for God to bless each of you.  Numbers 6:24-26 "The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace."
(Please know that if I didn't mention you, you are not forgotten... God sees it all and He will repay what I cannot... Adam, Mackenzie, and I have been blessed by each of you so much, thank you)

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"  Philippians 4:4  I am rejoicing, God is so amazing and so faithful, I am praising Him for all He has done for us.

It is with complete joy and excitement that I get to write to you all letting you know your prayers are so powerful!!!!  Insurance accepted the emerging consciousness program at Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital which is ranked 4th in the nation for rehabilitation hospitals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It's affiliated with Harvard University, so my man got into Harvard!!!!  We don't have our exact move date yet, insurance is pushing for Thursday but I am trying to push for at least a week to get things in order.  Lots to get done... and I am working on a "To-Do" and trying to find a starting point.

Adam's move date will depend on his infection he is fighting.  His abdominal CT showed no abscess which means no ecoli, so we spent today awaiting to see if his bacteria found in his blood matched the bacteria in his urine.  Which it didn't.  So now the search is on to try to find the source of the infection, the doctor ordered the PICC line to be removed to see if that is the source of infection.  If it's not then Adam will most likely go back to UNC to have his neurosurgeon tap his shunt to see if his cerebral spinal fluid is the source... this would mean the shunt would have to be removed and we would have to wait out the infection before a new one could be placed back in.  Please pray that the infection clears and goes away miraculously.  We are continuing to trust God's hand in all of this and we know and rest in the fact that He and only He sees the whole picture.  Please pray for healing.

Tonight we were really blessed, Adam belongs to a men's bible study that meets on Tuesday nights and with it being Tuesday they all showed up to the hospital (with a couple of their wives) to visit Adam.  Together, with all these men, and Adam's parents (who are in town visiting) we prayed over Adam and for his recovery and healing.  It was such a special moment.  At one point in time in prayer Adam started to vocalize as if he were praying too, after we were done he was wide awake and looking at everyone.  It was so great and I truly believe he knew exactly what was going on... he is doing so great and is so amazing!  Thank you Tuesday night men and wives!  We are so blessed to have such awesome and great friends! 

I am so proud of my man!  He is working so hard every day and every day he is getting better!  I respect Adam so much for how hard he works to get better... He's amazing!  I am so blessed that I can be the one to cheer him on.  Being Adam's wife has made me a better person, I love that man! 

Monday, September 27, 2010

God Is In Control Of The Details

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Tonight I am praying that God will continue to bring strength to Adam and uphold Adam with His righteous right hand.  I am also praying for strength for Mackenzie and I as we walk this journey as well.

So last night when I posted that the same bacteria that was in his urine was in his blood... that hasn't been confirmed yet.  I thought it had, but it hadn't, we won't know the bacteria that is in his blood until tomorrow.  So in the mean time Adam's iinfectious disease doctor Dr. Becherer at Wake jumped back on board to assess the scene.  He is thinking this is one of two things... it is either a bladder infection and therefore easily treated or it's ecoli that is potentially still in Adam's system.  To rule out ecoli Dr. Becherer ordered a CT of Adam's stomach and also started him on the same antibiotic he was on before for ecoli.  If his test shows that it's not ecoli and his stomach CT looks good then he will stop the antibiotic for the ecoli and keep him on the antibiotic for the bladder infection and Adam would be fine.  If it shows that this is ecoli it means a trip back to UNC to test the shunt for infection.  I am praying and believing that this is just a bladder infection (which I truly feel that a bladder infection is the cause) and the antibiotics will take their course and all will be well.  Please pray for this infection to clear quickly and for Adam's continued FULL recovery. 

I have not heard anything from my insurance yet about whether or not they approved the program, so please keep praying for the approval to come through.

Tonight I am really trusting that God is in control.  He knows all the details in our lives and He is in control of it all, praise God that I can pray for our circumstances and hand it all over to him knowing that He will take care of the details and all I have to do is trust in him, believe that He is in control, and be obedient to His guidance.  Lord, may I be obedient to your guiding and walk in your ways.  Please help me to trust in you with all my heart and not to lean on my own understanding... Lord, I give it all to you.  Thank you that I am not alone and that you are walking before me.  I adore you and love you.  In Jesus' mighty name I pray, Amen.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

What A Day

All I can say is... what a day.  It started with Adam still running a temperature and not feeling good, but he was resting so comfortably that Mackenzie and I went to church.  It has been so great going to church the last several weeks.  After church Mackenzie let me know she wasn't feeling too good.  We ran to the hospital to check on Adam (Mackenzie stayed outside), Adam's fever was up to 103... which means infection.  So they were running all sorts of blood work, and lab tests.  At this point I decided it was better to be safe than sorry, I ran Mackenzie to urgent care to get her looked at since she has been exposed to strep throat and was complaining of a sore throat.  God is so good, thankfully, Mackenzie checked out to be just fine.  All her labs came back negative and she is just battling a typical cold.  The doctor gave her plenty of children masks to wear to the hospital and in Adam's room. 

Adam's tested positive for a bladder infection.  His blood test also tested positive for the same bacteria that was in his urine.  So the doctor just ordered his antibiotics to be given through IV so that it goes through his blood stream and all will be well.  Please pray that the antibiotics take care of the infection quickly.  Pray that Adam has strength for therapy tomorrow.  After his first dose of antibiotics he was already doing much better.  Please pray for health to return to his body. Pray specifically for his muscle tone.  Infection makes his muscle tone worse and we are seeing that, he is a little more stiff the last several days, so please pray that his muscles will relax and he will be more comfortable without having to increase his muscle tone medication.  Please also pray that God's will, will be done, praying that He will guide our steps and take us to the right places for Adam's recovery.  Jeremiah 17:14 "Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise."

After urgent care, my really good friend Stacy came to be with Mackenzie so that I could go be at the hospital with Adam and figure out everything going on with him.  I did ask the doctor to order a head CT just to make sure nothing neurologically was going on.  Which I didn't think anything was but I needed reassurance.  His CT scan looked good, praise the Lord.  So Adam is being treated with the right course of antibiotics and with lots of sleep.  Please just pray for his health, and for continued progress and FULL recovery.  He is still doing awesome, still communicating with thumbs up and I am counting my blessings. 

I have so much that I am thankful for, God has filled my heart with praise.  In church this morning we sang the hymn "How great thou art"  And all day I have found myself pondering how great He is, even when I was awaiting Adam's test results and I was having to remind myself each moment to wait patiently, to wait on the Lord because He is so mighty and powerful and no matter what He is in control.  He created the earth in 6 days, He parted the red sea and rescued the Israelites from slavery, He used a child to kill a giant, He brought down an entire city at the sound of trumpets blowing, He protected Daniel from the lions, He was in the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego, He made the lame walk, the mute talk, He raised the dead, He took my sins and bore them on the cross so that I may have everlasting life... How great thou art.  He is so worthy of all my worship and so much more, I am so unworthy of being in His presence and yet He invites me in... How great thou art.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Lots To Rejoice In And Lots To Pray For

I am still rejoicing in Adam's good day yesterday... Yesterday and today Adam was visited by a service dog named Kiki.  Kiki and her owner Samantha have started visiting Adam daily.  Yesterday Adam pet Kiki and he kept his eyes on her the whole time.  He has responded so positively to Kiki each time!  Yesterday Amelia, Adam's nurse was trying to get Adam to say thank you to Kiki and Samantha and he was trying so hard, he stuck his tongue out twice as if he was trying to say thank you!  This is huge because Dierdre (speech therapy) has been working with Adam for a week and half to try to stick his tongue out and now he did!  I am so proud of him!  It's only a matter of time before he starts to speak again!  Go Adam!

