Adam is the most incredible guy I have ever known, and the most handsome if I may say so. In my not so professional opinion, I feel like Adam is starting to come out of his coma... he has been fluttering his eyes (his eyes for the most part are still closed, but I can see movement). He wiggled his toes again for the 2nd time! And his right pupil which the doctors were quite concerned about has started reacting to some of their tests! I don't know how to describe the feeling I get, but I feel Adam and can tell when he's comfortable, irritated, agitated, relaxed... I guess the only thing that I can relate it to is a mother with her baby, only with Adam it's even more intimate and deeper then what I remember with Mackenzie. Today he was very uncomfortable... something was wrong and I have been trying to figure it out. He seems to be more calm this evening, but his fever was up again... he's most likely exhausted.
I know he knows when I am in the room, he can sense me. He is loving me deeply as he tries to connect with me and be here with me. The greatest gift he has ever given me has been that he has fought this battle and hasn't given up. I miss him beyond what I could express, it's a pain that I never again want to experience. I am trying hard to wait on the Lord and be patient for He is doing a work in Adam, and if I am honest, in me too.
Micah 7:7 "But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior, my God will hear me."
Waiting, let alone waiting patiently, has been and is a lesson that God must be teaching me. Everything has been about waiting. I realize how I wait is a choice... I can wait on the Lord, who will give me the patience I need to wait... or I can wait with anxiousness, irritability, and frustration. Seeing that God has ordained this season for Adam and I and knowing that God has graciously prepared me for this season as well, it's been easier to trust in the Lord and endure the waiting. (I will be writing soon in a series of how God has prepared me for this journey)
Speaking of choices... a conversation that Adam and I had frequently is how love is a choice. How we love is a choice. We can love out of obligation, out of convenience, rather than being intentional and loving selflessly, and unconditionally. I pray daily that God would show me how to love Adam the way God desires Adam's wife to love him. Love is a verb, it's not an emotion, or a feeling... but an action. For me it means anticipating his needs, his desires, and laying down my own selfish ambitions to minister to my husband (As a wife this is the ministry God has called me to). When I have been successful at taking this approach in my marriage, God has blessed even more than I dreamed was possible.
When I live daily with being intentional in making my goal to bless Adam, he then has turned and blessed me in ways I never imagined, and through this I have been able to grow closer to God. When I choose to put God first and ask him to teach me to love Adam, God then not only draws me closer to Him, but strengthens my marriage and allows Adam and I to become one, the way He designed marriage to be. Choose this day to be a blessing, the rewards are so amazing... God is waiting to bless you.
I read John 15 to Adam today and I will challenge you with this verse tonight... John 15:12 "My command is this, love each other as I have loved you." I am praying for every wife who is reading this that God would show you how to love your husband the way that He wants your husband to be loved by you. Love, after all is the greatest commandment.
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- In Hands of God
- Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes and ...
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- Long Day
- Adam Is In Surgery... again.
- Rejoicing in a good day.
- Be Joyful In Hope
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