Monday, May 31, 2010

In Hands of God

Philippians 2:1-2 "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in the spirit and purpose."

I am so blessed that I have been able to find my comfort in the arms of my Savior, for who else could I turn for such comfort at a time like this? I have received great comfort and encouragement in his love for me as well as his passion for pursing me. When reading the verse above I realized that with receiving such wonderful attributes of God, I have been tasked with a responsibility of being like-minded offering His love through me to others around me. These last 17 days I have not always been successful at offering my self as a sacrifice for Him to allow His love to shine through me. There have been moments when the flesh has taken over and emotions have ran high, and I am just sorry that I have allowed these situations to arise. Today was one of those days for me. This is where I am so grateful that His love covers a multitude of sins, where His grace is enough. Leaving the hospital is the hardest most difficult thing that I have to do... yet, I have realized it is vital to leave and rest so that the enemy's plan to come kill, steel, and destroy is ruined. The enemy will not come and kill relationships by separating family, he WILL NOT steel my joy and peace, and he WILL NOT destroy the plans that God has to turn this for the good. Please join me in praying all these things.

Today I reached a pivotal turning point in my journey... sometimes we hear things over and over again by so many people, but it's not until God personally etches it on my heart that I understand... today my moment was, God is always with Adam, even when I cannot be. God spoke to me today letting me know it was time to give up the control and realize that He is sovereign and is control whether I am there or not. I was comforted by that and by the fact that I know God will never leave Adam nor forsake him, so I placed Adam back into the hands of his maker where he belongs. And as for me, I went back to be my Lord's servant.

As far as Adam goes, please continue to pray... he took a couple steps backwards today. He has the EVD drain, which helps control and regulate pressure on his brain. Last night after several poor neuro exams the doctors decided to lower the pressure that Adam was doing on his own and allow the drain to handle the pressure... to see if he would improve. It helped a bit, but with the drain doing so much of the work, this keeps us in the ICU that much longer. While it would be nice to say goodbye to the ICU, it also provides comfort for me to know that Adam is getting top notch care and quite a bit of one on one attention. Adam continues to have a fever, and is still symptomatic of an infection, but I continue to pray against infection and I think it's no coincidence that they haven't found one yet... please keep praying, Adam's culture results won't be in until Wednesday.

While I have had to and am having to learn very difficult lessons throughout this journey, I am in awe of how blessed I am to see God's hand print all over this situation. He is my comfort, and in Him I will find my rest in His arms tonight... goodnight.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes and prayers sent our way today, they were so touching. Yes, today was my birthday, not just any birthday, but my 30th birthday. Not exactly how I envisioned it, but I was given the best gift of all... my husband is still here with me.

My family put together a really nice somewhat surprise party for me in the ICU area of the hospital... not my choice of venues, but it was so nice to be surrounded by family. Speaking of family, I am working hard at the moment to be strong... both my sisters fly out tomorrow and my brother flys out on Tuesday. I am not ready for them to go. I have loved their company, support, encouragement, and help over the last couple of weeks and I am so grateful for all they have done. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family. I love you guys. God will repay what I cannot, only heaven knows my heart.

Please continue to pray fervently for Adam, doctors are concerned that Adam is at high risk of pneumonia. He was needing to be suctioned regularly, which shows that Adam is weaker and less able to cough on his own. His fever went back up again and they are back to treating his fever with medication to keep it under control. The doctors are running several different cultures and doing daily chest x-rays, but we won't know anything for a couple of days since cultures take a couple of days to grow out. The doctors found a small area on his right lung today that they are watching very closely, they are unsure if it's pneumonia or the beginnings of his lung collapsing. Again, in my not so professional opinion, I believe Adam is going to be fine. Please join me in praying that Adam is infection free and that his body will find rest in the arms of his Savior so that his body can heal.