Yesterday the doctor downsized Adam's trach and capped his trach which means Adam is doing all the work on his own.  No oxygen needed and he is doing all the breathing on his own, this is awesome!  The doctor is getting ready to take out his trach.  He has been capped now for almost 48 hours, he's doing awesome!  Go Adam!

Today Adam spiked a fever, please pray against sickness.  He has been showing signs of discomfort and pain.  So far all his labs have come back negative, which is great.  Please pray for him.  Pray specifically for his muscle tone.  The doctor cut his muscle tone medication in half and while it's making Adam much more alert and aware, it's also making his tone worse.  Please pray for his tone to get better so that he doesn't have to go back on more tone medication.  He has been responding so much more since they have decreased it.

Psalm 27:14 (ESV) "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"  I am having to choose moment by moment to wait on the Lord... He has Adam in His hands and only He knows what direction He will be taking us.  Please continue to pray for our insurance to approve the program that Adam got accepted into.  God is so faithful at providing so much peace when all seems crazy.  Tonight I am am relishing in His peace. 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Rejoicing In A Good Day

Tonight is going to be another quick update... lots is going on (good stuff) and I have been trying to spend the evening with my awesome kiddo and we're having a girls night and we're getting ready for our slumber party.

Adam had another great day!  I will share all the awesome details tomorrow...

I found out that Adam did get accepted into the program that I have been telling you all about, but insurance hasn't approved it yet.  Please pray that insurance will approve this program.  I was told we probably won't find out till Tuesday whether or not they will approve it.  I will share details when I know for sure it's all a go.  Please join me in praying for wisdom and discernment for those who are in this decision making process at our insurance company.

I am continuing to trust that God is in control of every detail of Adam's recovery.  Tonight I am giving thanks for far along Adam has come!  I am seeing miracles in Adam everyday and I am rejoicing in my miracles today!  Psalm 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."


We have a huge insurance need and I am asking for you all to pray for insurance to approve this need we have.  I will update more later, please pray!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Being Strengthened By God

I am so proud of my man.  He has worked so hard today.  Adam's day began with speech therapy and Deirdre has been working with Adam on this new treatment.  She places electrodes on Adam's neck and it vibrates his neck to help stimulate swallowing.  Adam has been responding so well to this treatment.  His swallowing has been getting better and with less delays.  Adam was tolerating her session so well that she doubled her time with him this morning.  By the time Adam was done with speech he was exhausted from working so hard they let him get an hour and half break so that he could rest.  He swallowed ice and pudding!  GO ADAM!!!

Adam's day just kept getting better, later when physical therapy and occupational therapy was stretching him out he moved his right hand to the place where they were stretching him!  This is huge because left brain control right side of the body so to see such great movement on the right is incredible.  My man is incredible!  Love him!!!  And it keeps getting better... this afternoon Adam was in his wheelchair and started to make some noises trying to let me know something, once I checked every comfort thing I realized it was that he was uncomfortable and ready to go back to bed.  I grabbed my camera and put it on video and recorded... I asked Adam to give me a thumbs up if he was ready to go back to bed.  At first he lifted his whole hand, and then I told him I just needed his thumb.  He then started shaking his thumb and then it went up!!!!  And I got the whole thing on video, I ran out to the nurses station and showed it to them!!!  We right away got Adam back to bed and he fell asleep right away, he was so tired.  GO ADAM!!!  YOU"RE DOING IT!!!!

Today Adam was visited by two pet therapists who brought in their dogs.  With both visits he moved his hand and stretched out his fingers to pet the dogs.  He loves those pet therapy visits!  I would have to say today was an awesome and exciting day.

I haven't heard anything just yet from the facility that I mentioned last night.  I am trusting that God has plans and I am choosing to wait patiently... I have had to remind myself to wait patiently today.  I am so excited about he potential of this program that I can hardly wait to hear something.  Please continue to pray that Adam will be accepted and that this facility will accept our insurance, then pray that our insurance will approve it.  I am trusting and believing that God is in control, and I can't wait to see the direction he will guide our family in.  I am praying for God to continue to strengthen Adam so that Adam will leap ahead in progressing further in this journey.  I have been praying Colossians 1:10-12 over him today "And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you"  It's amazing to see God strengthen Adam for his tasks at hand.  I am so excited for what God is doing and what is still to come!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Trusting And Not Doubting

I am so grateful that my sister was able to send a quick update yesterday... yesterday was a whirlwind and today has been much of the same.

My day yesterday started with Adam's neuropsychologist examining him and determining that he was a still a Rancho 2, but that he was pushing a 3. I personally feel Adam is operating at a 3. I am there just about all day every day with him and I am able to see so much more than she can. This was only her second time meeting Adam, so I was a little upset by this. I run into the hall as often as I can to get nurses to document all that I see, but if it's not repeated and they don't see it, then it doesn't count. Adam is making so much progress and it's only a matter of time before they will see it consistently.

I have been trying for the last 2 months to find a program called an emerging consciousness program. The military operate 4 in the United States but I have had an impossible time finding one for civilians. It's a cutting edge program that helps patients like Adam move and progress out of a coma and onto rehab. For the last 2 months I have spent hours and hours researching different facilities and hospitals and I felt like I kept hitting a brick wall.

Then yesterday after meeting with the neuropsychologist I felt like hope was dwindling away, I was desperate for God to comfort me and open a door... and in my desperation and prayer He so faithfully did open a door! I found the only emerging consciousness program in the States that takes civilians. Adam has a really good chance at making it into the program. The doctors at this hospital have already been in touch with WakeMed and our insurance to try to evaluate whether or not this program will be a good fit. All this is good news and a good sign, however, we won't find out till Friday whether or not Adam has been accepted. Please pray that God's will, will be done. Pray that doors will open and things will fall into place if this is the right facility for Adam to go to and pray that if it's not then the doors will close and God will guide our steps to the right facility. I will let you know more details about the facility when we find out Adam's been accepted. Please pray. Please.

With this new development came a ton of phone calls for me, I was on the phone most of the day yesterday and this afternoon with insurance, Adam's employer (which his company is amazing!), and this potential facility. It's been a little hectic and emotional... but God is so good about bringing peace into such a crazy situation if I just trust him.

Today I had the opportunity to see the sunrise from the North Carolina coast (story to come in a moment) anyway, as I was sitting there this morning having my quiet time with God I read Matthew 14 where Jesus walks on water the story illustrates a story of trusting in God and not doubting. Jesus told Peter to "Come" and Peter walked onto the water and when the winds kick up takes his eyes off the Lord and begins to doubt and sink. Peter then reached out for Christ to save him and Jesus picked him up and put him back on the boat. Seeing this and how God is always there to reach out and save us if we call on Him. How much more should we be able to trust and not doubt when God calls us to "come"... we have this story we see the victory in this story we see that God is there to pick us up when we doubt... how much easier just to trust and not doubt, because we know God is there. I couldn't help but to reflect on my last 24 hours prior to this and I felt like God is telling me to "Come"... to trust in him fully and completely no matter where He takes us in this journey. One of my footnotes to this passage reads "Although we start out with good intentions, sometimes our faith falters. This doesn't necessarily mean we have failed. When Peter's faith faltered, he reached out to Christ, the only one who could help. He was afraid, but he still looked to Christ. When you are apprehensive about the troubles around you and doubt Christ's presence or ability to help, you must remember that he is the only one who can really help." I am trusting and not doubting that God has plans for Adam and plans to bring forth a FULL recovery... I am trusting in Him every step of the way through this journey and will continue to do so.
Today's Sunrise
So back to the North Carolina sunrise story... Our really good friends Scott and Stacy are at the beach this week with Scott's family and invited Mackenzie and I to join them. At first I said no way and couldn't think about getting away, but then with Monday and Tuesday being such difficult days and a little overwhelming I found myself needing a moment to get out of the hospital which seemed to feel as if it was closing in on me. Sitting in Adam's room yesterday afternoon I thought about how great it would be to go sit on the beach and pray for Adam, and play with Mackenzie. It was great to be with such awesome friends that are family for us, Scott and Stacy, Jim and Pat (Scott's parents), and Irvin and Kim and there 3 beautiful and fun kids.

