Saturday, July 31, 2010

Please Do This For Adam

So I had a thought today and I need all of you to help. I would like a visual to show Adam and also to serve as reminder that we are not in this alone... that all of you have partnered with us in prayer. We have heard of people praying all over the world, and this is way that Adam could see it. Could you please send Adam a postcard of the city that you are living in, please include your name, and if you have a special verse to share with him include that on the postcard (if you city doesn't have a postcard then please get one from the state you are in and write the city on the back). I will be putting this all round Adam's wall in his room. I would love to fill his room with the postcards, so please do this for him... you don't even have to write anything if you don't want to.

Please send your postcards to:
Adam, Amy, & Mackenzie Root
204 Briarcliff St.
Apex, NC 27502

Adam's day has been a pretty relaxing day compared to yesterday. Mackenzie and I strolled Adam outside for only a few minutes before it started to pour down rain... so we sat in the cafeteria instead. Adam is pretty funny with his facial hair... he likes to mix it up by changing styles. Since I have started shaving him after his accident I have not been brave enough to do anything other than shave it all off... but today I left him with a goatee, and for my first time, I don't think it looks bad.

This evening Adam's heart rate started to climb so I climbed into bed with him and I was talking to him, and praying with him and just laying there with him and his heart rate dropped and he seemed to be resting so I carefully climbed out of bed and his heart rate went back up and he opened his eyes and looked right at me, as if to say "where are you going?" So I climbed back into bed talking to him softly and just cuddling and his heart rate came back down again... that was enough proof for me to see that he knew it was me and wanted me to stay there! So I stayed and cuddled with him for quite some time... I love my man!

So ever since the first night of Adam's accident I have had doctors and nurses tell me this is a long journey, this is a marathon... and I have seen that it is going to be a long journey and already has been. I have been really praying that God would continue to our forth his strength for endurance and hope and He so faithfully has each and every hour.

This morning during our quite time with God, God revealed to me that endurance is inspired by hope (1 Thessalonians 1:3), we are called to hope (Ephesians 4:4), when we hope we are waiting patiently (Romans 8:25), and faith and love spring from hope (Colossians 1:5).

Isn't this inspiring to want to hope the way we are called to? When we hope in the way that we have been called it is not a vague feeling that the future will be wonderful and positive, but complete assurance of certain victory through God. This complete certainty is provided by the Holy Spirit who is at work in us. The assurance of victory through Him makes me fall to my knees and praise Him. I love you Lord, and I lift my heart. I will continue to hope, and my hope is in You Lord.

Friday, July 30, 2010

God Is All We Need

Isaiah 58:11 "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

My prayer tonight is for Adam's body to have rest, that God would strengthen his frame and restore Adam's health. Adam spent most of today storming. He fought storm after storm today and his body is tired. The positive about today is the doctor decided to do a trial tonight of capping Adam's trach through the night. This means Adam is doing all the work himself. The doctors have decided to not remove the trach or downsize until we are cleared from the neurosurgeons at UNC, which won't be for a few more weeks. For now, I am still rejoicing in Adam's finger movement from yesterday! That was so awesome!!! I am so proud of how hard I see Adam work everyday. He is an amazing man and I love him so much.

Tonight I leave you with a song that I have been playing over and over and over... I love to worship and trust that God is ALL Adam and I need... We will continue to believe that God will fully restore Adam, trust in Him that He has a plan to work all of this for good... and through the journey we will be continuing to surrender to His perfect will.

Rita Springer "All I Need"

All I need to do is worship
All I need to do is say His name out loud
All I need to do is lift my hands, surrender
And bow down
All I need to do is find Him
All I need to do is let His presence fall
All I need to do is worship
Worship the Lord

When there’s no way out
Except through a miracle
When there’s no way up a mountain
Except to climb it
When everything you hope for
Seems gone
And every dream you’ve dreamed
Is so far away, that’s when I say...

All I need to do is worship
All I need to do is say His name out loud
All I need to do is lift my hands, surrender
And bow down
All I need to do is find Him
All I need to do is let His presence fall
All I need to do is worship
Worship the Lord

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Go Adam!!!

Oh my goodness I am so excited I feel like I can't type fast enough! Adam wiggled his left fingers on command 3 times!!! 3 times!!! He wiggled his fingers!!! 3 times!!! Go Adam!!!

So... how this all happened... the occupational therapist (Carolyn) and the physical therapist (Susan) rolled Adam into their gym today. They were stretching him and working different muscles... when the Carolyn was massaging Adam's forearm and telling Adam "it's these muscles that make your fingers work, Adam you use your brain to tell these muscles to move your fingers"... all 3 of us encouraged Adam and waited and watched as Adam moved his fingers! The last time he did it, he was exhausted and he kept looking at me then looking at his hand, then looking at me then back to his hand... I kept telling him that I believed in him, I know it's hard work, but he could do it. I told him he had to do it... and he did it!!! I am so proud of him he worked so hard.

Adam also got up on the tilt table, went outside today, made lots of noises for the speech therapist (Deidrea), tracked to the right for the second time, wore his painful boots for the longest time yet... overall it was a busy but great day! Exodus 23:25 "Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you " I am praising God for the miraculous works He is doing in Adam. I am in awe of His power! Thank you for your prayers, please keep praying for Adam's progress.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

God Is So Good

Psalm 107:1 "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

I am praising my faithful God! For He has heard the cries of the heart and has once again worked together things for good.

Our dog Daphene was returned this afternoon. I had posted online with craigslist, SPCA, animal shelters, we had taken flyers around to all the vets in the area, local stores and banks, posted signs in our neighborhood... I was determined to have Daphene home. When we went to a local vet to drop off the flyer they had mentioned that someone called saying they had picked up a weimararner and had given me her phone number. I called right away and got a voicemail... so we continued to post flyers and 2 hours later a lady called saying that she had Daphene... and an hour later sure enough it was her and she was reunited with us!!! God is so good.

I went to the hospital this morning to check on Adam and to get a feel for his day. When I got there I was told he had a fever of 103 and he was packed on ice... I instantly went into prayer for Adam's body and his temperature. I was in and out a few hours at a time all day... and by the time I left the hospital tonight Adam's temperature was 98.6!!! Again God is so good!

Adam was unable to do much in therapy today because of his temp. and the wear and tear it did on his body. We are hoping for a better day tomorrow. Praise God... so far all Adam's labs they drew last night and this morning have all come back negative, which means so infection! Again, God is so good!

I am rejoicing in God's goodness and still believing that if he can bring our lost dog home, and lower a fever, and bring Adam through so much... surely He could heal Adam in His timing. I am praising Him along the journey and knowing His goodness. Praise God that He is good and His love endures forever. My heart is so full of gratitude.

Thank you to so many of you prayer regularly for our family, God hears you!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Becoming Disciplined

Hang in there tonight... it's a long post.

Today in mine and Adam's morning time together, I was reading to him Hebrews 12 and towards the middle of the chapter it talks about discipline. I believe God is disciplining myself and Adam... not in a corrective way but in a way that is structured and routine. To be disciplined in trusting him that he is in control and has a plan.

