Sunday, July 18, 2010

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

Today was Mackenzie's 10th birthday. She has entered the double digits!!! She and I have grown up together. When I look back at the last 10 years, I can't believe how much we have been through, I pray that God will use Mackenzie in a mighty powerful way with the hard life she has had to face at such a young age. She is a remarkable kid, full of life and spirit and loves the Lord. I am blessed that God gave her to me. I love being her mom, even in the most trying moments.

Today was the first day in 65 days that I left the hospital for the entire afternoon. I know Adam would want me to spend Mackenzie's birthday with her and that's just what we did. We didn't do much, mainly just spent time together at home and had dinner and birthday dirt (yes Mackenzie chose dirt cake over ice cream cake... she's funny) with family and then Mackenzie and I went to the hospital this evening to spend some time with Adam. Overall it was a nice day. Honestly I had to work really hard to be okay being away from Adam for as long as I was, this was so hard. I am sure the nurses got sick of me calling to check on him as frequently as I did.

This morning while I was with Adam his fever was still pretty high, reaching very close to 103. The nurses packed ice all around his body to try to lower his temperature. They finally were able to get it as low as 101 this afternoon, but by this evening it was back up to 102.6 and ice was once again packed all around his body. If you ever want to torture me, force me to lay on ice... just typing this brings me to tears seeing what Adam goes through. The good news about his fever is so far all his labs are coming back negative so the fever is pointing towards central storming (last night's post describes this). Please pray Adam's fever and all this storming will resolve sooner than later. It's so hard to watch him suffer and there's nothing I can do. I just hate this.

I am so grateful to know that God is in control and He has Adam in His hands. With this in mind and trusting and relying on God it makes this painful process worth enduring, because I know He has great and mighty plans for His warrior. This takes constant discipline to remind myself that God has Adam and He has everything under control including Adam's fever and storming. Deuteronomy 32:4 "He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he" Dear God, You are my rock that I am standing firm on, thank you for being constant, I praise you for your works and for what is yet to come. Your ways Lord are perfect. Thank you for holding Adam in Your hands, thank you for being in control of his fever and his storming. I come before You tonight and boldly ask that you touch Adam's body, bring rest to his body, take this fever and storming from him. God, thank you for tearing the veil so that I can be so intimate with You. The times we share and how You draw me so much closer to You is so powerful. Thank you for all You have done in our family, for what You are doing, and for what You will do. I praise you and worship you tonight with my shattered praise. I love you. Amen.

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