Thank you again for all the faithful prayers, I will write more tomorrow. But for right now, I am seeing double I am so exhausted... Good night, I am going to crawl up in the arms of my comforter and find my rest.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Choices

Adam Update:

Adam is the most incredible guy I have ever known, and the most handsome if I may say so. In my not so professional opinion, I feel like Adam is starting to come out of his coma... he has been fluttering his eyes (his eyes for the most part are still closed, but I can see movement). He wiggled his toes again for the 2nd time! And his right pupil which the doctors were quite concerned about has started reacting to some of their tests! I don't know how to describe the feeling I get, but I feel Adam and can tell when he's comfortable, irritated, agitated, relaxed... I guess the only thing that I can relate it to is a mother with her baby, only with Adam it's even more intimate and deeper then what I remember with Mackenzie. Today he was very uncomfortable... something was wrong and I have been trying to figure it out. He seems to be more calm this evening, but his fever was up again... he's most likely exhausted.

I know he knows when I am in the room, he can sense me. He is loving me deeply as he tries to connect with me and be here with me. The greatest gift he has ever given me has been that he has fought this battle and hasn't given up. I miss him beyond what I could express, it's a pain that I never again want to experience. I am trying hard to wait on the Lord and be patient for He is doing a work in Adam, and if I am honest, in me too.

Micah 7:7 "But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior, my God will hear me."

Waiting, let alone waiting patiently, has been and is a lesson that God must be teaching me. Everything has been about waiting. I realize how I wait is a choice... I can wait on the Lord, who will give me the patience I need to wait... or I can wait with anxiousness, irritability, and frustration. Seeing that God has ordained this season for Adam and I and knowing that God has graciously prepared me for this season as well, it's been easier to trust in the Lord and endure the waiting. (I will be writing soon in a series of how God has prepared me for this journey)

Speaking of choices... a conversation that Adam and I had frequently is how love is a choice. How we love is a choice. We can love out of obligation, out of convenience, rather than being intentional and loving selflessly, and unconditionally. I pray daily that God would show me how to love Adam the way God desires Adam's wife to love him. Love is a verb, it's not an emotion, or a feeling... but an action. For me it means anticipating his needs, his desires, and laying down my own selfish ambitions to minister to my husband (As a wife this is the ministry God has called me to). When I have been successful at taking this approach in my marriage, God has blessed even more than I dreamed was possible.

When I live daily with being intentional in making my goal to bless Adam, he then has turned and blessed me in ways I never imagined, and through this I have been able to grow closer to God. When I choose to put God first and ask him to teach me to love Adam, God then not only draws me closer to Him, but strengthens my marriage and allows Adam and I to become one, the way He designed marriage to be. Choose this day to be a blessing, the rewards are so amazing... God is waiting to bless you.

I read John 15 to Adam today and I will challenge you with this verse tonight... John 15:12 "My command is this, love each other as I have loved you." I am praying for every wife who is reading this that God would show you how to love your husband the way that He wants your husband to be loved by you. Love, after all is the greatest commandment.





Friday, May 28, 2010

You're My Favorite


This song has been one that I have been singing and listening to for this past week. I encourage you all to listen to it.


Bring The Rain by:MercyMe

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise you with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life bring me pain
But if that's what it take to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Adam is still in a coma, but I believe he is with me, I feel it in the deepest part of my soul... he is with me. I know without a doubt in my mind, he is loving me in the ways he knows how... I feel it, I feel him. Today Adam and I shared ear buds and listened to my Zune. We listened to the song above and a few others. My verse that I prayed over Adam and I gave him today was Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you. Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." We prayed together, we encouraged each other... we just spent time together, just the two of us. It was passionate, intimate, and beautiful. I love that man with everything that is inside my soul. He is such a good man, and he is all my man.

In one of my special moments with Adam today, I was whispering sweet nothings in his ear and I it just came out... "you're my favorite" Ever since Adam and I were dating he tells me multiple times a day... "You're my favorite." Now it's my turn to tell him. So... Adam, honey.... "You're my favorite. Always and forever you will be my favorite."