Hebrews 12:7-13 "Endure hardship as discipline...God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 'Make level paths for your feet,' so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." I loved my footnote from my Bible, "God is not only a disciplining parent but also a demanding coach who pushes us to our limits and requires our lives to be disciplined. Although we may not feel strong enough to push on to victory, we will be able to accomplish it as we follow Christ and draw on his strength." The more I learn about God and what he desires for us the easier it is to endure hardship as discipline. When I can see the end result is going to be a harvest of righteousness and peace, I know I can keep going in this journey. I believe God is doing a work in Adam and in me... he is making us disciplined. So even through this trial and hardship I will continue to raise my hands to the heavens praising and worshiping my Creator and saying, "here we are Lord use us".

Tonight, I want to ask for prayer for our dog Daphene, she escaped this afternoon and we have been unable to find her. Several neighbors and myself walked and drove the streets looking for her and no sign of her. Please pray for her safe return.

Adam has been running a fever all day, but this evening it spiked to 102.5 Anytime his fever goes above 102 it means all new blood and lab draws to rule out infection. Adam also had a CT scan done again today and it showed no change... which is good, it means the fluid on the left isn't growing any at all and it means his fluid has stabilized. The doctors are increasing his medication for his muscle tone again tomorrow... Adam is so rigid they are just trying to get his muscles to relax and stop spasming. The moment I rejoiced in today... Physical therapy and Occupational therapy have been working with Adam to hold his head up and he hasn't been able to. I have noticed when I am pushing him in his wheelchair he does not like bumps... I think it's painful to go over them and feels every little bump. When I was pushing him today he held his head off the wheelchair's headpiece so that his head wouldn't bump against the back! So many times I have held his head for him so he wouldn't feel the bumps, but today he did all by himself!

Tomorrow is the day so many of you have set aside to fast and pray for Adam's recovery ( thank you for being so faithful and continuing to proclaim and declare full recovery over Adam's body and brain. We are so blessed to have so many awesome prayer warriors partnering with us. Please pray for progress in Adam's recovery. Pray for purposeful movements and an increase awareness. Please pray for his fever to be gone and not to return again. Please pray for the pain he is in with his muscle tone and the boots that help his feet (but cause pain), please pray that our insurance will make wise decisions and that God would allow them discernment that is much needed when they are discussing Adam's case. We have so much to be thankful and grateful for and it's important to praise God in our prayers for so many of the blessings he has already poured forth, so please join me praising and bowing in adoration to the King of kings who has already done so much. There is so much power in prayer. God hears your prayers and mine... and I am still trusting in God's timing, and in the mean time I am choosing to wait as patient as I possibly can with God's help.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Childlike Faith

Praising the Lord for answered prayers and for so many of you being faithful in praying for Adam! Many of you read the blog post from last night and must be praying... today Adam was alert and awake for most of the day. Almost every time I spoke to him or in his room he looked for me and looked at me! He was also very vocal today as well... like I said last night, I think he just needed the weekend of rest to rest up for therapies.

Adam's special boots were made and fitted to his feet today. These boots are designed to help return Adam's feet to a normal posture. Today they started putting them on Adam's feet for only short periods of time because they are so painful consistently stretching his feet. He seemed to do okay for most of the day. I am so proud of him! He truly is the strongest man I know, and I believe in him, he can do this... it's hard and sometimes hard to watch but I know he can do it.

Tonight while I was tucking Mackenzie in for bed and listening while she said her prayers I was so touched by her prayer. She asked God to continue to heal her dad's brain, she asked that He would bless everyone who has blessed us, and she prayed recognizing that God has plans even though we don't know what they are to please make us patient and obedient on the journey. She prayed this prayer with a genuine heart and I could tell everything she prayed for she truly believed God wasn't just listening, but doing something about it.

I love Mackenzie's love for her Jesus. I am so blessed that God has chosen me to be her mommy. There is something to be said for that childlike faith. Her faith and belief has been an example to me for many years... it's just simple, so many times I have made it more complicated than it is, yet watching her... it's just simple. Mark 10:14 & 15 "When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, 'Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 15 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.'"

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Memories... Remembering and Creating

Today my mind has been flooded with so many wonderful memories. These days tend to be more difficult for me and very emotional. I miss Adam so much my heart aches with physical pain. It just hurts. I praise God for all the special and wonderful memories we have and I can't wait to create thousands more, but on days like today... it's just hard. Tears.

Adam was alert for only short periods today and slept the rest of the day. I think he spent the weekend resting up so that tomorrow when therapies restart he'll be ready! I miss him. I love my man so much and I am so incredibly thankful for the man that he is and that God has made him to be. I know God has plans for all of this, and I am holding onto that promise.

I thank you to all of you who have continued to faithfully lift Adam and our family up in prayer. God hears you, please keep praying. Pray specifically for the fluid on the left side of his brain to vanish. Pray for Adam to be more alert and aware. Pray for his muscle tone, this is causing him a lot of discomfort and pain. Pray for the nursing staff that takes care of him. Pray for the therapists. Pray for all of Adam's medications to be figured out. Pray for Mackenzie who has had several really rough days. Thank you all for your prayers. God is so faithful Psalm 36:5 "Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies."

Mackenzie and I were blessed with tickets to go see the play Annie, it was so great to create a memory this summer that was outside the hospital walls. She has been an amazing trooper spending hours and hours at the hospital right by my side. She was blessed with a craft tote filled with lots of arts and crafts and she carries this with her everyday. She has made so many wonderful crafts and created some really beautiful cards. I have been blessed that she has been so wonderfully entertained and doesn't mind the hours at the hospital... but today I could see how special she felt getting to go to a play and break away from the hospital for a bit. We both feel so blessed, thank you so much for all you have done for us... God will repay what we cannot, and I pray He pours forth His blessings on each and everyone of you.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

God Is My Guide

Jeremiah 10:23 "I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps."

Psalm 37:23 "If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm"

Isaiah 30:21 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"

No matter how lonely the journey feels at times, this journey is not for Adam and I to walk it alone or unguided. God has made it clear to me that He is here to guide me and strengthen me only when I acknowledge that this is not for me to walk on my own. He will show me the way and walk before me each and every step. This provides comfort that is indescribable, only God can comfort in this way. It's a choice again for me to choose to be obedient to walk in His ways no matter how difficult the journey... He provides the strength and comfort needed for the journey if I trust in Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding but in every step acknowledge Him and He will make the path straight (Proverbs 3:5 & 6).
A really good friend sent me this quite this week and I wrote it down and have been carrying with me, it's a reminder that God is guiding each step... "The will God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you." (unknown) God is in control of mine and Adam's destiny, and no matter the difficulty He is going before Adam and I and carrying us through.

Adam was able to get a lot of rest today, which is good for him. He has been in a lot of pain the last 3 days. It's the first time I have visibly seen facial expressions showing pain. He has been treated for the pain, but it's excruciating. Please pray that God will relieve of this pain. I think he has severe headaches and his back is in pain. When I asked the nurse for ice bags I put one on is head and when he was laying on his side I put one on his back where he had the spinal fractures. He seemed to relax and calm down when the ice was there. Today Mackenzie and I brought our scrapbooking materials to the hospital and set up shop in the cafeteria, we had such a great time. Adam joined us for almost 3 hours, it was great family time! Then he went back and rested. I continued to check on him and periodically sit with him a little every hour... but while he was resting we were being creative and spending wonderful time together.