Jim & Pat and Scott & Stacy
Mackenzie sitting on the deck looking at God's amazing creation

Scott, Mackenzie, Katie, and Daniel looking for crab
Scott and Stacy
Mackenzie and I playing in the ocean

Thank you so much to all of you. You all have been amazing support and provided for us in so many ways. We are so blessed to have so many great friends, family, and even so many of you who have blessed us and don't even know us... thank you so much, God will repay what I cannot and I pray God blessed you all.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

A Quick Update...

This is Brooke, Amy's sister, and she asked that I give you all a quick update on today's events as she is without internet access for the night. She will provide a more in-depth update tomorrow.

The neuropsychologist was able to assess Adam and concluded that as of today he is still at a 2 on the Rancho Coma Scale. We are asking for your continued prayers to heal Adam and trust and hold onto knowing that God is in full control over this whole journey and Adam's recovery.

Additionally, Amy found a potential rehabilitation program for Adam today and we are praying that he can get into this program. We are asking for your prayers on this matter and should know more about the program and status of being accepted by this Friday.

Our whole family would like to thank all of you for your continued support and prayers for Amy, Adam and Mackenzie! It means the world to us and we know how much it has touched their lives as well.

Our God is an Awesome God!

Monday, September 20, 2010

On My Knees Tonight

The joy of the Lord is my strength, and will continue to be so.

Today has been a hard and difficult day. I knew what was coming, but it just doesn’t make it any easier. The doctors and therapists decided to give Adam 3 weeks. Adam is continuing to make progress; he held his head up for awhile several times when being asked! I am so proud that he is working so hard and trying to do everything he is being asked. I believe that in 3 weeks we are going to see the Lord’s hand in Adam’s healing, we are going to continue to see progress that will cause the doctors and therapists to be speechless. I believe that God see the darkness of this situation and he has plans to burst forth with light and we will see His promises birthed into life.

Tomorrow morning at 8am (Eastern Standard Time) Adam will be being assessed by the neuropsychologist to determine where Adam is on the Rancho Coma Scale. Last he was assessed at a 2, and I am praying that Adam will be able to respond for her and she will be able to see how far he has come. She has only seen Adam once before so this makes it harder for Adam to respond to someone he doesn’t really know. I am trusting that God will give Adam the strength that he needs to do the tasks he is asked to do. Please, please, please partner with me in prayer for this meeting. (Rancho Coma Scale ranges how alert and awake Adam is, it will evaluate how far he has emerged from his coma and how much farther he has to go, click here for more info)

All I can do right now is trust in God, all I can do is hope in Him, all I can do is believe in His promises… all I can do is pray. My prayer is for Adam’s FULL recovery, my prayer is that my heart will not be hardened, but will remain soft and tender.

Psalm 95
1 Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD;
let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.

2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving
and extol him with music and song.

3 For the LORD is the great God,
the great King above all gods.

4 In his hand are the depths of the earth,
and the mountain peaks belong to him.

5 The sea is his, for he made it,
and his hands formed the dry land.

6 Come, let us bow down in worship,
let us kneel before the LORD our Maker;

7 for he is our God
and we are the people of his pasture,
the flock under his care.
Today, if you hear his voice,

8 do not harden your hearts as you did at Meribah,
as you did that day at Massah in the desert,

9 where your fathers tested and tried me,
though they had seen what I did.

10 For forty years I was angry with that generation;
I said, "They are a people whose hearts go astray,
and they have not known my ways."

11 So I declared on oath in my anger,
"They shall never enter my rest."

Lord, I give you my heart, may it remain tender towards you, and may I be able to enter your rest. I bow down and worship you, you are sovereign and just, only you know the whole picture and I find peace in that… thank you. You know the situation; you know our circumstance, let your will be done. Be with Adam tomorrow morning, give him the strength he needs to complete the tasks he is asked. Your word says all things are possible through Christ who gives us strength, because of this I know Adam can do anything through you who gives him the strength. Give Adam a restful and peaceful night’s rest so that he will wake up refreshed. Bring peace to Adam in times of confusion and sadness, comfort him in ways that only you can provide comfort. I praise you for the healing that has already taken place in Adam’s body, I praise you for the healing that is to come. You are awesome in power and in strength, you are a mighty healer, you are a creative God in how you knit us together, your love is amazing, and tonight I praise you for who you are. I go to bed with joy in my heart because you are with me and will never leave me… and because of this I am not discouraged by the events of the day. Thank you for saving me, thank you for eternal life, for your unconditional love, thank you for writing my name in the book of lambs, for pursuing me intentionally. I love you Lord, and it’s in your precious and holy name I pray, Amen.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I Am Adam's Wife!

Quick and short update tonight because I am way behind getting my kiddo into bed... sorry.

Adam was a popular guy today, we had lots of visitors and it was so great!

Adam's nurse Norma worked with Adam consistently all day yesterday and today on following commands. She is an amazing nurse who has years of neuro care experience. She has been a wealth of information teaching me how work with Adam to follow commands. Anyway... this morning Mackenzie and I went to church and I called and talked with Norma when we were on our way back to the hospital. She let me know that after working with showing Adam head nods, she asked him if is wife's name is Penelope and she said it was very subtle, but he nodded no, then she asked if his wife's name was Amy and he nodded yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THAT MAN and I know he loves me!!! God is amazing and His timing is always perfect. We are so blessed to have so many of you praying for us and praying for Adam's FULL recovery! I encourage you, please keep praying.

I am soaking in God's love for me tonight. To see God working in Adam is truly an amazing journey. He is so faithful to His promises and I am trusting in Him that He will continue to be faithful. Trust has always been something I have struggled with, and this journey continues to grow me in the area of surrendering it all and trusting that God is in control and I can rest and trust in His promises. My heart is so full of praise and worship for what He is doing. God is so mighty, mighty to heal. Jeremiah 33:6 (NKJV) "Behold, I will bring it health and healing;"

Tomorrow Adam is being evaluated by Dr. Eg and he will listen to the therapists and nurses recommendations in determining how long we will get to be in the Neuro Care unit, so please pray for wisdom and discernment for those making this decision. Pray the therapists will spend enough time with Adam to see his progress, pray that their eyes are open to what he is capable of and not see his deficits. I know God is in control and His will, will be done.

PS... MY MAN IS AMAZING!!! I am so proud of him.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

My Heart Is Joyful

I am so proud of my man, he has worked so hard today!!! Adam followed commands all day today!!! His nurse Norma asked for him to open his mouth and after he did that 3 or 4 times then she asked him to close his mouth and he did!!! It only got better, I was working with his arm showing him how to lift his arm, I would let him try and then I would lift his arm to show him what it felt like. At first he flickered his fingers, then he slid his arm up, his other arm and I asked him to grab his sleeve and he did! I ran out to the hall as fast as I could and grabbed Norma, she came in and was able to see how hard he was trying and then she saw him pull his arm back up and grab his sleeve! I was ecstatic watching how hard Adam was working today, I am so proud of him, he's amazing. He's getting it, he's so alert and aware of his surroundings... he's doing so great, I am choosing to believe that in 3 weeks Adam is going prove that he is capable of so much more than he is expected by the therapists. He can do this, I believe in him and I know so many of you are praying for Adam’s miracle and I know God is working through all of our prayers.