Adam's fever has been a low grade fever and stable not going up and down like it has been. We met with the physical therapist and she showed us how to work Adam's muscles. His muscles have begun to fatigue and it's important that we keep them moving so that he will be able to go a recovery center rather than a nursing facility when we eventually get to be discharged from the hospital. Adam is working himself out of the NS ICU. If all goes well we will be out of the ICU middle of next week!!!

The joy of the Lord is my strength... and today I have joy, peace, love, hope and much more... because my Savior lives and is breathing life into my soul. I love you Jesus. Jesus loves you just the same as he loves me, for this I know... the Bible tells me so.

Thank you to all you have posted comments, sent me cards and care packages, and said prayers for my family and myself... I might not comment on everything, but they ALL mean the world to me and keep me going. Thank you for your love, support, and encouragement in such a difficult time in my life... it will NEVER be forgotten.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

My Heart Today

Dear God,

You see my heart today, not everything in it is pure; with your right hand please divinely touch my heart. Purify it make it clean and holy before you. Help me to not take my eyes off you. Help me not to stumble by looking at my circumstances or myself, but to fix and keep my gaze on you.

Lord, you know where I am struggling and I ask that you please fill me today with an extra measure of your peace and grace so that your light will shine through me. Let my words be yours and not my own. Make me less so that you can be so much more through me.


Lord, where Adam usually caresses my face, kisses me, and holds me tightly next to him... let me feel you so much more through his absence. You see my broken heart, you see my sorrow, and yet, you have been so faithful in showing me how to love Adam in a whole new way that brings me joy. Only you God are capable of turning tears of sorrow to joyful rejoicing.

God I praise you and thank you for strengthening and upholding me by your righteous right hand. I take comfort in knowing that you will never leave me nor forsake me. I am trying my best to love you with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.
Amen




Above was a piece of my personal journal entry from today. "One of the most important parts of fulfilling our destiny will be transparency." Beth Moore Esther Bible Study. In needing to be transparent, I have a confession, I have been operating on such little sleep and today was the first day I noticed that I am starting to become emotionally irrational. So I left the hospital for the first time for more than just an hour or two. I am currently home (which will be another blog entry for another time) trying to figure out how to be here, let alone rest here without the love of my life.

I am fighting such a spirit of guilt, guilt in leaving Adam, which I know in my heart of hearts that this guilt is not of God. This is where rest is becoming vital so that the enemy will have no place in this journey, no victory in my emotions, no victory in allowing me to be fearful, no victory in creating anxiety, only fear of the one I too fear... The King of kings, Lord of lords. He has already claimed victory in this situation and won the battle. I am praying that God will comfort and be with Adam while I am not at his bedside.

Please pray for my family this evening, (this seems so silly to say when I know you all have been faithfully praying) pray that we will find rest in the arms of my Savior tonight. Also keep praying for God to continue His will for Adam's life. Thank you for your obedience to Christ and the role that you all have played as a member of the body of Christ Jesus. I am praying that God will strengthen your faith as well through this so that God can ultimately be continued to be glorified through this.

Philippians 4: 8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

God Is Love

Today seems like it has been a particularly long day and for no certain reason... well... other than the pure exhaustion I am feeling from a lack of sleep. Thankfully, God sustains me hour by hour even in my sleep deprivation I am given the grace I need to make it to the next moment.
Words cannot express the overwhelming heartache I am experiencing in the absence of my best friend, my lover... my husband. I miss him so much that every fiber of my being physically aches. Please don't get me wrong... I experience the joy of the Lord and hope beyond what I thought would be possible... but somehow sorrow is in the midst of my joy today.