I feel so encouraged seeing how God has walked so faithfully before me each step of this journey, and I am trusting in Him for what is yet to come. He is faithful and true, and He loves us... oh how He loves.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Majestic God

Today I am praising our God for how creative he truly is. Late last spring (2009) I read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan and then our youth group read it and did the DVD series early this year. Today I began reading it to Adam. Every time I have read this book and are exposed to how creative and amazing our God is... I can't put it down, I want to keep reading. However, Adam can only handle about 20 minutes of me reading to him at a time before he needs a break. Being forced to set it down and reflect on who God is has been so great. Instead of plowing through the book (which is easy to do with this book) when I pause to let Adam rest I ponder what I just read and I am in awe of our Creator.

Psalm 8

1 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory
above the heavens.

2 From the lips of children and infants
you have ordained praise
because of your enemies,
to silence the foe and the avenger.

3 When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
you put everything under his feet:

7 all flocks and herds,
and the beasts of the field,

8 the birds of the air,
and the fish of the sea,
all that swim the paths of the seas.

9 O LORD, our Lord,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Overall Adam had an okay day. He was pretty sleepy for most of the day, and even slept through his therapy sessions. Hopefully by Monday all the medication changes will be figured out. Adam had a special visitor today, he had a kid who was in the neuro care unit not quite a year ago stop by with his dad and they talked with Adam and I for a bit. Robert is doing really well, he is starting to speak and was walking and they stopped by to encourage Adam and tell him it gets better. Not only did they encourage Adam, but I was really encouraged too. He's not even a year past his accident and he's doing great. I was truly blessed by our visit, it was truly an honor that they shared their story.

I will update more tomorrow, I am so tired tonight and my eyes are getting heavy. Thanks for all your prayers... God hears you.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Prayer Is The Answer

Thank you all for praying for Adam's storms and fever. We made it through the entire day with not one storm!!! He still has a fever, but it has slowly been coming down throughout the day! God is so faithful in answering your prayers for Adam... thank you for your prayers and support. Keep those prayers going, God hears you and He is responding!

Adam was sleepy for a lot of the day, but he had some great moments of being alert and awake. Physical therapy and occupational therapy got Adam into his wheelchair twice today and Adam tolerated really well. So this morning we were able to go outside for quite awhile, he even got to have speech therapy outside. Then this afternoon it was too warm to sit outside so we sat in the cafeteria and since it was closed it was nice and quiet and cool. It was so great getting Adam out of his room for awhile today!

Colossians 2:6-7 "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."

My heart will continue to give thanks to my Savior for he has given me one more precious day with the love of my life. He has sustained me beyond comprehension. He has blessed me with wonderful friends and family. He is my All in All. My prayer is the scripture verse above. So many of you have asked how you can pray for me, please pray the scripture above. Thank you so much. When I continue to give thanks and stay walking with Him daily He gives me strength and my heart is content even in my current circumstances. Only God can do that. I love my Savior.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Body of Christ

I have been blessed and I am so blessed. Thank you to all the families that came over tonight and did so many of the things Adam usually does. Thank you for cleaning air filters, changing the oil in the cars and cleaning them, taking care of our garden, cooking dinner, fixing our computer (which was experienced the blue screen of death a couple of days ago, thanks to a nasty storm), and so much more. You all have shown me such a beautiful picture of what the body of Christ looks like.

Romans 12: 4 & 5 "Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others."

Today I was having my time with God and I was praying and really trying so hard to listen. God has been so faithful in speaking to me and today when I asked Him why I haven't heard from Him, I got this... "Let my body speak for me". Knowing that so many families were coming to bless us I knew what God was trying to tell me. His body was coming over and it was through their selfless acts of kindness that each of them was being used by God as His body. What a neat thing it was to reflect on that and to see His body tangibly. What a gift on so many levels. Again thank you for all your help. Watching so many people serve as a member of the body of Christ really makes me want to be more intentional about using the gifts God has given me so that I can bless others. Being a member of the body of Christ is such a privilege, but it is also a responsibility. I pray that God will make me aware of my gifts and I offer all of me to be used by Him. Again, I am so blessed by the body of Christ... not just the ones who were physically here, but also all of you who are serving Him by being obedient to your gifts, by praying for our family and supporting our family in other ways. Thank you.

Overall Adam's day was very similar to the last couple of days. He had a few storms, his fever has been up, and he was busy with therapy. Today an orthotics doctor came and looked at Adam's feet. Between him and the physical and occupational therapist they decided Adam needed special made boots to help keep his feet in a normal posture. So the process began today, the orthotics expert came and put casts on Adam's feet, measured his feet, and made molds... all this will help make Adam special boots that will help pull his feet back to a normal posture. Hopefully by next week after several fittings and tries Adam will be fitted with new boots.

Part of what has made Adam's feet loose their posture is that his muscle tone has gotten so bad so the doctor increased his medication for his muscle tone. I didn't like the medication they had him on for his tone, it made him to sleepy so they switched his medication. The doctor also increased Adam's medication for his storming and for his blood pressure and heart rate. With all these medication changes please pray that Adam will adjust quickly to these changes and that there will be no side effects to these changes. God is good and I know He is holding Adam.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A New Normal

Adam, Mackenzie, and I are beginning our new normal. With all the family trickling out, our new normal begins. This evening we said our goodbye to Adam's mom Cookie who will be driving home to Oregon tomorrow morning. Adam's aunt Kimberley flew out here to drive back with her. So tonight we had dinner and said our "until next time". It was good to spend some time with them before their long journey. Please pray for a safe trip and wonderful memories to be had.

It's sad and somewhat hard to say goodbye, but it's a good feeling to be taking the next step in our journey. While every one's lives have been altered, and I am not discounting that at all... it's hard to watch those who have visited go home and go back to their normal lives. Our new normal is filled with so much joy, excitement, and love, it's also filled with moments of sorrow and extreme pain. I come home to a house where all our family memories are, a bed that I shared with Adam, constant reminders of what our life looked like 2 and half months ago. This is hard and sometimes the most difficult part of my day is coming home. I have decided with our new normal beginning, I will be sleeping in our bed tonight for the first time since before Adam's accident. So cheers to our new normal... I can't wait to see what God has in store for us!

Today has been a day where I am feeling so filled my the spirit. I have been able to see God and feel His presence all around. I have been processing what my new normal is going to look like and I was reminded by a whisper in my ear, "don't worry about it, remember I am in control". It was so good to hear the whisper and feel peace knowing that He has all of us in His hands. He is carrying us through and will continue to hold us, and piece us all back together again. How wonderful and comforting it is to be reminded, by my Lord himself that He is taking care of everything and then on top of it to be washed with peace. Our God is awesome. I love my sweet Jesus. My prayer is that I can keep my mind on Him and continue to trust Him to guide each and every step. Isaiah 26:3 "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you."

Adam had a lot of storming today. Several times throughout the day his blood pressure sky rocketed, his heart rate was out of control, his fever came back and again he had to lay on ice. He was able to get up and into his wheelchair for more than 20 minutes today (he has been averaging 2 hours), so overall I could just tell he felt icky all day. One moment that I thought was neat... You know when you hold something for a toddler or young child to smell and instead of taking a deep breath and inhale, they will do several short exhales (if you don't have any clue what I am talking about, I'm sorry) anyway today the speech therapist was working with Adam and she was trying to get him to smell different scents. Instead of inhaling he did several short exhales (but they were strong) which was quite funny because it sent garlic powder flying and the same when he smelt the coffee grounds. He also moved his mouth quite a bit while trying to smell.