One thing that has been a huge blessing in this journey is that this journey has brought great new friends in my life. This morning Mackenzie and I met up with some friends at the Durham Farmers market and walked through the street festival, it was so great to be with friends and enjoy the wonderful sunshine. Thank you girls for taking the time to walk in the sunshine with me! Your friendships are such a blessing to me.

Me, Jen, Lisa, and Emily

While hanging out in Adam's room today Mackenzie started getting real creative with some supplies... she was pretending to someone from space and all who were in the room had to participate in the space expedition. It was funny to watch her, she is so wonderfully and hysterically creative.
Mackenzie in her space suit
Alan being a good sport
This is me doing my part to in the space expedition

I am filled with so much joy, the joy of Lord and the joy He provides will continue to be our strength for this journey. I read this today and loved it "Joy is part of the Holy Spirit fruit. Do you have it? If not, you need to know that the power of Jesus Christ’s resurrection is inside of you if you gave your heart to Jesus. God has already offered everything you need to live a life to the max and life from abundance comes trough knowing God (not just knowing something about Him). Get to know Him from the Bible which is His Word and you will have the blessing of His joy in your life regardless of the circumstances around you." Psalm 100: 1&2 "Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs." I continuing to shout for joy and worship The Almighty God for what He has done, what He is doing, and what is yet to come. He is the ultimate healer and He is doing a work in Adam, miracles have already happened... Adam is still here and he is making huge progress... GO ADAM.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Praying for Adam's miracle

Right now I am sitting next to Adam's bed in a chair that is facing him, next to him is Mackenzie who 2 hours ago climbed up and positioned his arms to wrap around her. They are both sound asleep and it is so precious to be sitting here seeing their love for each other. How can I ever thank God enough for giving me these two amazing gifts. I look at both my gifts that God has given me and entrusted me with and I can only think how lucky and blessed I am. I love them both so much more than I will ever be able to communicate in words on a blog. My heart is so full.

Below is the picture I promised from last night's blog. Total to date is 97 postcards, keep em coming. If you are wondering what's the deal with the postcards click here to see.

Adam is adjusting back to a busy schedule. This morning as soon as I got there, I shaved him, bathed him, dressed him, and got him ready for his day (this is always my favorite time of the day because it's just the 2 of us, so I get to talk with him, pray with him and just be with him). Next he had speech therapy which he was pretty tired since I just got done jostling him around. Then physical therapy and occupational therapy came in and had their turn with Adam. They took Adam to their gym where they stretched him and Adam let them know he wasn't so sure about their stretches (he had his valve on and was making a lot of moans).

Finally Adam was allowed a little break and I was allowed to take him outside for an hour!!! Just in time our friends Mark and Mary came and were able to join us outside for a few moments. This has been Adam's first time outside in at least 2 months. It was so great.

This afternoon when Dierdre (speech) was working with Adam she did try chocolate pudding... I was so excited to see something yummy go into Adam's mouth. Adam was unable at this time to move it around and he didn't swallow it on his own. I am believing that his day is coming when he will surprise us all and swallow intentionally.

Mondays at WakeMed are always the day that I get Adam's progress notes and usually I hear the upcoming plans for Adam's journey to recovery. Today the physical therapist and occupational therapist told me they were only going to recommend to Dr. Eg that we stay in the unit for 3 weeks... then they are suggesting skilled nursing facility. (They thought it would be best to tell me what they were going to recommend to Dr.Eg, so that on Monday I won't feel like it came out of left field... so today I got to that way) They went on to explain that Adam is considered total dependant care and to get him to the next level which is max. assistance care he would have to participate 25%... they said right now they don't see him being able to do that any time soon. So basically they are saying Adam has 3 weeks to show progress. When he begins to show progress they will extend the time frame.

I have to believe and trust in God, He knows the darkness of this situation, He knows our pain... He knew this conversation was coming... He has plans, He so graciously and gently whispered "My child, it's My timing... not yours". He reminded me of what He led me to yesterday Deuteronomy 1:30 "The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you". He is fighting for Adam, this is His battle, my battle is to trust in Him. All I have to do is trust.

I am boldly asking each one of you who read this to approach the throne of grace with boldness and confidence on Adam's behalf join me in asking God to listen to the cries of our hearts, we are screaming for Adam's FULL recovery. I am trusting in Him, I ask you to trust in Him too. Stand with me proclaiming and declaring Adam's FULL recovery. We need to see productive, purposeful movements, intentional swallowing, we need to see Adam begin to participate. I ask you to pray for Adam, he is becoming more aware and alert and I am seeing discouragement and sadness (I am rejoicing that I am seeing emotions), please pray that he doesn't give up, pray that he uses God's strength that He offers each of us and us it to help him be purposeful. WE NEED PRAYERS NOW MORE THAN EVER. ADAM NEEDS YOUR PRAYERS. Matthew 19:26 "But Jesus looked at them and said to them, 'With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'"

Thursday, September 16, 2010

God Is Going Before Us

Your sweet comments from last night's post was so encouraging to both Mackenzie and I. I read them to her this evening, and we both were touched by the kind words, thank you.

Today was a busy day for all of us. Adam had a great day. He's seems to be tolerating his boots much better this time around. Some day I will have to put the boots on my feet and share a visual of how awful these boots really are. With his Passy Muir valve on, he was very vocal today. I love hearing his voice. Diedre (Speech therapist) tried 3 bites of applesauce with Adam today, he swallowed, but with almost a minute delay. I asked if we could try pudding because Adam doesn't really like applesauce. He doesn't like the texture, so if we tried something he likes maybe he won't delay as much in his swallowing. So please, please continue to pray for Adam's swallowing reflex to be without delay. Once he starts swallowing without delay he can move onto to milkshakes, real food! Dierdre wrote the order for me to be able to do ice chips with Adam... so hopefully with more practice he will swallow more consistently. Adam received pet therapy today, so a dog came to visit Adam. I reached Adam's hand to pet the dog and I could tell Adam enjoyed it. Overall a very productive day for Adam.

Mackenzie and I waisted no time, after picking her up from school today we started decorating Adam's walls and filling them with pictures, encouraging signs, and of course a Halo poster. Mackenzie rehung all the postcards and tomorrow I will post an updated view of the postcard wall! It has been so great to receive all your postcards. We have received so many postcards from wonderful people we haven't even had the privilege to meet yet, thank you all so much for your encouraging words. Keep em coming... just a reminder, I asked for postcards from the city you live in or the city where you have prayed for Adam's recovery. The visual of all the postcards serves as a reminder that we are not alone in walking this journey, your words encourage Adam, and it serves as a testimony to the nurses how many people are praying for my man. It's been such a great conversational piece.

I am continuing to praise God for how far Adam has come on this journey, I laid in bed with Adam today telling him how proud I am of him for how hard he has fought and continues every day to fight. All the nurses and Dr.Eg have noticed how much more alert Adam is, he's becoming a lot more aware of his surroundings... we are praying that healing with continue to leap ahead, we are believing in God's healing hands and we are believing in Adam's full recovery. I am trusting in God as I step blindly each day in faith on this journey... I know He is going before us. I tell Adam when he's tired and discouraged, that God is going before him and He is fighting for him... Deuteronomy 1:30 "The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you".

Thank you Jesus, that you go before us paving the way and fighting for us because you love us. Lord, Adam and I invite you to continue to walk this journey before us, paving our way. Make us obedient to walk in the way that you are calling us to walk in. I thank you that when I have stepped off the path marked out for me that you so graciously bring me back into your loving arms. I praise you for your faithfulness and for your promise to never leave us. It's in your holy and precious name I pray... Amen!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Am Overflowing With Thankfulness

Today has been a busy day... Adam was transferred back to WakeMed Neuro Care Unit. So we said goodbye to UNC once again (and I'm praying for that it's the final time) but I will miss everyone at UNC that has been so wonderful at taking care of my man. Once we got back to WakeMed, immediately Adam was visited and assessed by doctors, therapists, nurses... he's been busy. Physical therapy (Susan) and Occupational therapy (Carolyn) got Adam dressed in normal clothes and up in his wheelchair! It was so fantastic to see him in normal clothes and sitting up in his chair, I having been rejoicing all day in Adam's progress. I have so much to be thankful for.