Adam's day was somewhat unchanged. His heart rate kept dropping down into the 30's and his blood pressure was high. The doctors gave him medication to help drop his blood pressure and that seems to be working, and the doctors don't seem to be too concerned about his heart rate for now, they said it's fairly normal for all that he is experiencing. He again started leaking CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) out his sutures again today, why it's not coming out of his EVD (external ventricular drain) they don't know. The doctors just decided they will keep an eye on it for a bit. I am realizing that this is a journey of a lot of waiting and little answers. Adam didn't respond in his exams today, but I am still holding onto the fact that he did yesterday. Overall today Adam seemed restful. Keep praying, I believe God is rebuilding Adam from the inside out.

Part of me wonders... while Adam is not with me, is he getting a glimpse of heaven? The thought that came to mind today was... God is love. What if he is getting a tangible glimpse of that love? While I hope all who read this blog see a glimpse of my love for Adam, it would not be possible without a love for Christ first and foremost. 1 John 4 (bits and pieces) "Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is make complete in us." I believe the only way to love, truly love is to know God because He is love. In my life I have felt broken so many times, but when I return to the feet of Jesus I am made complete in his love.

If we truly know God, we will love as he loves us.


Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My Hope Comes From The Lord

I can't wait to share with you all about how awesome this morning has been! I want all of you who have been faithfully praying for me and my family to rejoice with us this morning.

I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!!! This morning when Adam's team of doctors were making the rounds and doing the neuro exam, I asked if I could give Adam his commands, so that he could hear them from my voice... and... he responded to my voice and wiggled his toes!!!! This is truly a miracle! He is still in a coma, but he responded to me. Like I have said before, I know he hears me... he responds to my touch, my voice, and my love. My hope will never come from what the doctors say, but from the only one true source of hope... My Savior.

It continues to be a daily practice to trust with all my heart, to take my fear captive, and to remember who the author of this story is. He has only just begun the story and I am so honored that you all want to be apart of it by praying, encouraging me, and following the story. I feel blessed that God has chosen Adam and I for such a time as this to be His servants, to walk in truth and in love. I pray that I will continue to endure and walk in obedience.

1 Peter 1:13 "Get your minds ready for good use. Keep awake. Set your hope now and forever on the loving favor to be given you when Jesus Christ comes again."

Rejoicing in this moment. "For this is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Keep praying... IT'S WORKING!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Sow in Tears Reap With Songs of Joy

God has been carrying me through the last 24 hours with this:

Psalm 126: 5&6 "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to so, will return with songs of joy." My footnote says: God's ability to restore life is beyond our circumstances. Forests burn down and are able to grow back. Broken bones heal. Even grief is not a permanent condition. Our tears can be seeds that will grow into a harvest of joy because God is able to bring good out of tragedy. When burdened by sorrow, know that your times of grief will end and that you will again find joy. We mist be patient as we wait. God's great harvest of joy is coming. Amen.

I don't know how to even begin this blog post, it's been a difficult 24 hours. I know that I said I would post something last night, but I was unable to.

Last night we were given a preliminary reading on Adam's MRI, I am unable to give all the details right now, it's just too hard. The basic message is that there was more damage to Adam's brain then originally thought and the damage is deeper and more internal than originally thought. Later, when I have had time to process all the information I heard last night I will explain more, but for now this is all that I can say. Too many tears. I have learned that I can still have peace and the strength of the King of Kings and be sad.

Today, Adam was leaking more CSF fluid from his sutures instead of going through the drain. Which shows it was taking the path of least resistance. We want the fluid to go out the drain and not the sutures to prevent infections. So the doctors resutured his entire head. He spiked another fever today, but after a nice chat with the nurses I helped them by explaining what I thought would work and sure enough... 4 hours later his fever went down. Adam has been removed from the ventilator as well! Overall today Adam was stable! We have been told numerous times that it's and up and down roller coaster journey... today seemed to be an up day. I love being so active in Adam's care, now that I have had my full focus on him 24 hours a day I notice the subtle changes good and bad. Being so active really aides me being Adam's best advocate.