Tonight when I left Adam, he was looking like he was resting comfortably and looked so peaceful. Please pray that he will sleep well tonight and pray for no storms. One praise is that Adam has been on a normal sleeping pattern. For brain injured patients usually their sleep pattern gets all out of sorts and then they are sleepy during the day and wide awake at night. This does not make for good therapy sessions... the awesome praise for Adam is that he has been sleeping consistently about 6 or 7 hours at night which is so great. Please pray for rest tonight and for his sleeping pattern to remain healthy.

Thanks for all your faithful prayers. It's time for me to climb into our bed... I am missing Adam so much. I love my man.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Love Me Some Small Group

Thank you for all your prayers regarding Adam's fever, it broke this morning!!!! Adam overall had a great day. He did not have one storm today, and he looks like he is feeling so much better. This afternoon physical and occupational therapy put Adam back up on their special table that helps to put Adam in standing position and get his body used to being upright. He seems to do really well it. Adam was very vocal today while he was capped and had his valve on he was making sure we knew he was there today. I love hearing his voice, it gives me so much that some day I will once again get to carry on a conversation with him. I miss him so much, I would do anything to hear him say "I love you babe".

This morning Adam and I had such a wonderful devotional time today. He had his eyes opened the whole time and was focusing on me the entire conversation that I was carrying on. I laughed, and cried and just relished in the sheer pleasure that God gave us more time together. God is so good. Theses moments that we share that go uninterrupted by nurses, doctors, therapy sessions are so far and few between, I just cherish every second. These moments that God gives me encourage me to remain strong in Him and to continue to trust in Him, because He is the giver of life, and He is the one who blesses us with these moments together. 2 Samuel 7:28 "O Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your words are trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant."

Another goodbye... I took my mom to the airport this afternoon, goodbye was hard. My mom has done so much for me. She has maintained my home, helped with Mackenzie, been my shoulder to cry on, she's done a lot. She done more that I am aware of, of this I am sure. Mom, thanks for all you have done and continue to do, I love you.

So many of you have been faithful in sending us cards, letters, words of encouragement, care packages, and so much more... thank you all so much, I might not be able to verbally thank you all, but words cannot express how much this means to us. It's a reminder that there are so many of you partnering with my family while we are on such a long journey. Thank you. (Adam enjoys it too, I share every word with him!)

Tonight was the first time I have attended our small group since Adam's accident. This group has been such a rock for my family, holding me up, being behind the scenes on so many levels (again I am not even sure I am aware of all they have done and continue to do), they have made so many long treks out to UNC to sit with me, pray with me, encourage me, they continue to meet so many of the needs that our family has... we are honored to be in such an amazing group. Truly there is no way I could have come this far on this journey without them. I love you guys, thanks for all you have done, and all you continue to do. We are so blessed by you all. Romans 12:15 (New King James Version) "Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." Thank you all for rejoicing with me in all the good moments, and weeping with me when I need to weep. We love you all so much!

Our Family (small group)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl

Today was Mackenzie's 10th birthday. She has entered the double digits!!! She and I have grown up together. When I look back at the last 10 years, I can't believe how much we have been through, I pray that God will use Mackenzie in a mighty powerful way with the hard life she has had to face at such a young age. She is a remarkable kid, full of life and spirit and loves the Lord. I am blessed that God gave her to me. I love being her mom, even in the most trying moments.

Today was the first day in 65 days that I left the hospital for the entire afternoon. I know Adam would want me to spend Mackenzie's birthday with her and that's just what we did. We didn't do much, mainly just spent time together at home and had dinner and birthday dirt (yes Mackenzie chose dirt cake over ice cream cake... she's funny) with family and then Mackenzie and I went to the hospital this evening to spend some time with Adam. Overall it was a nice day. Honestly I had to work really hard to be okay being away from Adam for as long as I was, this was so hard. I am sure the nurses got sick of me calling to check on him as frequently as I did.

This morning while I was with Adam his fever was still pretty high, reaching very close to 103. The nurses packed ice all around his body to try to lower his temperature. They finally were able to get it as low as 101 this afternoon, but by this evening it was back up to 102.6 and ice was once again packed all around his body. If you ever want to torture me, force me to lay on ice... just typing this brings me to tears seeing what Adam goes through. The good news about his fever is so far all his labs are coming back negative so the fever is pointing towards central storming (last night's post describes this). Please pray Adam's fever and all this storming will resolve sooner than later. It's so hard to watch him suffer and there's nothing I can do. I just hate this.

I am so grateful to know that God is in control and He has Adam in His hands. With this in mind and trusting and relying on God it makes this painful process worth enduring, because I know He has great and mighty plans for His warrior. This takes constant discipline to remind myself that God has Adam and He has everything under control including Adam's fever and storming. Deuteronomy 32:4 "He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he" Dear God, You are my rock that I am standing firm on, thank you for being constant, I praise you for your works and for what is yet to come. Your ways Lord are perfect. Thank you for holding Adam in Your hands, thank you for being in control of his fever and his storming. I come before You tonight and boldly ask that you touch Adam's body, bring rest to his body, take this fever and storming from him. God, thank you for tearing the veil so that I can be so intimate with You. The times we share and how You draw me so much closer to You is so powerful. Thank you for all You have done in our family, for what You are doing, and for what You will do. I praise you and worship you tonight with my shattered praise. I love you. Amen.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Storms, Nuerological and Thunder

I love a good storm. I have posted before how amazing and creative God is through a storm. With the rolling boisterous thunder declaring God's power and the quick flashes of light that remind us to be the light unto darkness. Job 26:7-9, 11-14"He spreads out the northern skies over empty space; he suspends the earth over nothing. He wraps up the waters in his clouds, yet the clouds do not burst under their weight. He covers the face of the full moon, spreading his clouds over it. The pillars of the heavens quake, aghast at his rebuke. By his power he churned up the sea.... By his breath the skies become fair.... And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the whisper we hear of him! How then can we understand the thunder of his power?"

So many times Adam and I have sat on our front porch in our rocking chairs watching a storm come through, oh how I love those times and conversations Adam and I have shared on those nights. I cherish each of those storms we shared and I look forward to sitting in our rockers with my incredibly strong man again some day.

Oh how I wish I could be sitting on our front porch with Adam watching the storm that is taking place outside as I type. Instead I have been watching Adam experience his own storms today. He spent most of this morning and afternoon fighting neurological storms. I believe this is his body declaring God's mighty and powerful hand at work in his brain... knitting it back together inch by inch.

Adam spiked another fever of 102 this morning. Which meant another round of all sorts of lab work. Blood draws, urine samples, chest xrays, and more. Because they just discontinued the antibiotics and then the fever came back the doctor tends to believe this is infection trying to declare itself... it could also be a central fever meaning, if there is no increase of white blood cells in his blood culture then the fever could be a result of the damage done to his thalamus and hypothalamus which controls body temperature. So since there is damage done to those areas Adam's brain is working in overdrive trying to control his body temperature. I am praying this is the case and that the blood work will be negative for infection. I should have most of his test results by Monday and will post what they show.

Mackenzie and I have reunited!!!!!!!!!!!! I am pretty sure she grew a foot while she was gone. Mackenzie is needing prayer, she is adjusting back to this crazy new normal for us as well as detoxing (for those of you who know us, you know what this means and you all know how to pray specifically for this).

