Scripture tells us in simple words how to make a marriage work. Men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church (unconditionally) and we are to respect our husbands (unconditionally).
I used to always think I totally respect Adam but it wasn't until I started paying attention that I realized that wasn't always the case. My disrespect was not intentional, it was that I just didn't know any better. It was never modeled or taught. However this is not excuse, with God's help I have become a student of my husband since August and I have learned it's about the little things.
Speaking specifically to women right now... think about it we too "love"the little things, the flowers just because, the call in the middle of the day just to see how we are doing, an evening walk together, a cup of coffee together and the list could go on. When our husbands do these little gestures it reminds us that we are loved, and unfortunately when we reciprocate these little gestures it might not mean as much to them if anything at all. DO NOT be discouraged by this, this is just how we are designed, so uniquely in His Image.
There is a reason that love comes so naturally for us to do and respect is something we have to really think about and learn, by learning and growing in this area we are being refined in His Image to be more like Christ. To do what does not come naturally and to do it UNCONDITIONALLY. By unconditionally respecting our husbands in our words, actions, and attitudes we are communicating to them that we love them and that we are madly in love with them. I am speaking not because I know better, but because I too am on this journey of learning what it means to respect unconditionally and grow to become more like Christ.
We are designed to operate differently; Men the provider and protector and women, the caretaker and nurturer. I am grateful for our differences I love being protected and I love the security that I have in Adam providing for us. It's so easy to get caught up in the "what has he done for me lately?" attitude rather than the "what have I done for him lately?" attitude. I encourage you to start looking at all the things that your husband is and what he does do rather than what he isn't and what he does do.
I am writing this to encourage you to look for the little ways that you can show him respect. I failed to this one Sunday a couple of weeks ago... It was raining outside and we pulled into the church parking lot and Adam stopped the car right outside the church entrance so that I wouldn't have to walk in the rain (sweet I know). But I declined and said that's okay I can walk with you, not knowing what I had just done. You see this was a new church for us and I was too insecure in walking into the church by myself that I missed out on my husband serving me. He later told me that by me not letting him drop me off he wasn't able to feel like the MAN that he is. Ouch... by responding to that small gesture and putting my own insecurities aside I would have been able to respect my husband and allowed him to serve me. You see, it is about the little things. Ask God for help in becoming a student of your husband, it's worth all the studying!
Hold on to the truth that "You are fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) God calls you His Masterpiece. He knows you and sees into the depths of your soul and loves you anyway. How undeserving am I to know such grace.
Until next time my the Lord keep you and show you His love for you everyday.
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