I love that so many of you have offered to help in any way that you can. The help that I need from all of you is prayers still, please continue to pray fervently. With the messages I have received from you, you all have been an inspiration to me and my prayer life. Thank you for your beautiful words of encouragement and your faithful prayers.

So many of you have asked to do something, or just anything for me... here's what you all can do for me:


  1. Draw closer to God in your own relationship with him, so that God can be glorified through you in this situation. On a "pass it along" card I have in my pocket it says "God doesn't want shares of your life, He wants controlling interest. Mark 12:30 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."

  2. Appreciate the moment you've been given so rejoice and be glad in it. Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own."

  3. Evaluate your priorities in your life, does God sit on the throne in your life? Do your loved ones know that you love the way Christ has called you to love? Matthew 13:34 "A new command I give you, love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

I too am praying for all of you, that God will touch each of you through this season of my life. I pray that you turn to him and draw closer to him and that in return he will draw near to you. Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Sunday, May 23, 2010

God Is So Faithful

I will update more later, but I just wanted you all to know that Adam's MRI results won't be back until tomorrow sometime.

Adam to me looks good and is resting peacefully.

I will do a full update this evening, but I wanted to update you all since it has been a long.

Long Day

I was able to see Adam for about 10 minutes after his surgery before they whisked him away to an MRI. The doctors are concerned because Adam's right pupil which has been dialated for several days is not following the pattern of his injury, and he has slowed in response in his neuro exams. He has been in the MRI for the last 2 1/2 hours, when they said it was only going to be 40 minutes. The doctors' concern was there might be another area of the brain that was injured and are mainly looking at the brain stem.

Please pray as I am trying hard not to be anxious and I am trying remain in the moment. My God is faithful in love, faithful in mercy, faithful in hope, faithful to carry me.

PLEASE PRAY.

Adam Is In Surgery... again.

Please pray for Adam as he is currently in surgery. The doctors are placing a external ventricular drain (EVD) in Adam's right side of his skull to help drain excess fluid from sitting on his brain. While they are doing this they are able to draw some cerebrospinal fluid (CFS) to help them locate Adam's infection.

I will update when he comes out of surgery.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Rejoicing in a good day.

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Giving thanks in times of trials and difficulty is always a battle of the mind, but this week it has gone to a whole new level for me. Disciplining the mind to take fear captive and remain in the moment is a consistent moment by moment struggle for me right now. I found it easier to take my fear captive when I am able to give thanks in my circumstances. Fear and faith cannot coexist for me right now, if I allow fear to creep in I begin to loose faith. So being able to give thanks also allows me to have faith that God is working all things together for good.

Things I am thankful for in this moment:
(listed in no particular order)
  • I was given one more precious day with my man, my best friend... my husband
  • I am thankful that God chose me to be Adam's wife and helpmate
  • The LIVING Word of God
  • The blessing of family
  • Awesome friends
  • An amazing church body who has been awesome at supplying needs for my family
  • Prayers from around the world... I have heard from people as far as China praying for Adam
  • Good medical attention and help
  • Adam had an okay day
  • God has supplied all my needs
  • Strength that is not my own
  • Hope... because my hope does not come from doctors, nurses, or medical reports... but comes from the author and perfecter of my faith

There is so much more I could come up with, but for now this is a good start. Maybe I will add to it more later.

Adam's day seemed to go okay. His neuro exams were about the same, he is still struggling with consistent movement... but at least we are getting movement. His temperature seemed to be easier to control today, went up and down tonight he still has a fever of 101.4. Both pupils were dilated today and did not get great movement out of them. The doctors are considering putting in an EVD drain because there seems to be an increase of fluids around the injury site on the brain. His swelling has increased tonight and the doctors are keeping a close look on him.

My personal non-medical opinion, I think Adam looks great. He has good color, he seemed more restful than he has the last couple of days. Even though the doctors say this doesn't count... I am counting it... I saw Adam try to open his eyes while they were suctioning him. This tickles me so much to see subtle changes, but changes none the less!