I am praising God tonight for how faithful He is and how good He is. The storms revealed how mighty and powerful He truly is... He is enough for me.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Tonight is going to be a short update, because I am drained and exhausted.

T minus 10 hours till I get to see Mackenzie!!! I can't wait to have her back home!!! Please pray for safe travels for her and my sister who is flying out here with her. My sister is amazing, and truly loves me a lot... she is flying Mackenzie out here just to turn around 2 hours later and fly back to Seattle. She truly loves us so much... I love you Brookie.

Adam had his CT today and according to Dr. Ng (Adam's doctor at WakeMed) and the UNC neurosurgeons... his CT showed the same results last week. Still a little fluid on the left that they will keep their eyes on, but nothing that concerns them!!! Please pray that the fluid on the left will continue to resolve on it's own.

Overall Adam had a very good and alert day today!

My meditation verse and prayer today has been "May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." Psalm 33:22

Thank you God that you and you alone are our source of hope. I am in awe of your love for me. Thank you Jesus for the blood spilled to wash away my sins and my me whole again. You are so powerful and mighty. I thank you for whispers in my ear of how you have Adam in your hands and that you have mighty plans for him. I am holding onto your promises, please continue to guide my steps on this journey so that I can walk faithfully in your ways. I love you and it's in your precious name I pray. Amen.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Savior's Love

My Savior's Love (I love this hymn)

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!

For me it was in the garden
He prayed: “Not My will, but Thine.”
He had no tears for His own griefs,
But sweat drops of blood for mine.

Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!

In pity angels beheld Him,
And came from the world of light
To comfort Him in the sorrows
He bore for my soul that night.

Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calv’ry,
And suffered and died alone.

Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
Oh, how marvelous!
Oh, how wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.

This song has been stuck in my head today, what an awesome and amazing song to be singing over and over throughout the day. God has been so amazing at showing his marvelous and wonderful love for me today. Personal little details and things have happened today where I just know it was God providing for me and taking care of my every need. He truly cares about every little detail. 2 Corinthians 9:8 "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

Warning... Long update.

As for Adam's day he had a big day. He officially received his 23 IV and not one nurse was able to get it so they had to call in the anesthesiologist to do it, poor Adam has become a pin cushion, he's been poked way too many times. After a long day of going back and forth with the doctor here, the PA (physician's assistant), and the doctors at UNC... they all finally agreed to do a CT on Adam, just to recheck the fluid situation on the left side of his brain. I will not get the results back until tomorrow, so please pray that the CT looks clean and good.

Because Adam is not out of the woods yet for potentially more surgeries the doctor does not want to downsize or start to close Adam's trach until they know for sure he won't need it anymore. However, the doctor gave the okay to cap it for a couple of hours a day!!! This means they put a cap over the opening and Adam does all the breathing on his own and requires no extra oxygen! Today he was capped for 2 and half hours and he did awesome!

Today speech therapy worked with Adam and gave Adam ice chips... it was the first time since we have been back that Adam swallowed the ice chips! The last couple of days he's been choking on it and it's been going down the wrong tube... but today he chewed and swallowed! Go Adam!

Another "Go Adam" moment came when I was sitting in the chair in his room and all of a sudden he opened his eyes real wide and started to make a moaning noise. I rushed to his side and he was trying so hard to tell me something. I was stressed and almost looked scared. I ran and grabbed the speech therapist and I told her I knew he was trying to tell me something. He kept moaning and staring at me, he tried so hard he broke into a sweat and worked his heart rate into the 120's. Finally I figured it out, he was laying on his left side and he doesn't do well on his left. Once I figured out he was uncomfortable the speech therapist helped me reposition him and he was fine! His heart rate came down, he calmed down and even started to rest again... I love that he tried so hard to tell me. He is amazing!

As for the infection, the other blood test came back negative, however, because he was persistent with a fever the doctor wasn't convinced that Adam wasn't fighting an infection. He said that Adam declared for himself that he was fighting something having had a fever for a couple of days, so they have continued to keep him on antibiotics. I will find out tomorrow how much longer they will be keeping him on the antibiotics... but for now Adam is doing really well and has had no fever in the last 48 hours!

Today's blessing, I was able to take Adam back outside today! I sat outside and read to him, it was wonderful. I love being outside with him... no humming noise from his oxygen, no hospital bed... it's so great to just be with him. I love him so much.

As for Mackenzie... we are counting down the moments till I get to see her. As of right now this moment it is 2,046 minutes and counting. Her birthday is Sunday and I so excited to get her back here before her birthday.

I am so blessed to know my Savior's love for me and also know that he loves Adam and Mackenzie much... He is with them showering His love onto them. I am blessed to know that Adam and Mackenzie also know their Savior's love. We love you Jesus.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Believing God and His Promises

Thank you so much to so many of you how have emailed me, dropped music off to me, and texted me songs today!!! I love music and sometimes all I can do is put my ear buds in and close my eyes and just be in His presence. You all are amazing for being so diligent in responding to my request, please keep the music coming!

Having been in despair the last couple of days and in a place where pain was so significant, it's nice to share that today has been a day where I was able to come up for some air.

First praise, Adam was more awake today, he opened his eyes a few times and almost seemed annoyed when I was shaving him ;) This made me smile. Kathleen helped me give Adam a haircut that is actually even. Through all his surgeries they would only shave the area that they were working on... so Adam had like 6 different lengths of hair... it was ridiculous, and humorous.

Second praise... Physical therapy got Adam up on a special table that put him in a standing position and then put him in his wheelchair. Once he was in his wheelchair I was given the okay to wheel him outside! This is a big deal because Adam is still on oxygen, so for them to let me take him off it for a little bit was huge! Cale and Kathleen joined Adam and I and we had a double date! We went for coffee and sat outside it was wonderful. The four of us also shared a wonderful time of prayer, this was really special.

Third praise... I was able to speak to Mackenzie!!!!!!!!!!!! I got 4 minutes long enough to say that we missed each other and love each other and then it was time for her to go... but it was so great. Oh how I love that kid! Can't wait till Saturday morning when she gets back. She was so precious telling me that where she was she was thinking so much about me because there were tons of monarch butterflies, she said it made her feel like both God and I were with her. I am so blessed that God picked me to be her mom, such an honor.

Adam and I were having our devotional time today and God put the most amazing scripture verse in our path today. This is a scripture that I will carry with me from now on... it was God's way of encouraging both of us to keep going that we were chosen by Him. Isaiah 43:10 "'You are my witnesses,' declares the LORD, 'and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.'" I pondered this scripture for awhile, because it says "believe me" not in me, but believe me... While there is no doubt that I believe in God, but there have been many times that I have struggled to believe Him and His promises. Today God spoke directly to my heart and was showing me that I need to continue to believe Him because He is who He says He is... I need to hold onto Him and His promises for us, He promises hope and a future and that is what I am holding onto.

Specific prayer requests... please continue to pray that Adam's neurological storms will be manageable. Please also pray for the left side of Adam's brain to absorb the fluid that his last CT showed was building up, I am praying and believing that the next CT (which will be tomorrow or Friday) will show no excess fluid... because my God is bigger than this brain injury. Please pray for Adam's body to rest and recover from the last couple of days. Pray for Mackenzie's protection and safe travels.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Boldly Asking

If there has ever been a day that I have been so grateful for so many people praying... this has been one of those days.