Once Adam was settled in I spent some time at his bedside, I pulled the chair all the way to the side of his bed (I would have laid in bed with him, but he was pretty tired from the events of the day was sleeping soundly, I didn't want to disturb him). I sat in the chair facing him just giving thanks to God for all he has done in Adam's body already. I was thanking God and praising him that Adam is still here, that he's breathing without the help of a ventilator, he's wiggling toes and fingers, his eyes open and close, he swallows, he's been holding his head up, his muscle tone is improving, he's worked himself off several harsh medications, he has survived 12 surgeries, God's healed infection in Adam's body, I am praising God that Adam has a voice and we have heard him make noises... 1 Chronicles 16:8 "Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done." I am so thankful. I worship a mighty God who has made my man a mighty warrior.

Tonight when Mackenzie and I were tucking Adam in for the night, having our prayer time, and saying goodnight... all three of us were in Adam's bed and she wrote this poem...
Roots By: Mackenzie Root

"Roots hold a tree strong
A flower tall

Roots hold you strong and tall too

How, you might ask…
Our family for instance,
We are here for you, like roots for a tree
To help hold you strong and tall

Dad, I love you and I am your Root."

Oh how I am so in love with my family. God has blessed me with an incredible man and an amazing little girl. I am so thankful that God chose me to be Adam's wife and Mackenzie's mommy.

Tonight, I am choosing to be thankful, and choosing to see God's blessings... His blessings are always surrounding us even in the midst of sorrow and grief... I pray that you all will see His blessings that surround you. It's a choice, your choice how you see your circumstances, ask God to give you the eyes you need to see His blessings and choose to focus on them.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Giving Thanks and Being Joyful

I have been reflecting today on Adam's care at UNC. We are so blessed to have such an amazing team that works with Adam. The nurses have been amazing and awesome and I owe it all to them for how much I am involved in Adam's care, they have been phenomenal at teaching me and showing me how to do everything... the only thing I don't do is push medications (because legally I can't). I love that I have been the one that can take care of my man, I am glad that it's me who can touch him rather than someone he might not know well.

You have read before how much I love Adam's social worker here at UNC, Jen is truly an amazing rock star for all she does and how much she goes to bat for us! Jen, I cannot thank you enough for all you have done! Adam has been fortunate to have an awesome pharmacist assigned to his case as well, she has been the one who has handled all his medications every time we have been here at UNC and today she spent an hour with me going through all his medications and helping me continue to be the best advocate for Adam, thank you Emily.

The doctors have been great about answering my 1001 questions and taking the time to explain everything to me and respect my involvement in Adam's care. When I have missed rounds because of taking Mackenzie to school the doctors have gone out of their way to come fill me in rounds and address any concerns or questions. Truly we are blessed with top notch care.

As I am giving thanks to God for all the people who have been placed in our journey to take care of Adam, I have been filled with so much joy. This led me to thinking about joy... What is joy? A better question is, "What is the joy of the Lord?" The fuel that drives the engine of our worshipping hearts is the joy of the Lord. Our worshipping hearts keep us focused on the Lord for our fulfillment. As we delight in Him He grows us in grace. This is so much more than simply being religious. This is walking through every moment of every day living for His glory. The joy of the Lord both empowers that process and grows from it. Isaiah 55:12 "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace;" I pray that you all are filled with filled with joy and led in peace.

Monday, September 13, 2010

The Power of Encouragement

I am so excited to report that today was a good day! Thank you all for praying so hard for our family. Adam was alert for most of the day. Adam's CT scan from yesterday showed improvement from the last one! It showed that the fluid has decreased and his ventricles have decreased in size which is fantastic, totally an answer to prayer. This also proved that his lethargy is from his seizure and the medications he is on, which I am praying he will build up a tolerance for.

Today Adam had occupational therapy, physical therapy, and speech therapy... was was busy and tired. We were able to get him to chew and swallow ice chips, he made quite a few vocalizations with his Passy Muir valve on. He was exhausted by the end of the day, but he was was amazing how well he did... I am so proud of him and respect him so much for how hard he continues to fight his injury. He is my hero.

The last couple of days I have been concentrating on documenting everything because Adam had been so lethargic, and I was concerned because Adam just hasn't been responding. One thing that I have tried to be consistent at is encouraging Adam everyday, but the last couple of days I was concerned and spent so much time talking with him, and praying over him that I wasn't so consistent in words of affirmation and being intentional about consistent encouragement. This morning in my prayer time I just heard the word encourage. I knew I needed to encourage him. Instantaneous Adam started responding. Every little thing today, I tried to be his cheerleader and cheer him along. He did awesome, I believe in him so much, and I am so proud of him.

I was able to see the power of encouragement today. One book I read awhile ago talks about love languages, and I know Adam's love language is words of affirmation, today proved that. Throughout our marriage I have made sure to affirm my man, it's the most incredible thing to see my man on cloud nine because of affirmation I have been able to give him.

When was the last time you......
  • Thanked your man for working so hard?
  • Told your man you thought he was an honorable man?
  • Said you respected your man for what he is doing in life?
  • Told your man he was your hero?
  • Bragged about your man to someone in his hearing?

I encourage you ladies, affirm your man... let him hear it from you how much you respect him. After all ladies, we are called to unconditionally respect our husbands, Ephesians 5:33 says "the wife must respect her husband." When I first was starting my journey of being a Godly wife I had no clue what it meant to respect my man two tools that helped me were "Love and Respect" By: Dr. Emmerson Eggerich and... I came across this 30 day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives... for the last 3 years I have frequently repeated this challenge. If you don't know how to begin a journey of encouraging your man or affirming him, this is a great tool to use. I really encourage all the married ladies reading this to step up and take the challenge to encourage the gift God gave you from above.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Direction Of Faith

Today has been a day similar to yesterday... The 3 of us spent the day together cuddled up and hanging out together. It's amazing how in such a small room, with little amenities, I have everything I want. I have the man I love who adores and cherishes me, I have the sweetest most amazing kiddo, and we have so much love between all of us. It really makes me think how much more can I simplify our lives, we don't need all that we have... we just need to let God remain in the center of our relationships and we need each other... that's it, that's all we need.

Adam had a CT today because I brought up my concerns to the doctors. I feel like Adam isn't doing as well as he has in the past after surgery and I have been concerned because he has been responding or following commands since his seizure. The CT results won't be read till tomorrow, but the preliminary results must have looked okay because I haven't heard from the doctors, so one thing I have learned... no news is usually good news.

I was struggling today asking God to give me more faith, and this is what was given to me... You don’t need bigger faith, stronger faith, new and improved faith... It’s not the amount of the faith that’s important, but it is whether or not I have faith and how faith is being directed and applied, that matters in seeing significant things happen. Luke 17:5&6 "He replied, 'If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.'" I have faith. I have faith that God is in control of every moment of this journey, that God has control over Adam's brain, his recovery, and his journey. I have faith. Pray for our faith, pray for Adam, Mackenzie, and I we need prayers for our faith.

I have found myself in constant prayer over Adam all day today, several times I climbed right next to him and just laid there unable to stop praying for his FULL recovery. Please stand with me praying for Adam's recovery. Pray that Adam would recover from this last surgery, pray that he will leap forward, pray for his strength and endurance to run this marathon, pray for his alertness and awareness, pray for his swallowing reflex, pray for his foot drop, pray for healing in his brain specifically for neurons, and axons to recover from the injury. Pray for a miraculous healing, one that can only be described as God knitting Adam's brain back together one neuron at a time.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Trusting In God's Good Plans

Mackenzie wasn't in the picture because she was the photographer!