Personal note... please continue to pray for Adam's recovery. Also be praying for Mackenzie and I as this is starting to hit us emotionally. Not only have I been apart from Adam for over a week, but Mackenzie as well. My heart is breaking in pieces... and the pain is cutting deep at the moment. I share this because we need prayer. You all have been so faithful and encouraging us. It's so comforting in knowing I can count on so many people lifting us up. I know God is in control and and I know he is faithful in being my feet right now to carry me through this, since I am not capable of walking this journey with my own two feet...

Here is my heart God, you can have it all. Refine me and and purify me so that I may become more like you through this journey. Help me to keep my eyes on you, even in the darkest, most difficult moments. Here I am God, use me. Amen

Friday, May 21, 2010

Be Joyful In Hope

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:9

I am going to update some what quick tonight because I am exhausted and can't think enough to form sentences to write.

Adam's surgery went well, with all the tubes out of his mouth and nose it was so wonderful to see his face. He is so incredibly handsome to me, I couldn't wait to kiss him. I thought it would be nice to shave him and clean him up now that the tubes were out of his face. So thank God I had a male nurse today who was able to show me how to shave my man. I so love being my husband's helpmate. I feel so blessed to have had this day with him.


Because of surgery he didn't respond all too well to his neuro exams which was to be expected. WE NEED THE PRAYERS TO CONTINUE... The doctors are no longer thinking his fever is a post operative fever, they believe Adam has developed an infection, they are trying to locate it. So far they have ruled out a couple of infections, but they are going to be testing him for pneumonia and they are also going to be doing a Spinal Tap to see if there is a possible infection in the spine. His heart rate tonight remained elevated for a couple hours, but about 30 minutes ago it started to calm down. The doctors have Adam hooked up to a EEG to monitor brain activity over the next 24 hours.

In the joyful moments, painful moments, weepy moments, thankful moments, I continue to trust in the Lord, and receive from Him all that is needed to sustain this moment. I know God is faithful, he is with me and walking before me with each step. I am doing my best to remain obedient and walk in the way he is calling me. Isaiah 30:21 says "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"

Thank you Lexis Nexis

My sister's team at Lexis Nexis in Bellevue, WA sent these to Adam. How sweet and thoughtful.



Power In Prayer

Just wanted to update you on Adam and share an awesome praise as well...

Adam had a rough night last night, his heart rate was elevated for reasons which they couldn't figure out. 3 out 4 neuro exams Adam had no movement on either side. And his right pupil dilated which is a symptom of pressure still building on his brain. His fever broke around 9pm, but returned around 2am. Overall it was a little rough, but there is still peace.

I spent a lot of time in Adam's room last night, I cannot express into words the presence of God that resides in his room and with him on his hospital bed. I just know God is all around. While I bathed Adam he was peaceful and calm and showed movement at his following neuro exam. My prayer has been that the joy of the Lord will fill Adam's body, mind, and spirit. I can feel the peace, hope, joy, and love when I am with him in his room.

While Adam might have had a rough night, we are expecting there to be ups and downs, but I know whether it's an up or a down, God is in control.

Adam is currently in surgery, I wanted to take this moment to share with you all an awesome blessing and praise. After the doctors explained everything to me about the procedure I asked if I could have a moment to pray over Adam and his surgery. The doctor preforming the surgery asked if I would mind if he also joined me in prayer and I was so tickled. So there over Adam was myself, his mom, 6 doctors and 2 nurses and after I opened us in prayer the main doctor also said a prayer over Adam and his team. He put God in control of Adam's surgery and thanked God for allowing him (the doctor) to be a servant to God. There is so much power in prayer. The presence of God and the Holy Spirit in me is so strong and intense that I can't help but to be filled with joy and rejoice in this moment.