84 more hours until I get to see my sweet girl, I miss her like crazy and I can't wait to see her. I have not been able to reach her the last couple of days... I am tyring really hard to not get upset, but to understand that everything happens for a reason... anyway... I am praying God's covering and protection over my little girl. I am praying that she feels His comforting presence all around her, she doesn't just feel His peace, but knows His peace. I miss her, I miss Adam... my hear is just hurting from how much I am missing the 2 people I share daily life with. I miss my family.

Adam has not had a very good day. He has stormed from 11pm last night till 3:30pm today when he finally fell asleep. Needless to say therapy sessions didn't get much from him today. He would open his eyes but would not look at me only through me... he just wasn't there today. But I know wherever he is, God is with him and holding him. We have learned for every step forward there may be 2 or 3 steps back... these last couple of days have been a few steps back.

1 John 5:14 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." Hebrews 4:16 (NKJV) says "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Please join me in continuing to approach the throne of grace with confidence and ask God with boldness for Adam's full recovery, I am asking God to remove all excess fluid build up in Adam's brain. I am asking God to restore to me my husband. I am believing in nothing less than above and beyond full recovery. My God is bigger than this brain injury.

Music has such amazing healing power, if there is a song that God puts on your heart for Adam and I please send it to us. There have been moments on this journey when I can't do anything else but listen to God's word through song and He has spoken to me through music, praise, song. I love my sweet Jesus, oh how my heart loves to praise Him. You can email me at or mail a copy of the song to my home address. If you need my address please email me.

Meredith Andrews "In Your Arms"

I'm turning the world off
Embracing the silence
Walking away from all the voices
That are Screaming in my ear

I've been too caught up
I've been so stressed out
All of the noise replaced the whisper
That used to be so clear

So I close every door
Put my face back on the floor

And I'm in Your arms
Where I belong
There's no other place for me
Than right where You are
Some things just don't change
When I call Your name
You never hesitate to wrap me in endless grace
When I'm in Your arms

I'm letting my fears go
Giving You control
For You are the one who holds me closer
In my soul's darkest night

Everything I see
Is so temporary
So help me to run the race before me
With eternity in sight

Now I close every door
Put my face back on the floor

And I'm in Your arms
Where I belong
There's no other place for me
Than right where You are
Some things just don't change
When I call Your name
You never hesitate to wrap me in endless grace
When I'm in Your arms

To sit at Your feet
At Your table of mercy
To gaze on Your beauty, my Lord
To drink from Your well
And be changed by Your glory
How could I ask for more
Jesus, how could I ask for more

And I'm in Your arms
Where I belong
There's no other place for me
Than right where You are
Some things just don't change
When I call Your name
You never hesitate to wrap me in endless grace
When I'm in Your arms

Monday, July 12, 2010

Missing My Man and My Kiddo

Adam worked hard today in all of his therapy sessions. This morning I had another cool moment of him trying to communicate with me. I would say something and he would moan back and we went back and forth for almost an hour! I ran out to the hall and grabbed the speech therapist and she was able to see Adam trying to carry on a conversation. It was so great. Adam was a little more awake today than he had been the last couple of days which might be an indication that his body is adjusting to the medication changes.

So today the other blood test result still shows no growth, which is a good thing, but it can take up to 7 days for it to grow something. I am praying and believing that this second test will continue to be a negative result. The infectious disease doctor came in today to look at Adam and he all Adam's surgical sites looked good and he said he will continue to monitor Adam over the next couple of days to see if the infection will declare itself. As of this evening Adam is still running a temperature over 100. They are still giving him the antibiotics that the doctor started last night, so hopefully this will continue to help. Just when Adam was allowed time to rest this evening for the first time all day, he started to have a neurological storm... he just can't catch a break. Please continue to pray against infection and for Adam to start to feel better, I can visibly see that he does not feel well. Also pray for him to get some good rest so that his body can continue to heal. Thank you all for being so faithful in praying for my man.

Psalm 69: 1 & 2 "Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me."

I miss my family, I miss being a family. Adam is lying in a hospital bed and Mackenzie is in Washington state and tonight I was unable to speak to her... I am missing both of them so much that my heart is truly torn in shreds, but I know and can hold onto God's truths and promises... God knows the depths of my pain and He his grace is present, as I continue to present my requests to Him, He has been faithful to give me peace in return... my meditation today comes from Philippians 4:6-8 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Please continue to pray for us, I have admired you all so much for being so faithful with your prayers and my prayer for all of you is that God will strengthen each of you to continue to pray without ceasing... thank you.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I Have To Believe

Isaiah 54:10 "Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has compassion on you."

Rita Springer "I have to believe"

I have to believe, he sees my darkness
I have to believe, he knows my pain
I have to lift up, my hands to Worship
Worship his name

I have to declare, that he is my refuge
I have to deny, that i am alone
I have to lift up, my eyes to the mountains,
that's where my help, it comes from

He said that he's forever faithful
He said that he's forever true
He said that he can move mountains
If he can move mountains
He can move my mountain,
he can move your mountain too

I have to stand tall, when the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong, when I'm weak and afraid
I have to grab hold, a hold of the garments,
the garments of praise

He said that he's forever faithful
He said that he's forever true
He said that he can move mountains
If he can move mountains
He can move my mountain, he can move your mountain too

I have to sing praise, when the hour is midnight
He unlocks these chains, that bind up my soul
My sin and my shame he has forgiven, and made me whole

He said that he's forever faithful
He said that he's forever true
He said that he can move mountains
If he can move mountains
He can move my mountain, he can move your mountain too
He's got everything under control

I have to believe
Lord I believe, help my unbelief
I have to believe in you
I have to believe

God is so faithful to move my mountains, I have to continue believing that He is all I need. Because HE IS ALL I NEED... Amen!!! No matter what the future holds, He is all I need, His grace is sufficient, He is in control! I love my God, my Savior, King of kings, Lord of all in all. I will continue to praise His name... my meditation in scripture today came from Psalm 103: 1-5 "Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things" How can you not praise the Lord and be in awe with a scripture verse that states "who (speaking of God) redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love" That's amazing, because God's love is never ending, it's everlasting.

Oh how I appreciate my husband's graciousness... my feet are always cold and every night when I climb into bed the first thing I would do is put my feet on Adam's legs so that his body heat would warm up my feet. He graciously would let me do this to him on a regular basis... and every time I would, I would always let him know how much I appreciated him for letting me do this. This was a sheer act of love. Last night I climbed into Adam's hospital bed with him and because I had been wearing flip flops my feet were cold... I put my feet on his legs and told him what a good man he is... I closed my eyes and laid my head on his chest and for a couple of hours while I laid there... all was right with the world. Oh how I miss him. Tears.

Please continue to pray for Adam's health. He has developed an infection, we won't know what strand of infection until tomorrow when the 2nd blood test comes back, but today we found out that one of his blood tests yesterday came back positive today. The doctor started him on a broad spectrum antibiotic tonight and IV fluids, once the doctor narrows down what the infection is then he can treat Adam with a specific type of antibiotic. Please pray that this infection heals quickly and that this will not cause any major complications. This journey will continue to have ups and downs, last week we rejoiced in many "ups", and this week we will start our week by praying through the "downs". I am holding onto the fact that when God is in control there is no steps backwards.