Today I am so grateful for friends! We are so blessed with such awesome friends (even ones we haven't yet met), thank you all so much for all you have done. Your care packages, letters and encouraging words are so sweet, I cannot describe what they do for my soul. God has used each one of you to whisper something in my ear, thank you all so much.

Adam's best friend Scott came to visit today. It was Scott's first time seeing Adam since his accident because Scott has been in Iraq since April. Prior to Scott leaving, he, his wife Stacy, Adam, Mackenzie and I spent so much time together we were like one big happy family. It felt so good to have Scott and Stacy with us today, it was as close to normal as this situation could feel. When they left this evening both Mackenzie and I reflected on the fact that we weren't ready for them to go... there was something so comforting with the 5 of us in one room.

Mackenzie and I spent the day with Adam at his bedside. This morning we worked together to get Adam fresh for the day and the afternoon/evening, we "fought" over who was going to cuddle in bed next to Adam. Spending our family time together is the best part of the whole week. I love when the 3 of us are in the room hanging out, Mackenzie and I take turns reading to Adam, listening to music, watching Mackenzie preform for us, and taking naps together. It's been so neat to learn our new normal quality family time.

There has been so many moments lately that I have reflected on the incredible man that my husband is. He has always been so great at letting me know that he loves me, and I hope I am able to give him nothing less then the security he has given me in knowing his love for me. He deserves every ounce of honor and respect I have. I am so lucky to be Adam's wife, not a day goes by where I haven't told him how blessed I am to be his wife. I love my man, and I appreciate my man... and right now, I am missing my man.

There have been moments this week where I stop and think and can't believe how normal my life was 4 months ago and now we are all adjusting to a "new normal". One promise I am holding onto is God's promise to work all things together for good according to His purpose. He's not making the best of a bad situation that was out of His control, because every day of our lives (Adam's, mine and yours too) has been ordained by God since before the foundation of the world. Psalm 139:16 " All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be". My devotion today said "God doesn't just sit back as a passive observer and allow circumstances or Satan to hurt us, only to step in afterwards and say optimistically 'I can make this into something good!' He has a purpose and design in what is happening to us from the beginning, and even though what is happening to us might not good, God intends it all for our ultimate good." I am believing, trusting, and hoping that Adam's injury will be worked for God's good and that Adam will testify of God's goodness through it all. Lord, please continue to give us the hope, and faith for this journey. We are trusting in Your promises. Continue to guide us in your footprints. Refine us, prune us, and make us more like you with every passing hour. You are all we need. We love you. Amen

Friday, September 10, 2010

A Heart of Gratitude

Thank you for your prayers, Adam was more alert today than he has been for the last several days. He had a very relaxing day but was awake for most the day. At one point today all three of us (Mackenzie, Adam, and I) all took a nap in his bed, for all three of us to be cuddling was a tight squeeze, but it was so wonderful... the surprising thing is we all slept. Please continue to pray for Adam's progress and recovery, this is vital right now... Adam needs to progress in order to get to the rehab facility that will best fit his needs. Please pray that Adam will become more alert and aware with every passing moment. Pray for a miracle for Adam, I am believing in a miracle. Psalm 9:23 " 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes."

A couple of weeks ago I let you all know that I met the critical care nurse that airlifted Adam from his accident to UNC. She came by Adam's room yesterday to check on him and invited Mackenzie and I to see the chopper. She gave Mackenzie and I special pins and a tee-shirt, but the most amazing gift she has given me has been her prayers... she let me know that she prays daily for Adam, what a blessing. I am so grateful to DeAnne for all has done to save Adam. DeAnne has transported Adam twice now as his critical care nurse and to say thank you to her never seems like enough. She is so humble, and extremely respected... several of her colleagues have said to me how amazing she is and how if that was their family member they wouldn't want anyone else, they all said she's the best. I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to meet her and thank her.

DeAnne, Mackenzie, and I with Tar Heel 1 (the chopper)
So grateful
Mackenzie sitting in Tar Heel 1

We watched them take off tonight, this was DeAnne and her partner heading out

I am continually blessed by the people that God has chosen to care for Adam. My prayer is that God will bless them for all they do for so many lives. Thank you to all who have been a part of Adam's care at UNC, you all have been amazing and wonderful.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Praying This Is The Final Goodbye To ICU

Adam was moved out of ICU today, which is good... no more seizures, praise the Lord! However, he's on this anti-seizure medication that is causing serious lethargy. He has been non-responsive all day (not responding to my voice, touch, or commands) not only from the medication but also as a result from the seizure itself. If tomorrow he is still lethargic the will most likely order an EEG (Electroencephalography) to see if Adam is having any more seizing that we are not visibly seeing. Please pray that Adam to work through these medication changes, please also pray that there is no more seizing activity and that he will begin to propel forward in his recovery.

I couldn't help but think of Matthew 11 when John is in prison and Jesus continues on in His ministry, questioning his present circumstances and if God was really the Messiah... Jesus responds in Matthew 11:5 "The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. " Who can forget the story of the two blind men Jesus healed simply by His touch (Mt 9:27-30). Or, who can help but think of the paralytic, lying on a mat, brought to Jesus by some friends; Jesus not only forgave his sins but also commanded him "Get up, take your mat and go home" (Mt 9:1-7). I think of the man with leprosy whom Jesus touched and said, "Be clean!" and immediately he was cured of his leprosy (Mt 8:1-4). I think of a deaf and mute man whom Jesus took aside, put His fingers into the man's ears and touched the man's tongue, and said "Be opened" and the man's ears were opened and his tongue was loosened and he began to speak plainly (Mk 7:31-35). Then there was the dead girl Jesus took by the hand and she got up (Mt 9:23-25). Finally, there was the preaching of the good news. Jesus sent out the twelve to preach and to heal (Mt 10) and when they left He Himself went on from there to teach and preach in the towns of Galilee (Mt 11:1).All of these activities were miracles, supernatural in scope. And, they all were acts of compassion. I am praising God tonight that He is the same God that preformed all these supernatural miracles and I am asking for a miracle in Adam's recovery. Please join me in praying for a FULL recovery, nothing less than an FULL recovery.

It's time for healing... please take the time to listen to this song. I believe God is doing a work in Adam and in the midst of the ciaos there is so much peace.

Please let me encourage you to please continue to pray without ceasing for Adam's recovery.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Importance Of Staying In The Moment

Tonight I am most grateful that in the midst of crisis, or my valley of darkness that I have the promises of His presence. We are called to rejoice and give thanks in our trials and this is truly only possible by His grace and the fact that we are promised and given His presence. Tonight I am forever grateful to be surrounded by God's presence. Hebrews 13: 5 & 6 "because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper'"

Throughout this journey I have talked about the importance of staying in the moment. (Most often it's because I cannot think beyond this moment) When I think back to what my life was like before the accident i get caught up in deep sorrow and a tremendous amount of pain and if I think about the future and the uncertainty of it I am overwhelmed with fear and worry... but when I stay in this moment, I have peace and comfort. Being able to stay in the moment is vital to trusting that God will supply all our needs for this moment. If I come to Him as I am, broken, hurting, sorrowful, guilty... He meets me with His grace exactly where I am. He promises just enough grace for this moment, not for the night, not for tomorrow, not for next week... but just enough grace for this very moment. This moment is all I have been given and He promises to meet all my needs and my needs for this moment is His grace... His grace is all I need.