I will post again later this evening with an update on Adam and how the surgery went. I love you all for praying with me, the body of Christ has been an amazing gift to me. Thank you all so much.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Love Always Hopes

For the last several mornings when I am allowed back in Adam's room we have our devotion time. I sing with him, pray with him, pray over his day, pray over his nurses, pray over his room. This time fills me with so much joy that I can rejoice in Lord and give thanks to Him for giving me one more day with the love of my life.

I love how no matter how many times you read a scripture verse it can come alive in different ways at different times. I was reading 1 Corinthians 13:7 "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." I vow to protect Adam by being his advocate, I vow to trust that God is in control, I vow to recognize where my hope comes from and I vow to continue to step one foot in front of the next and contine to endure this marathon that is in front of me. In the words of Adam's nurse "That's why they call it the living word... because it keeps speaking." Amen to that!!!

As far as an update goes on Adam... He is still unresponsive, but I have noticed involuntary movements on both sides of his body, which is a baby step in the right direction. His temprature has continued throughout the day, but seems to slowly be coming down this evening... Praise the Lord!!! His heart rate has been elevated for what seems to be no apparent reason. Please continue to pray, Adam goes back into surgery tomorrow... this is a simple procedure to put in a feeding tube into his stomach and put the ventaltor internal through his throat. To remove the tubes from his nose and mouth and puting the tubes in his stomach and throat, will help lower the risk of pneomnia and other infections. You all have been awesome prayer warriors, keep it up!

The song Broken Hallelujah by Mandisa has been perfect:

With my love and sadness
I come before You Lord
My heart's in a thousand pieces
Maybe even more

Yet I trust in this moment
You're with me somehow
And You've always been faithful
So Lord even now

When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah

Oh Father, You have given
Much more that I deserve
And I have felt Your hand of blessing
On me at every turn

How could I doubt Your goodness
Your wisdom, Your grace
So Lord hear my heart in this painful place


I love you all for joining me in prayer for my wonderful husband. I am so blessed that God has picked me to be the one to love, honor, and cherish Adam W. Root.

***WARNING*** Important Information

I appreciate so much everyones support, and I know that everyone wants to help... thank you.

PLEASE know that this is the only blog that I (Amy Root) am posting to. There are nice websites that people have set up to gain support for Adam, but please remember all those other sites are relying on updates and that information is coming second hand. Please remember when this happens, facts sometimes get mixed up.

I am so grateful for all those who want to get the word out and gain prayers and support (we need all the prayers we can get), but please respect the privacy of my family... this blog has always been somewhat of a family scrapbook. If you are taking pictures off my blog to post on your websites, please be respectful and only pick one or two. It's been really difficult to see all my personal family photos blasted across the internet.

Again, thank you for all your support and in getting the word out so that we can gain prayers across the nation, this has truly been powerful... and thank you for understanding and respecting our privacy.

If there are pictures you would like me to post send them to me via email.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

God's Grace Is Enough

I never realized how comforting writing this blog would be, but it has turned out to be a source of comfort to write my thoughts as well as updates.

While there has been no change in Adam's condition, this is my personal belief update not a medical update...

As a wife I am created to be my husband's helpmate, yet right now I feel so helpless. I would love to take all this away from him, but I know and believe that God is doing a work through all of this. I love my role as a wife and helpmate and I have learned new ways to be a helpmate in this time. My favorite things to do for Adam is to sing to him, read to him, pray with him, hold him, love him.

The nurses have been great at letting me be involved. I like to do as much as possible and I let the nurses if they can teach me, then I want to do whatever I can... I now bathe him, I do his oral care as much as possible, and I help the nurses reposition him. I have learned so much and I love being Adam's advocate. I love Adam with all my heart, more than words can say.

I have such a great praise, today I have been carried through the day by strength that is not my own. I have had such peace and hope in the day. Despite what the doctors say, I choose to believe that Adam hears me and knows he is holding my hand. Today his heart rate was elevated for a long period of time and I started singing to him and his heart rate lowered to a normal rate. I choose to believe that this is not by accident but because he knows it's me.

