Monday, June 21, 2010

Hard But Hopeful

The definition of hard: causing pain or discomfort; difficult to endure; trying; exhausting. This definition pretty much sums up how my life feels some in some moments. But then instead of the 4 letter word hard, how about using hope. Webster definition of hope is: "to cherish a desire with anticipation". I like to think of the definition of hope this way: to cherish a desire with anticipation and expectation while waiting on the Lord. There is so much hope, there is so much to be hopeful for. Sometimes in the midst of my discomfort and exhaustion it's hard to wait, but God has sustained me and continues to do so moment by moment.

Praise God that I am not walking this alone, thanks be to God that he has walked every step before me, and I praise Him with complete adoration that He is carrying my burdens so that I don't have to feel the load. There is a reason that He is our Shepperd and we are His sheep... sheep are not load bearing animals, their spines break under pressure. Don't you see, we are not to carry our burdens, but lay them at the cross, allow God to handle them so that we don't break under pressure. Dear Lord, my precious Savior, please take my burdens and my heavy heart. I cannot carry this load on my own, I am inadequate, I need you. I place my heart in your hands, I give you everything. Please let me know you are near tonight, help the pain to cease for the night. This pain seems like more than I can bear, but I know you are my strength. And I know it's by your strength that I can bear it and continue on this path that you have marked out for me. Please God, give me the strength that I need for the next hour, thank you for the many blessings that we have seen come from this painful place. You are in control, thank you. I love you my sweet Lord, Amen.

Adam had a pretty uneventful day today. He had a couple of storms today, but not nearly like he did yesterday. I was able to bathe him, shave him, and groom him... any chance I had I wanted to touch him today. I want to be the one to take care of him. A nurse today said, that I have become a member of the team... I corrected her, and said I have been a member of this team long before you all have been. Adam and I are a team, we are united as one, nothing is ever going to take that away because what God has joined together we are not going to let man separate (Mark 10:9). Adam and I have worked too hard to get to where we are and we are not going to look back, but only forward to see what God has planned for us. Every moment I am given with Adam is one more minute God has spent knitting us together as one, I can think of no greater man to be one with the my man Adam. Thank you God for the gift you have given me, I am one blessed girl.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Amy-

I read your blogs, but haven't commented yet. So I thought I would give a shout out. I am blessed by your words today, yesterday, and Saturday. I love hearing your heart. Thinking and praying for you always.


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