Adam was suppose to be moved out of the ICU today and as the nurse was calling report to the nurse on the floor he was suppose to move to... Adam had a large seizure (which means we stayed in the ICU). Instantly Adam's room filled with nurses and doctors to help resolve the problem, and as I stood there I felt completely helpless and lifeless... thankfully the nurses guided me and I was able to help until all the doctors got there and were able to take over. Once the took over I stepped into the hall to watch everything and to have a good hard cry at how scary that moment was. Within minutes Adam was rushed for a CT scan. This happened so quickly I didn't have time to process how I went from reading at his bedside to pacing the halls of the CT scan area. Thankfully by God's grace, Adam's CT scan didn't show anything out of the ordinary, this is such a wonderful praise. He didn't have any more seizures the rest of the day, praise the Lord.

The doctors assured me that this is all so common with the injury that Adam has suffered, and the doctors do not seemed concerned, I was told this was normal... what about this is normal? Normal is what my life looked like several months ago... this is not normal, then I had to pull myself back into this moment and realize once again the importance of staying in the moment. And in this moment, with Adam's injury seizures are common. He is now on an antiseizure medication to help prevent this from happening again.

Please continue to pray for Adam's progress and recovery, please pray againist any more seizures, please pray for his breathing pattern to return to normal (he developed an irregular breathing pattern, and again this is real common with the extent of Adam's injury and the trauma from all the surgeries he has endured), please pray for strength and perseverence for Adam. Please pray for his pain to subside. Please continue to pray for all those who are invovled in his care, that they will forever be changed.

I am so thankful and in complete awe of the obiedience you all have to the leading of the Holy Spirit... so many of you have done so much for me and my family... thank you. Someone sent this poem to me and I want to share it, because tonight this is where I am...

God Has the Answers

Although you're tired and weary
Just rest the whole night through
As God give us the mornings
To see all things anew

For things look so much brighter
When they're slept on a while
You wake up in the morning
And soon you want to smile

You loook and see the sunshine
the bright blue sky above
You wonder why you fretted
And you know God is love

With all this to surround you
There's naught but this to say
And so with song you praise Him
Give thanks for this new day

Yes God has all the answers
To problems big and small
We only have to tell him
He's at our beck and call

So we must tak our burdens
And lay them at his feet
Then trust unto Him His wisdom
That's all our needs He'll meet

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Surgery #12

Thank you so much for your prayers today, we could feel them surrounding us. Adam's surgery went well, he was in surgery for close to 5 hours. I am praising God that everything went well and that there were no surprises. (Sorry for another quick update tonight, I will write more tomorrow)

Adam has had a significant amount of pain since the surgery. I know that seems like an obvious statement, after all he did just undergo brain surgery, not to mention is 12th operation. But what makes this significant is Adam has barely shown signs of pain when he's been post-op before, and when he has shown the slightest of pain a little bit of morphine has been all that he's needed. Today the doctors gave him several doses of heavy pain medication before using a sedating medication to finally bring Adam some rest. His heart rate was very high and he kept holding his breath so he was setting monitors off left and right so giving him the sedation medication was the only thing that seemed to relax him and bring his heart rate down.

I personally believe that Adam is feeling more pain with this surgery because he is more aware and alert. Not only was his heart rate high and his respirations low, but he also audibly made noise without his valve on, he was moaning in discomfort. I am so thankful that Adam was communicating with us letting us know he was in pain... this was today's miracle because he is showing that he is more aware and alert. Another praiseworthy note today was before Adam was given all the pain medication and right after his surgery, he was still following commands for him to wiggle his toes and he wiggled his left thumb! Way to go Adam!!! He's amazing!!! He is such a fighter, I am so proud of him for fighting and for working so hard... I am blessed and lucky to call Adam my husband... He's my man!

This is my meditation today, Psalm 25:4-7 "Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord."

Monday, September 6, 2010

Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright

Tonight Mackenzie and I were walking through the lobby of the hospital and this guy started to play the piano that was there. Mackenzie and I sat for several minutes and listened to him play. He played Bob Marley's song "Everythings gonna be alright" and as I was listening to him sing and play I felt a whisper... "When you let Me teach you to follow Me... every little thing is gonna be alright... keep walking in My ways." At first I was like "did God really just use Bob Marley's song to speak to me?" But as I as sitting there listening to the lyrics and reflecting on what was whispered to me I couldn't help but have a few tears in my eyes. When God is in control, every little thing is alright... maybe not the way I would want it, but it's alright because we have seen God moving, we have seen daily miracles, and most importantly... we have seen His faithfulness to His promises. Every little thing is gonna be alright and I am excited for what is yet to come.

Adam was more alert today than he was yesterday. He was responding to some commands today. The doctors and nurses agreed that today was to be a day of rest for him so that he can rest up for tomorrow's operation. Please pray for Adam's 12th operation tomorrow. Adam is having his VP Shunt replaced.

Dear God, I humbly approach your throne tonight, praising you for what you have done in our lives and so many others who have been touched my Adam's journey. I am in awe of what you have done and are excited for what is to come. I thank you that you are working in ways that I cannot see. Help me to continue to trust and have faith in what I cannot see. God, I pray for rest tonight for Adam. Lord, I pray for continued strength in Adam's body, I pray that this operation tomorrow will not be a setback, but an obstacle used to propel Adam's recovery forward. I pray over the hands that will be involved on Adam's case tomorrow, may each one of them feel a tangible touch from you as they work on my man who loves you so much. May they leave Adam's case forever changed by your love for them. I boldly ask for a miraculous healing in Adam's brain. I ask for patience in the journey. I ask for a supernatural faith that continues to manifest itself in all who are touched by Adam's journey. Lord, I thank you that you tore the veil so that I can come before you on my knees and approach your throne with confidence... I love you my sweet Jesus. Amen.

Please join me in praying for Adam everyday, but especially tomorrow. Pray also for the doctors, residents, interns, nurse practitioners, pharmacists, nurses, therapists... everyone who is involved in Adam's care. Pray also for those who will become involved in his care along this journey. Thank you all for your prayers and support, we are so truly blessed.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Belief, Faith, and Trust

I have been pondering the difference today of faith verses belief. In order to believe in God and who He says He is, I have to have faith to believe. My faith has to come from God. For too long I think I believed faith was something that I had to have, and either I had it or I didn't. One thing this journey has taught me is if I were to rely on my own measure of faith I would not have made this far. I have to rely on God to give me the faith necessary to get through hour by hour. I am consistently at His feet asking for more faith to hang on, to believe, to know that He is in control. I have to trust in Him and not question. I heard this story today...

There was a tightrope walker, who did incredible aerial feats. All over Paris, he would do tightrope acts at tremendously scary heights. Then he had succeeding acts; he would do it blindfolded, then he would go across the tightrope, blindfolded, pushing a wheelbarrow.

An American promoter read about this in the papers and wrote a letter to the tightrope walker, saying, "Tightrope, I don't believe you can do it, but I'm willing to make you an offer. For a very substantial sum of money, besides all your transportation fees, I would like to challenge you to do your act over Niagara Falls."

Now, Tightrope wrote back, "Sir, although I've never been to America and seen the Falls, I'd love to come."

Well, after a lot of promotion and setting the whole thing up, many people came to see the event. Tightrope was to start on the Canadian side and come to the American side. Drums roll, and he comes across the rope which is suspended over the treacherous part of the falls -- blindfolded!! And he makes it across easily.

The crowds go wild, and he comes to the promoter and says, "Well, Mr. Promoter, now do you believe I can do it?"

"Well of course I do. I mean, I just saw you do it."
"No," said Tightrope, "do you really believe I can do it?"
"Well of course I do, you just did it."
"No, no, no," said Tightrope, "do you believe I can do it?"
"Yes," said Mr. Promoter, "I believe you can do it."
"Good," said Tightrope, "then you get in the wheel barrow."