I will write again tomorrow. But for now I leave you with Philippians 4: 7&8 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING, WE NEED ALL OF THEM.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I Love My Man

Just a quick update...

I am overwhelmed with the outpouring of prayers and love for my family. Words cannot express my thankful my heart is. I am blessed beyond comprehension.

Adam's day has been a little difficult. He has been running a fever since Sunday, but up until today they have been able to manage it with Tylenol. This has made Adam's vital signs unstable, and has made for a rough day for Adam. There still has been no change in his neuro exams, he is still unresponsive and still on the ventilator.

I was able to spend an hour with Adam, it was so encouraging to talk with him, sing to him, pray with him, and hold him. He is still the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. I love that man so much it hurts. On Saturday morning on the way to the track Adam and I were talking about how awesome our friendship is, and intern it makes for one amazing marriage. This conversation we shared has played over and over again in my mind. I thought this was so special and I wanted to share it with you all.

I finish this update filled with so much hope that tomorrow is a new day and will be better than today. God has given me the endurance I have needed to make it through today and provided me with the comfort to be able to say "It is well with my soul".

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING

Monday, May 17, 2010

God Is In Control

First I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been faithfully lifting us up in prayer. This brings more comfort than I can express in words. There is such power in prayer and I have been so blessed to see the power of God prevail. We are not out of the woods, so please keep the prayers coming.

Here is the story of what happened as well as I can remember it...

Adam has always had a passion for motocross and loves a day when he can get out to a good track and ride. Adam has even taught Mackenzie to ride and enjoy a good track. This Saturday May 15th we packed up as a family and met our friends (the Lapiana's) at the track. Adam was familiar with this track, he went riding on it the week before. However, from what I understand they reversed the track (which rarely happens) and this makes the jumps unstable for a bit until riders can break the jumps in. Adam was on his second outing around the track and was aware that this particular jump was rough, and was not able to clear it.

Mackenzie and I were on the observation deck of the track waiting for Adam to come around when Mackenzie saw Adam wreck. Our friend that were riding with (Bill Lapiana) was right behind Adam and was able to keep Adam alive with his EMT training. Adam was airlifted to UNC Chapel Hill. By the time we arrived at the hospital Adam had arrived 10 minutes before, and was in surgery to relieve pressure off his swollen brain within 30 minutes after that. The fact that Adam made it through Saturday night was a complete miracle according to his doctors.

We were told the first 72 hours will be touch and go, but praise God, Adam's vitals at are stable. This is a good thing, but we are not in the clear yet. He is still in a coma, non-responsive (which means not a drug induced)... he is sedated between neuro exams. He is on a ventilator to help him breath, the best part about this is he is breathing quite a bit on his own (which is a huge improvement in the last 24 hours), the ventilator is now just helping him breath deeper.

Adam's injury is a severe left brain injury, the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body so while there has been movement on both sides of his body it's not with out the nurses and doctors using painful stimulus manipulation to get movement from him. Adam's brain was hemorrhaging and was given a grim outlook upon arrival; he has already astonished the doctors by being able to respond to manipulated movement based on his initial arrival. He is by no means out of the danger zone.

As the doctors continue to remind me, this is a marathon and we are not even the second step into it. We will need continual prayers. Philippians 4:6 & 7 Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, presents your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I recognize God as my comfort and my source of strength, He has carried me every step of the way through this and will continue to do so. I am trusting in Him completely, and where there is faith there is no fear. I will do my best to update when I can, until next time... there is power in praying in Jesus' name.

Love,
Amy

PS... Those that are close to the area, please respect our wishes and if you have not been contacted by a family member to come to the hospital please do not visit or call the hospital. Please rely on us to update when we can. I will need an army of support in weeks to come.

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