Please also keep Mackenzie in your prayers as she is back in Washington state visiting family and as she put it... she is missing her mommy. Please pray for perseverance for her week and that she can enjoy her week and create wonderful memories. I miss her so much... I am counting down the hours until Saturday when I can kiss her face.

Thank you all for praying for my mom, she is doing much better today. She has had the worst luck... first chiggers and today she was stung by a bee for the first time in her life. Well Mom, welcome to North Carolina.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Fever, Chiggers, and God's Plan

I am writing to you tonight asking you all once again to pray for Adam. He has spiked a pretty high fever today and so with that a whole bunch of tests have been ordered. He has had a full blood work up, lab draws, chest xrays and more, please pray that the source of infection can be found and treated quickly.

Since we changed hospitals the doctors here decided to change Adam's medications as well. The doctors put him on 2 more medications one for muscle spasms and one for his neurological storms. The one for his muscle spasms is making him so drowsy and lethargic (I am sure the fever and infection are playing apart of it too). So tonight I pray that he can continue to rest and sleep well so that his body will fight off this infection and he can continue to heal. I continue to place Adam in God's hands and trust Him that He has Adam and He has plans to restore his health.

Jeremiah 30:17 "'But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds.' Declares the Lord."

Please pray for my mom too... my mom has been out here visiting and was bitten by chigger bugs a couple of nights ago and after spending hours at the urgent care clinic today she was given a prescription medication and it still hasn't helped. Please pray for her, she is in so much pain and there is nothing that seems to sooth it.

Once again I sit here by Adam's beside pondering the question... "What would I do without my hope in Jesus?" What do people do without letting God be in control and trusting that He has a plan? I count it a privilege that God chose to give me everlasting life through His son's blood, so that I can sit here and hold onto His promises. He is in control and He will continue to reign in our home and in our lives forever and ever... because He has great plans for us. I am so amazed by God's timing of everything... I am so blessed to know my husband's faith, and how much he loves his Savior, his Healer, his All in All. It makes sitting here next to him peaceful and wonderful knowing I am not having to question where he is in his faith journey... I have been blessed enough to walk so much of it with him. Having had this security in our marriage is a gift in and of itself... Adam is an amazing spiritual leader of our home and he has done a tremendous job trusting God and fulfilling his role as a Godly man and Godly father. This has been and will be the greatest gift he could ever give me. I love my man.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Goodbye UNC, Hello WakeMed

I have been so exhausted the last 3 days because I have not been able to get a restful sleep. I have been relying heavily on God to give me the strength to make it through each hour of the day. This has been my prayer today Psalms 119:28 “My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word.”

Dear God, thank you for my strength today, I am exhausted from so many emotions. When I am incapable of the smallest task, you have given me Your strength in abundance. You have given comfort to my weary soul and in my times of sorrow today, you have shown me that you care so much about me. You have shown me how much you take care of every need and all the details. I love you. I thank you so much for Your word, how I love to get lost in Your sweet words. Continue to take me away with You, each day I open Your word… take me away. I ask for a fresh pour from Your living word. Thank you for speaking to me, thank you for drawing me into your loving arms today. You are amazing. It’s in Your powerful name I pray… Amen.

Wow, what a busy day today… Adam was moved from UNC Neuroscience Hospital this morning to WakeMed Neuro Care Hopsital. It was so hard to say goodbye to so many awesome staff members at UNC, so many of them have forever left a hand print on our lives. To all the awesome nurses, therapists, doctors, and the greatest social worker ever and the Starbucks crew at UNC… thanks for all you guys have done you are all amazing and have done such a wonderful job taking care of my man. You have all touched my heart in a way that I know I am forever changed. The transition went smoothly, but exhausting for Adam. He is so exhausted not only from the journey, but once he got over the WakeMed this afternoon we was seen by all three of the therapist (Physical, Occupational, and Speech), the PA (Physicians Assistant), the dietitian, and the doctor… each of them having their own set of assessments and exams… and that’s not to count the nurses just doing his normal care… so it’s been a busy day for him.

I think just watching Adam made me physically exhausted. It's truly like we are one body, I feel him and know him in a new way now, when he's feeling something I can usually tell what it is or know exactly what it is without any verbal and very little physical communication. While I love knowing my husband so well, I miss him terribly. Oh how I long to hear his voice, I can't wait till the day when he holds me and kisses me back. I miss him. It's days like today when missing him hurts so much, that I am so grateful that every moment we have shared has not been taken for granted... both before the accident and after. While I miss him, I am so glad God chose to spare him. I love my man and I am so proud of him.

Please continue to pray specifically for the fluid build up on the left side of Adam’s brain, the doctor at WakeMed said they will be doing another CT to check on it next week, please pray that it will show no fluid. Thank you all so much for praying for Adam and our family… your prayers do make a difference, not give up praying.

Pictures from our time at UNC and our goodbyes... I was sad that I was not able to get pictures of all the special people that have made this journey easier, but here a few special pictures...

Starbucks is located inside the hospital and every time we would step into Starbucks it was like we left the hospital for a bit... we spent the countless hours of waiting out many of Adam's surgeries in Starbucks.

This is Dee Adam's physical therapist, we love Dee!

This is Adam's awesome Speech Therapist, Terra

This is sweet Bunnie, she was one of Adam's Respiratory Therapists

This is Jen, she is the rock star social worker who has been amazing to get so much done for us so quickly, she is truly a rock star in my book!

This is Renee, she is one of the NA's on the floor Adam got moved to in the Neuroscience Hospital at UNC

This is Crystal she has been Adam's nurse the last couple of days, she is so sweet, thank you Crystal for all you've done.

This was part of the UNC crew that had to say goodbye to Adam and hug us on our way out of UNC

The welcome mat at WakeMed to greet us once we arrived. I was able to ride in the ambulance with Adam.
This was not the only thing to greet us when we arrived, Kathleen was there too and she and Cale made a welcome back sign for Adam's room and gave me a couple really special gifts. It has been weeks since we have seen eachother and it was so good to see her. Go check out her blog, she and Cale are moving to a Rehab hospital in California this coming week... such exciting news.
A new chapter of this journey began today when we arrived back to WakeMed, can't wait to see what God has in store for us.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sleepless and Seattle

The last couple of nights I have had a really difficult time sleeping, just missing my man next to me in bed. I lay there for hours dreaming of the day that I will get to feel him next to me, missing him so much that I can't even sleep. Finally this morning after hours of laying there I got sick of it and just got out of bed and decided to go for a walk to talk things over with God. So before the world woke up this morning I walked and walked and walked some more I walked until I had nothing more to vent. I spent the whole time walking, talking and praying to God. And just like He has so many other times He met me right where I was this morning. I will share more later (another day) but for now here is sweet nugget of what God was sharing with me this morning... John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” Praise God!

WakeMed here we come!!! Tomorrow Adam is being transferred back to WakeMed Neuro Care Hospital! We are so excited!

While Adam is still progressing and doing fantastic... I do have a serious prayer request... Today he had a surgical follow up CT and the results were not what we expected to hear... the doctors informed me that fluid has started to build up on Adam's left side again. It's not to the point that they are concerned enough to do anything about it right now, but any decline in Adam's progress could mean a trip back to surgery, so PLEASE pray that the fluid will resolve all on it's own and that God will continue to take care of Adam. Please pray.

Today Mackenzie was spending the day with my sister in downtown Seattle... and here is some pictures from their day...