How many times I have believed Christ can do it, but then refused to get into the wheel barrow. I don't want to refuse God's wheel barrow any more. I want to not only believe, but have the faith that God is there for me with all His promises, waiting for me to trust Him enough to get into the wheel barrow. He is in control and I am not only believing, but I have faith in His word... and He will work our circumstances for the good, and He is going to give us a future and hope. Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God." Adam still needs a miracle, and I am believing and asking God daily for faith to trust and know that Adam's miracle is not impossible for God.

I am holding onto the faith that God has given me, because today was a difficult day emotionally speaking... Adam was so lethargic and sleepy that he didn't respond today at all. Adam slept all day and I only saw his eyes opened once for a short period of time. This is most likely because of the medication change I wrote about a couple of days ago. The doctors increased a muscle tone medication and this particular medication does make Adam more sleepy... that, and he has had a very busy weekend with lots of stimulation with so much family visiting. He's just exhausted, but we all enjoyed the visits. Having the external ventricular drain (EVD) in we can easily see his intercranial pressure (ICP) so we know it's not fluid build up making him sleepy because his ICP's are normal... so I know he's just getting his much needed rest to continue on this journey.

Please continue to pray for Adam's strength and alertness... He goes back to the operating room on Tuesday for his 12 surgery. The doctors are placing his Ventriculoperitoneal shunt (VP Shunt). If you remember me writing last week about how I had an opinion as to which shunt I wanted... it would require too much medical explaining so I will spare you the details... but I did want to share with you all that Adam's neurosurgeon Dr. Ewend did agree with me and specially ordered the particular shunt I was requesting! Please be praying that this shunt is it for us... this is Adam's third shunt in 2 and half months. My man is amazing at how much he has been through and he keeps fighting... he's something special for sure!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

My Man Is Incredible and Exhausted

Psalm 19:14 “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

The little bit that I did get to be with Adam today I wanted my time with him to be encouraging and restful. I was praying this morning that I would be able to know Adam's needs and that I would be a blessing to him today. Normally when I am bathing Adam in the mornings we listen to music, but this morning (early afternoon by the time I was able to get to it) I didn't feel like Adam needed music. He needed some peaceful, restful, quiet time. Adam fell asleep while I bathed him, so this was exactly what he needed. He is so faithful to answer my prayers and guide me to exactly what Adam's needs are. I spent some time praying for Adam today and God gave me some really awesome words to speak to Adam to encourage him... this was so incredibly special. I love God's love for us.

Adam (Mackenzie and I too) has had a busy few days with a lot of family in from out of town, he is exhausted tonight... I am so glad he had a few minutes this afternoon to rest. He was very alert today and had a great day, which allowed me to work with Adam and ice chips. Several times today I grabbed ice chips and he chewed the ice and swallowed, most of the time he swallowed without delay!!! This is so great!!! Thank you all for praying for my man, God hears you!!! This afternoon the nurse and I changed Adam's bed into a chair position and allowed Adam to sit for awhile... I stepped out of the room for to allow other family a turn and when I went back in Adam had dropped his head... I was trying to help him move his head to a more normal and comfortable position and Adam held his head up by himself for quite some time!!! It was so awesome! I love that God gave me so many opportunities today to encourage and praise my man for how incredibly hard he is working. I love being my husband's encourager. Between him holding his head and ice chips I was so elated I was moved to tears... I am so proud of my man, he is incredible.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Trusting In Him

This is MY MAN!!! Isn't he handsome and incredible?!!!!

The last couple of days Adam has had a lot of family in from out of town. I've been able to spend time with my father in law, 2 bothers in law, a sister in law, a niece, and a cousin... it's been busy and nice to see everyone. I have been so blessed to spend some time with each of them, and tonight we all went to dinner together... it was so great getting spend time with all everyone.

Tonight Mackenzie and I are trying to get a few minutes to spend together with Adam so I am going to make this quick...

Adam had a good day today, uneventful, but a good day. Adam followed commands, and with the change of the muscle tone medication we are finding it easier to move Adam and to stretch him. Today I was able to put is Passy Muir valve on and he was the most vocal I have heard him in weeks! It was so great to hear his voice. Please keep praying that Adam's muscle tone will continue to get better. Adam's pressure sores on his feet are getting much better. His chest xray is showing no pneumonia and his blood work is showing that his CSF infection is clearing wonderfully. Please keep praying, God is listening!

I know I have asked this before and I know so many of you are already praying for this, but please keep praying for me... I am missing my man so much there are no words to describe how much I miss him. The pain has been so significant that it hurts more than I ever could describe in words. I have been looking at picutres, and having so many flashbacks, it's just made the last couple of days very hard. I love Adam and miss him terribly... tears.

Isaiah 26: 3&4 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock eternal."

I am continuing to believe and trust in God's promises. I know He has promised to work all things together for good, He has promised to give us a future and hope, He has promises to never leave us nor forsake us, He has promised that if we trust in Him then He will make our paths straight. I am believing, trusting, and praying for Adam's FULL recovery... please join me in this prayer.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Power of Hope and A Sunset

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

I was talking with a nurse a couple of days ago and I was telling her that I don’t know how to describe the feeling I have and the assurance that I have, but I know without a doubt in my mind that Adam will recover. I tried to explain that this feeling came from hope that God has filled me with as well as peace that He has washed me with. I tried to explain that this is a different feeling than wishful thinking… it’s something I am certain of. Because we know that having faith is being sure of what we hope for, but absolutely certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1). I was just recalling today… I don’t remember a lot the first 24 hours of Adam’s accident, but one thing I will never forget… when Bill was driving me to the hospital from the track, I remember the exact spot on the highway (15-501) that I was washed with God’s peace. I knew then, the minute that I was washed with His peace that He was in control and it was a matter of trusting Him. I knew with that peace and assurance of who He is that He is far more than capable of healing Adam, and He will restore Adam… but in the meantime His work is not just in healing Adam, but in reaching others through Adam’s story. I am praying that by the power of the Holy Spirit our hope will overflow to those who are in need of hope.

Adam had an okay day today. Since Adam threw up a Tuesday he has not been on any tube feeds. I talked with the doctor yesterday explaining that I think the cause of Adam throwing up was from the change of nutrients from his tube feeds. I keep documentation and journal everything when it comes to Adam’s care so I was able to present a pretty strong case. So I had asked them to consider putting him back on the original tube feeds. Today the doctor ordered for his tube feeds to restart and the doctor ordered his original tube feeds! Adam hasn’t had any signs of an upset tummy, so that’s great!!!

Speech therapy came by today and was able to catch Adam during his most alert time today. She worked with Adam to swallow ice chips, and today has been the best I have seen Adam take and receive ice chips as well as swallow them! It was so good to see him swallow without too much of a delay. Please keep praying for continued progress in this area. Once Adam can prove that he is swallowing consistently, they can do a swallowing test to make sure everything is going down the right way and then if it is move him onto real foods… so please pray for this.
Dr. Jordan is changing Adam’s muscle tone medication because the one that he is on now is maxed out and hasn’t seemed to help as much as we would like. So they started him on a different one and I have already seen good results today. His arms and legs were easier to move, but the downside is this medication will take Adam about 2- 3 weeks to adjust… in the meantime it makes him very sleepy. So today Adam got plenty of rest, which is great for healing. Please pray that the adjustment to the medication will be quicker than expected and without any setbacks.

Tonight on my way home from the hospital I was watching the sunset over Jordan Lake (most of the time it’s dark by the time I leave the hospital) and the view was so incredible I had to pull over and take a moment to reflect on God’s beauty and creation. I have always said that when the sky changes colors due to a sunset, I feel like He is painting the sky just for me. I love sunsets and I think it’s just one way He tells me He loves me… it’s one way He woos me. Below is a picture from tonight when I pulled over to capture such a beautiful moment.

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