This is Mackenzie waiting to see the world's greatest chiropractor... I miss you Dr. Barrett

Mackenzie at Pike Place Market downtown Seattle

Eating a yummy treat

Pretending to be a Barista

Ending her day at the beach
It's almost like I spent the day with her, it was so nice of my sister to text me so many wonderful pictures of Mackenzie and their day together. I miss her so much, but clearly she is having a wonderful time!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

God Is Compassionate

Today has been a day of mixed emotions. I will start with the exciting news and work my way towards the more difficult part of my day.

Exciting news... Adam has had a good day. This morning Mackenzie and I made our way to the hospital fairly early. She started talking to him and he turned his head toward her and with the help of his passy mur valve that goes over his trach he was able to make moaning noises back at her, as if he was trying to have a conversation with her. Today Adam had the best speech therapy session that he has had this far! Today the speech therapist put ice chips around Adam's mouth and into his mouth, he started to chew the ice and swallow... this is huge, most brain injured patients have a very difficult time with the swallowing reflex. Tonight I was able to work again with him and he actually opened his mouth for the ice chip! He is doing so great! I was so excited I kept telling Adam over and over again how awesome he is doing, and how proud I am of him, how much I believe in him... I am so excited for him! Like I mentioned yesterday, I am truly blessed to be able to see God's mighty hand at work in Adam's brain. Adam's brain is making new pathways every day!

The doctors are excited about Adam's progress and how far he has come in a week... they have begun talking discharge with us, there is no for sure date scheduled, but it will be sooner than later! For now when the doctors decide that Adam is ready we will be heading back to the WakeMed Neuro Care Hospital until he is ready to enter a rehabilitation hospital.

I also have a report on my friend Linda whose husband I asked you to pray for last week... I ran into her today and her husband is doing much better. Not only did he end up not having to move back to ICU, but he has improved a great deal... He has not needed his dialysis for his kidneys... this is an awesome answer to prayer!

My mom flew in today which has been a huge blessing and I am so glad to have her back... another exciting part of my day.

The difficult part of my day and a very difficult part of this journey was having to say goodbye to Mackenzie for 10 days. She flew out today with my sister to go back to Seattle for 10 days. It was a very tearful goodbye for both of us. It's hard enough to say goodbye to my sister, but to let go of Mackenzie too was really hard. I feel like my role as a wife (or what I knew of that role) has been robbed of me, and now I am having to put aside my role as a mom. Having Mackenzie and being a mom has been giving me purpose and helping me maintain somewhat of normalcy and balance... and now, well... it's just hard. I have been in tears for most of the afternoon and I miss both Adam and Mackenzie. Please pray for all of us as we are all apart from one another... please pray for Mackenzie as she is away and for her travel plans.

It's a good thing God has been teaching me that He is all I need. This has been my meditation today... Psalms 111:2-4 "Great are the works of the L0rd; they are pondered by all who delight in them. Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures forever. He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate." AND Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you;" I know I can make it through the next 10 days, because God cares for me, He is compassionate, and He will sustain me.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Let's Try This Again... Take 3

Today was our third time being moved out of the NSICU and I feel in my heart it's the last time!

Besides you know what they say... "third time is the charm". Being that we have spent 44 days out of our 53 day journey in the NSICU, the NSICU staff have become somewhat of a source of comfort, they all have walked through so much and so many hours with me. So many of them have rejoiced with me, cried with me, comforted me, listened to me... gone above and beyond to just be there for us. I wasn't able to get pictures of all the nurses and staff that help take care of Adam and I, but here are a few of the many that have touched our lives forever.

This has been home for way too long... Good Bye ICU!!!

This was Adam's board this morning in his room

Awesome HUC's, Raquel and Adria

Amazing NA (Nursing Assistants) Nikki and Kendall

Part of the incredible nursing staff Erica, Charlene, and Harold

More wonderful nurses Amy and Jim

Adam's crew Renee, Sonya, Lisa, and Derek

Another incredible nurse Blythe

Sweet Sheila

We were blessed to have Bridgette, such a sweet nurse

Adam had a fairly good day today. He did have a neurological storm early this afternoon, but was able to control it quickly with medication. Because he was out of the ICU he wasn't being bothered every 20 minutes or so, so this afternoon was the first time I saw Adam enter a deep sleep. He rested well, it was so awesome to see, rest is so vital for healing.
This morning when we were having our devotional and prayer time together I was talking to him like I do every morning, encouraging him and letting him know how much I believe in him and this morning he starting moaning back at me, like he was trying so hard to have a conversation. I could tell he was working so hard, he was able to hear his voice. I was so proud of him... I told him I knew what he was trying to tell me, I really do feel like I know what he was saying. The physical therapist worked with Adam for awhile this afternoon and Adam tolerated the therapy with no problem!
I am so excited to continue on this journey. I love how sweet and tenderly God has spoken to me during this season of my life and I have been amazed how he has drawn me into His loving arms. If you read my facebook page this morning then you already read this... but one thing I have been learning through this is I don't always have to ask for things in my prayer time, I need to spend time in adoration and thanksgiving worshiping my God. God already knows my needs, I need to worship Him for who He is, because God doesn't give us all we need... HE IS ALL WE NEED. John 4:23 "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks." So join me in worshiping Him and praising Him for who He is... Amen!?!!!
Psalm 59:16 "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble."

Monday, July 5, 2010

Too Much

Please pray for Adam tonight, he has been having neurological storms for most of the day and tonight he had a really bad one. Please pray for comfort over his body. Because his body was under so much stress with the storms he was very exhausted and overstimulated today so there was not much response from him.

I have several other prayer requests... a very close friend of my sister's unexpectedly passed away and she just found out this morning. This was very sudden and has hit her very hard. Please pray for her and her friend's family.

Also, my father in law's is a veterinarian and has another vet that works for him, her name is April. April was kicked in the head today by a horse and is undergoing surgery for a broken jaw. Please pray for her and her husband as they are going through this traumatic event.

Psalms 119:28 "My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word." My heart is dry but I'm still singing, so let your rain pour over our souls and fill us with your presence.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July

Happy Independence Day! Mackenzie made up a wonderful Happy 4th of July song, she is always singing and making me smile.

Adam has had a very stable day. He went the entire day without any neurological storms. He spiked a fever around 3:30am and was given morphine for pain at that time... but praise the Lord the fever already broke and he has been fever free all day. When I spoke with the doctors this morning they were all very excited to tell me that Adam responded for them on verbal command. He has wiggled both thumbs on command today! It's the slightest movement, but it's the greatest blessing. I am so proud of Adam and how hard he works every day.

Jeremiah 30:17 NKJV "For I will restore health to you And heal you of your wounds,' says the LORD"

Please pray that I can continue to choose to wait patiently, today I have been missing Adam so much that the physical pain seems more than I can bear. And I know I can't bear it, nor am I suppose to... God has been reminding all day, "Here I am... let me". Bearing a situation and being able to handle a situation are 2 different scenarios. God never gives us more than we can handle, the pain seems unbearable, but He must know I can handle it because Adam and I have been chosen "for such a time as this"... And since he has placed this season in our lives, I know the only way I will survive is trusting in Him, praying that I will walk obedient, and know without a doubt in my mind that He and He alone fills the voids and needs in my life... then and only then I can make it through the unbearable pain.

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